


Elastic Heart

by goldfishsunglasses



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Sugar Daddy, Fluff, Japhan, Light Angst, M/M, Possibly Unrequited Love, Shameless Smut, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-23
Updated: 2017-12-30
Packaged: 2018-05-03 01:19:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 26
Words: 41,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5271194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goldfishsunglasses/pseuds/goldfishsunglasses
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>sug·ar dad·dy</p><p>   <i>noun</i></p><p> 1. a rich older man who lavishes gifts on a young recipient in return for company or sexual favors.</p><p>sug·ar ba·by</p><p>   <i>noun</i></p><p> 1. the younger recipient of interest from a sugar daddy or sugar mama, especially financial and romantic in an inter-generational relationship</p><p> <i>“At SeekingArrangement, users are on the same page. Forget reading in between the lines, our members know what they want. Users approach one another without worrying about false pretenses.” (excerpt from SeekingArrangement.com)</i></p><p>Dan Howell, age 19, and Phil Lester, age 28, meet online and enter into an “arrangement”, with Phil acting as a sugar daddy to a much younger Dan. They get along great, and the sex is phenomenal, but what happens what that stops being enough? Follow them through a whirlwind year as they dance the fine line between what is acceptable, and what they really want.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. prequel

**Author's Note:**

> It’s finally here!! Enjoy a short little intro chapter before the real fun begins ^_^ (updated every M/W/F)

Well, shit.

Dan angrily ripped the eviction notice from the door and crumpled it into a ball. Devin was going to kill him when he got home. _Home._  They didn’t even have a home anymore, and it was all Dan’s fault.

 _Why_  did he have to live in a building owned by the brother of the woman whose husband he was getting paid to sleep with? Seriously, what were the chances? To say she was upset to walk in on her husband of 35 years being fucked by an 18 year old twink was an understatement. One call to her brother, and his lease was terminated without notice.

Oh, Devin was going to  _kill_  him.

****************************************************************************************************

“The fuck?” Devin exclaimed, staring incredulously at the wrinkled paper Dan handed him. “He can’t do this! He can’t kick us out without any warning!”

“Actually…”

“Oh fff-oh fuck, Dan. What did you do?”

“What makes you think I did something?” Dan said defensively.

“You have that look on your face. I’ve known you for almost 10 years, and I know what that look means. Dammit, just fucking tell me.”

“Don’t get mad.” He warned.

“Dan…”

“Honestly, you might even laugh, because it’s actually pretty funny, and I’m sure someday we’ll  
look back at this and have a laugh.”

“What. Did. You. Do?” Devin said, enunciating every syllable.

“You know Mr. Snyder?”

“You mean the man who basically pays your rent in exchange for a weekly “rendezvous”? Yeah, I’m familiar.”

“His wife caught us.”

“Oh god, did she follow you?”

“No…we didn’t…we were at…”

“You did it in his actual  _house?”_

“Yes?”

“Jesus…fucking… _Dan!”_

“I’m sorry, okay? He told me she wasn’t even in the country, and she must have come home early, and then…well, you know.”

“You fucked up.”

“I know.”

“No, Dan, you really fucked up. They’re gonna…”

“They already called. It’s done. I’m out.”

“Well, what did you think was going to happen?!” Devin shouted, and Dan flinched. His friend had never yelled at him like that before. Then again, he’d never messed up quite like this before.

“Devin…I…”

“Stop.”

“But…”

“I can’t talk to you right now.” Devin said, turning around and stalking away down the hall.

“Wait! Where are you going?” Dan called.

“I’m going to stay with friends until I can find somewhere new.” He answered coldly, not bothering to look back at Dan.

“Can I–”

“No.”

Dan watched as his only real friend exited the building, leaving him alone in the hall. He slumped against the wall and sank down to the floor, wrapping his arms around his legs and trying not to cry.

He’d fucked up so bad.

****************************************************************************************************

The only thing worse than returning to your hometown after failing to make it in the city is returning to your hometown after you bragged to everyone that you were actually getting out of there, and returning with your tail between your legs. At least nobody here knew what he had  _actually_  been doing in London. Luckily, he had a small sum left in his account, which he used to rent a small flat far away from anyone he might know. Dan knew it was silly to come back and not expect to see people, and it was silly to even come back at all, but it was his childhood home, and it was comforting, and he needed comfort right now.

It wasn’t long before he was nearly out of money, and Dan knew it was time to get a job.

He and Devin used to have a running joke that started after a particularly bad night for the both of them. They were sat on the floor attempting to drink away the memories of the evening, and numb any residual bodily aches. Dan was particularly agitated. He hated when customers didn’t listen, and Devin hated to see him upset. He’d passed the bottle, and nudged Dan’s knee with his own.

“Hey, at least it isn’t porn, right?”

At the time, Dan had giggled. His friend always knew how to cheer him up. But his friend wasn’t here now.

Dan caught a glimpse of himself in a shop window on his way to work. He hair was unwashed and curly, his uniform was ill-fitting, and he constantly smelled of grease. He barely made enough to keep his tiny flat, and every minute he wasn’t at work was spent hiding out there. Dan tried not to think about how far he’d fallen. He used to charge £500 for an hour of his time, and now it was only worth £6.70.

At least it wasn’t porn.

****************************************************************************************************

It took five months for Devin to finally call him.

“Hey, man. How’ve you been?” He chirped far too cheerily for the early hour, and Dan scowled as he draped his arm over his face, attempting to block out the rays of sunlight pouring in through his window. Dammit, he really wished this place had curtains.

“How the fuck do you think I’ve been?” He growled.

“I don’t know, that’s why I asked.”

“I’m flipping burgers in Wokingham, that’s how the fuck I’ve been.”

There was a pause. “Yikes.”

“Yeah, yikes.”

“Can’t you go to your…” He trailed off.

“No.” Dan said bitterly, “no, I can’t.”

There was another pause, eventually broken by Dan because as much as he wanted to hang up right this minute, he was too polite. “How have you been?”

“I’m actually doing really well, I’m living with this woman now, she’s great. She’s…uh…she’s a bit older, but I’m really happy, life is going pretty well right now.” Said Devin.

Something clicked in Dan’s brain. “So, you’re a…” he didn’t want to say it just in case he was wrong, and accidentally offended his former friend.

“Sugar baby.” Devin finished for him.

“At least it’s not porn.” He muttered under his breath.

“What?”

“Nothing, sorry it’s nothing. So, uh, how did you two…meet?”

“Have you ever heard of a website called SeekingArrangement?”

“No?”

“Oh. Well, it’s great. It’s basically like a dating website, except you look for–”

“Yeah, I get it.”

“So, are you interested?”

“Is that why you called?”

“I just felt bad, is all. I wasn’t a very good friend, and i want to make it up to you.”

“By hooking me up with a…”

“Yeah.”

He mulled over the idea. Honestly, what did he have to lose? It wasn’t like he hadn’t dealt with sleazy clients (although this was slightly different) in the past, and plus, it’s not like it was porn. Dan didn’t realize he’d said the last part out loud until he heard Devin snickering. “I can’t believe you remember that.” They talked for a few minutes, until Dan begged off, saying he had to get ready for work (he didn’t).

“Oh, okay,” Dan could hear the smile in Devin’s voice, ”Come by if you’re ever in London, yeah?”

“Yeah, ‘course.” Yeah, right. He hung up and flopped down on his tiny two-seater couch, opening up his laptop and typing in the web address of the site Devin had given him, taking a sip of his (now cold) tea as he waited for the page to load. When it did, he was asked a series of questions.

“I am a”  _click_  “man, who is a”  _click_  “sugar baby, and interested in…” he deliberated for a few seconds over the next choice because yes he preferred both, but did he really want a–no, for the purpose of his current quest, he preferred  _click_  “men”. The site then prompted him for his email, and he entered it, as well as checking the box to indicate that he was over 18, and hit continue.

He found himself typing “danisnotonfire” into the box marked username, laughing at himself for choosing the name he’d been using online since age 13 on a site like this, but he could appreciate the irony. Dan left the description box blank, because  _fuck_  he couldn’t think of one that didn’t make him sound like a product.

He scrolled through the ads, but everyone was either too buff, too old, too poor, too…not appealing to Dan, except for one man. Everything about him was perfect, from his gorgeous face to his 6 figure income, except his description read “Call me Daddy ;)”. Dan shuddered as he closed his laptop. Devin had said it would be hard to find someone he liked, but he didn’t think it would be this hard.

Maybe he’d have better luck tomorrow.

****************************************************************************************************

His username was AmazingPhil, but his description said Philip Lester, and the contrast between silly and serious is what first caught Dan’s attention. Philip Lester had nice eyes. He also had a networth of £50 million and promised a substantial lifestyle budget, but the thing that drew Dan in was his nice eyes that were somehow a mix of about three different colors and looked kind. Everything about Philip looked kind, and Dan felt the pit of worry in his stomach start to dissipate. He barely skimmed the rest of the profile before sending the man a message, unable to resist a stupid pun. As soon as he hit send, he regretted his immaturity and was certain he’d ruined his chances with the only decent guy on the entire site, and continued to fret until a message icon appeared in the top right corner of the screen. Dan opened it quickly, and covered his face, peeking out from between his fingers. What he could see of the message seemed benign, so he lowered his hands and read the entire thing, laughing aloud when he realized that he had no reason to be nervous.

_From: AmazingPhil_   
_To: danisnotonfire_   
_I can assure you that I am, indeed, amazing. I would like to get to know you better, but first I need you to prove to me that you are actually not on fire. Photographic evidence is sufficient, and can be sent to me at 07952 447386._   
_-Phil xx_

It was cheeky, it was forward, it was unexpected, and it was enough for Dan to yank his shirt off and take a picture (or 7, he needed to look perfect) to send. On a whim, he entered the number into the contacts as he waited.

_From: AmazingPhil <3?_   
_I’ve made us reservations at Aqua Shard for tomorrow night at 9, we can continue our conversation then xx_

****************************************************************************************************

His train had been delayed, he couldn’t find a taxi, and his phone had given him faulty directions, but eventually Dan arrived in front of the large building where the restaurant was located. He was almost 20 minutes late, and had sent an apologetic text to Philip, who assured him that he didn’t mind waiting. He stepped inside the doors, and instantly felt out of place in his plain white button-down shirt and jeans. What was he doing here? Why had he thought this was a good idea? He barely knew anything about this man, except that he had pretty eyes and could make Dan laugh, but here he was going to meet him with the promise of…well, sex.

He took a deep breath, and stepped into the lift.

At least it wasn’t porn.


	2. chapter one

Dan’s stomach flip-flopped as he rode the lift up to the restaurant. He was supposed to be meeting his potential “sugar daddy" here, and he was running late. He caught sight of himself in the mirrored wall. He looked nervous. Of course he did, he was nervous. Dan adjusted his hair, running his fingers through his brown fringe until he deemed it acceptable. He wished he had waited until later in the day to straighten it, as it was already starting to curl around the ends. Dan silently cursed his hobbit hair, and turned away from the mirror, the butterflies in his stomach distracting him.

This wasn’t the worst thing he had ever done for money, and it certainly sounded like the simplest. He hoped–he looked down at his phone–Philip Lester actually looked like his profile picture. Dan had heard of people using outdated or fake pictures on dating sites, if you wanted to call it that, and hoped this guy wasn’t one of them, because he looked really good in his picture. Like, exceptionally good. Like the kind of guy Dan would consider hooking up with even if he wasn’t the CEO of a large company with lots of money to burn. Luckily for Dan, he was.

Phil had inky black hair pushed back in a quiff that Dan knew he would be tempted to run his fingers through. Even through the screen, Dan could tell Phil had beautiful eyes. They were the blue-gray color of a stormy sea, the kind of eyes you could go swimming in. Dan liked them much better than his own plain brown ones.  
The lift slowed to a stop as it reached its destination, pulling him from his thoughts. The doors slid open, and Dan did a final fringe check before stepping out into the restaurant.

Dan spotted the guy almost instantly. He was at a table in the corner, typing very intently on his phone. Dan waved away the maitre’d as they tried to seat him, and made his way over to the table. He sat down across from the guy with a thump.

“I see you chose to seat yourself.” He said, not looking up from his phone.

“Sorry, I saw you and I didn’t want to waste anyone’s time.”

He finally looked up and held out his hand to shake.

“Hello, I’m Philip Lester, you can call me Phil. Nice to finally meet you.”

Dan took it, noticing how firm his grip was, a stark contrast to the softness of his hands. Phil took his hand back, and set his phone on the table.

“I hope you don’t mind that I already ordered.”

Dan shook his head. He had never even pictured himself here, and he had no idea what was good and what wasn’t.

Their food arrived, and Dan knew he wouldn’t be able to eat any of it, not with the way his stomach was churning.

Phil looked up from his food, and regarded Dan with curiosity.

“So, Daniel, was it?”

“Just Dan.”

“So, just Dan. Tell me about yourself.”

“Well, I just turned 19, I’m from Wokingham, I’m currently taking a gap year before I start University, and I’m broke.”

Phil laughed.

“You’re honest, I like that. Do you have any experience being a sugar baby?”

Dan winced. “Can we avoid that word? It makes me feel weird.”

“Sorry. Do you have any experience with this type of…arrangement?”

Dan shook his head. “This is completely new to me.”

“Do you know what this arrangement means, exactly?”

“An arrangement is where people are direct with one another and stop wasting time. It allows people to immediately define what they need and want in a relationship.”

“Did you just quote the website at me?”

“Sorry, it just sounded so strange it kind of stuck with me.”

“Yeah, they make it sound like some sort of business agreement.”

“Is that not what it is?”

Phil smiled at him, laughing softly, and Dan felt a strange surge of confidence. Maybe this wouldn’t be so hard after all.

“So, where in London do you live?” Phil asked.

“I don’t. I live in Wokingham.”

“I thought you said you were from Wokingham.”

“I am.” Dan smiled cheekily, deciding to let his smart-ass side make an appearance.

“How did you get here?”

“Train.”

“So you’re not that broke then.”

“Nope, not yet.”

Phil ignored the cryptic answer.

“Where are you staying?”

“With a friend.”

“How long?”

“I leave tomorrow morning.”

“So soon?”

“Places to be.”

“And do you frequent Gucci often?”

“What?”

Phil looked amused. “I’m referring to your profile picture.”

Dan blushed. He knew he shouldn’t have used that one.

“Don’t be embarrassed, I’m just teasing you.” Phil said.

“I was just dicking around with some friends. We didn’t actually go inside.

Phil raised an eyebrow. “I’m surprised. You look like a boy with expensive taste."

Dan shrugged. “I guess? I’ve never really had the funds to find out.” He laughed awkwardly.

“Is that what you’re hoping to get out of this?”

Dan squirmed uncomfortably. This was starting to feel weird again, and he felt his confidence leaving his body. Despite that, he asked the question that had been on his mind ever  
since he answered the ad. "What exactly do you get out of this? Do you get off on other people spending your money or something?”

“I guess you could say that.” Phil chuckled.

He finished his food and pushed his plate to the side. Dan did the same even though he had barely touched it. Food was the last thing on his mind at the moment.

“Do you want something to drink?” Phil asked, finally noticing how nervous Dan seemed.

“Uh, sure.”

When the waitress came by to remove their plates, Phil asked for a drink menu. She retrieved it and Phil handed it to Dan. Dan looked it over, he had no idea what half the things were, and there were no prices listed. He decided to go with what he knew.

“Can I get a margarita, please?”

The waitress turned to Phil.

“That sounds nice,” He smiled, “I think I’ll have one too.”

Their drinks arrived and Phil took a sip of his.

“This is good. How is yours?”

“It’s definitely better than any others I’ve tried. it’s not too sweet, and it has just the right amount of salt on the rim.”

“Wow, you seem really passionate about these.”

Dan blushed.

“I, uh, used to have a blog? Where I rated…where I rated margaritas.”

Phil looked at him with a strange expression on his face and Dan regretted saying anything. Phil was going to think he was so weird now. He fiddled with the straw of his drink, unsure of what to say next.

Phil cleared his throat.

“So, let’s discuss the potential terms.”

Dan nodded, and took a drink.

“One thing I ask, is that you wear a butt plug.”

Dan choked on his cocktail.

“A what?” he spluttered, looking around to make sure no one had overheard.

“A butt plug. Are you not familiar with that?”

“No, I am. Just…why?”

“To save time, obviously. When I’ve had a long day at work, I don’t want to have to waste time stretching you.”

“What if I say no?”

“That’s fine. That’s your choice. But it’s one of my rules.”

“I’ll need a few days to think about all of this.”

“Take as much time as you need. I want you to be completely comfortable.”

Phil smiled warmly.

“So, dessert?”

Dan nodded, grateful for the conversation change.

“Are you okay sharing?”

Dan nodded again, there was no way he was going to pig out in front of Phil. The waitress seemed to read Phil’s mind, and brought over the menu.

“What sounds good to you?” Phil asked Dan.

“You can pick this time.”

“We’ll have the tiramisu.” He told the waitress.

“Good choice, sir.” She said, flashing a flirtatious smile at Dan before she left.

Phil looked from her retreating figure, to Dan, and back to her.

“I think she likes you.”

“What? No, she’s probably just being nice.”

The waitress returned 10 minutes later with their dessert.

“Enjoy,” she said as she placed the plate in front of Dan, “let me know if you need anything else.”

“Thanks.”

“No problem.” She said with a wink before heading off again.

“She’s lucky I’m not the jealous type.” Phil said.

Dan didn’t know how to respond to that, so he just pushed the dessert over to Phil and picked up his fork. He waited for Phil to make the first move.  
Phil dug his fork into the tiramisu, and took a bite. He chewed and swallowed before continuing.

“You will also be required to live with me, will that be a problem?”

“Where do you live?”

“In a penthouse overlooking London.”

“No, I don’t think that will be a problem.” Dan said, trying hard to keep the sarcasm from his voice.

“I didn’t think so.” Phil said as he took another bite. He plunged his fork in again and held it out to Dan. Dan leaned forward slightly, and gingerly took the sweet morsel in his  
mouth. Phil watched him as he ate it, and smiled affectionately as he dabbed the corner of Dan’s mouth with his napkin to wiped a bit of cream off. Dan blushed, and looked away.

“I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable,” Phil apologized.

“It’s fine,” Dan mumbled, “just not used to people taking care of me like that.“

"I like to take care of people. It makes me happy.”

“You really do get off on this.”

“You really are a little smart ass.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, it’s refreshing. I spend my days with boring suits, I need someone to make me laugh sometimes.”

"So what else would I have to do?”

“Not too much, you would be expected to attend business functions with me.”

Dan stiffened.

“Like social events?”

“Just the occasional party.”

“I’m not great at those.” Dan admitted.

“Neither am I, but I find having someone with me makes it better.”

“Alright, just don’t judge me if I end up in a corner awkwardly texting.”

“I’ll try not to.”

“Is there anything else?”

“I also need you to get tested first.”

“Tested on what?”

“Tested for STDs.”

"Oh.”

Another drink was placed in front of Dan and he accepted it gratefully, resisting the urge to down it quickly.

By the time they were done, Dan was starting to feel more comfortable around Phil. He didn’t seem nearly as intimidating as Dan thought he would be, and suddenly the situation seemed a lot more appealing.

He snuck a peek at the bill before Phil snatched it up. It was for £400. Holy hell, if this guy could afford to drop that on dinner and drinks, then Dan was going to have a good time. If he agreed, that is. Oh, who was he kidding, of course he was going to agree. He just wanted to make Phil sweat a bit first. He also wanted to see if he could negotiate a few of those terms as well.

Phil smoothly pulled a business card from his wallet, handing it to Dan.

"Try not to take too long with your decision-making.” He winked.

**One week later, back in Wokingham**

Dan looked around the sparse furnishings in his small flat. It hadn’t actually been that hard to make up his mind. The threat of eviction made decision making fairly easy. Leaving this place behind was going to be even easier. He pulled out his phone and punched in the number from the card. It took two rings before he got an answer.

“Phil? I’ll do it. But I’m not wearing a fucking butt plug.“


	3. chapter two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sug·ar dad·dy
> 
> _noun_
> 
> 1\. a rich older man who lavishes gifts on a young recipient in return for company or sexual favors.
> 
> sug·ar ba·by
> 
> _noun_
> 
> 1\. the younger recipient of interest from a sugar daddy or sugar mama, especially financial and romantic in an inter-generational relationship
> 
>  
> 
> _“At SeekingArrangement, users are on the same page. Forget reading in between the lines, our members know what they want. Users approach one another without worrying about false pretenses.” (excerpt from SeekingArrangement.com)_
> 
>  
> 
> Dan Howell, age 19, and Phil Lester, age 28, meet online and enter into an “arrangement”, with Phil acting as a sugar daddy to a much younger Dan. They get along great, and the sex is phenomenal, but what happens what that stops being enough? Follow them through a whirlwind year as they dance the fine line between what is acceptable, and what they really want.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's moving day!! (updated every M/W/F)  
> [flat layout](https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B9A7bEFwW5EvQ2dVT1ZVSS1LeU0/view?usp=sharing)

Dan had meant to wake up early, he really had. He had slept through the alarms he had set, all seven of them, and was now running so behind that by the time he completed the journey from Wokingham to London, it was already late afternoon.

Looking at his phone, he noticed several missed calls and a text from Phil. After a moment’s debate, he decided to check the text first.

> _Phil: I will be in the office all day. I’ve told the doorman to let you in. Feel free to explore before I get home. If you need anything, Zoe and Louise are there to help._

Dan had no idea what the last part meant, and he was about to text Phil back about it when the car Phil had sent for him arrived and the question was pushed from his mind. This was happening, he realized, this was really happening.

The ride was short, and before long the car pulled up in front of the building. Dan’s eyes grew wide as he took it in. Phil lived  _here_?

Sure the doorman wouldn’t let him in, he was surprised when he was greeted with a smile and a polite wave, before riding the private lift (private lift!) up to Phil’s apartment, the butterflies from their first meeting making a reappearance.

No one seemed to be home so he headed to the room Phil had told him would be his. He hadn’t brought much with him, everything important had fit in one suitcase, which he placed on the bed. Opening it, he pulled out a picture of his childhood dog, one of the only things he missed about home. Setting it on the dresser, he pulled out his bear next. He knew it was silly, and he almost didn’t bring it, but he had slept with it ever since he was a baby, and he couldn’t part with it. However, there was no way he would admit any of this to Phil, so he shoved it in a dresser drawer, covering it up with the small amount of clothes he had brought with him.

Phil had assured him he would receive an allowance, and he planned to take advantage of that, but he needed some clothes to wear until he had a chance to do some shopping.

After putting the rest of his stuff away, he decided to take a tour of the house on his own, not wanting to bother anyone. He started with the room across from his, but when he tried the door, it wouldn’t budge.

“It’s no use, love. That doors locked up tight.” came a voice from behind Dan. He jumped and turned around slowly, careful not to fall over. In front of him was a very pretty girl, more of a woman really, with blonde hair tipped pink. Her curves were accentuated by the dress she was wearing, floral, with a poofy skirt, Dan didn’t know much about fashion, but he could tell she took great pride in her appearance. She grinned, revealing a gap in her teeth that Dan couldn’t help but find endearing.

“Which one are you?”

“Well, aren’t you a polite one.” She snorted

Dan blushed, embarrassed that he had come across so rude on his first day in the house.

“I’m sorry, I meant are you Louise or Zoe?”

“I’m Louise, at your service.” She said, giving little curtsy and making Dan laugh.

“So, who exactly are you? I mean what do you do here?”

“Officially, we take care of the house, unofficially, we take care of Mr. Lester.”

“Are you here all the time?”

“I live here actually. In the room on the other side of the house.”

“What about Zoe?”

“She lives in her own flat, with her boyfriend. She’s gone home for the night, but you’ll meet her soon. So, would you like the official tour?”

“Yes, please.”

“Follow me, then.” She said, beckoning Dan forward.

He trailed behind her as she led him out of the hallway.

“The room diagonal from yours,” she pointed, “is Mr. Lester’s office.”

She turned and walked down a longer hallway.

“Here’s the laundry room, which you don’t really need to know, and the guest bathroom, for guests.”

“I gathered that.”

She giggled. “Just making sure.”

“You’ve already seen the lift, and this,” she said, gesturing to the large open space in front of them, “is the ‘great room’”

“It does seem pretty great.”

“He’s got jokes.” She laughed before returning her attention to the tour.

“It’s pretty much the main room of the house, with the kitchen, dining area, and over there,” she pointed to the other side of the house, “is the lounge.”

“That door to the right is Mr. Lester’s, and the one on the left is mine.”

“It’s like you have your own little section.”

“Pretty much, and it’s off limits to snoopy little boys.” She said, poking him in the arm.

“Aww.” He pretended to frown before spotting a terrace through the glass doors in the lounge, trying to hide his excitement from Louise. He had always wanted a terrace, and this one would definitely have a great view.

“So, what do you think? Does it live up to your standards?”

“I think it will do.” He said, attempting a posh accent.

“Oh, jolly well good.” She replied, changing her voice to match his.

They spent a moment making silly faces at each other, wrinkling up their noses and waving their pinkies in the air. Dan found himself laughing so hard his stomach hurt, and he held up a hand, admitting defeat.

Louise had a way of making him feel instantly comfortable, and he was very glad he had met her.

“Well, that’s the house.” She said, clapping her hands.

He decided to try one more time, maybe now that she knew him she would tell.

“So what exactly is in that room?”

“Nosy, nosy.”

“It was worth a try.”

Louise patted his cheek, and grinned, revealing her gap again.

“I have a feeling we’re going to be great friends, you and I.”


	4. chapter three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sug·ar dad·dy
> 
> noun
> 
> a rich older man who lavishes gifts on a young recipient in return for company or sexual favors.  
> sug·ar ba·by
> 
> noun
> 
> the younger recipient of interest from a sugar daddy or sugar mama, especially financial and romantic in an inter-generational relationship  
> “At SeekingArrangement, users are on the same page. Forget reading in between the lines, our members know what they want. Users approach one another without worrying about false pretenses.” (excerpt from SeekingArrangement.com)
> 
> Dan Howell, age 19, and Phil Lester, age 28, meet online and enter into an “arrangement”, with Phil acting as a sugar daddy to a much younger Dan. They get along great, and the sex is phenomenal, but what happens what that stops being enough? Follow them through a whirlwind year as they dance the fine line between what is acceptable, and what they really want.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This is PWP and I’m not even sorry (updated every M/W/F)  
> [flat layout](https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B9A7bEFwW5EvQ2dVT1ZVSS1LeU0/view?usp=sharing)

Phil allowing Dan to pick out anything he wanted for his new room turned out to be more complicated than he thought. He searched and searched, before finally giving up and purchasing everything from Ikea, finding old habits hard to break, with the added bonus of not having to assemble it himself.

The bed in his new room was large, with matching end tables flanking either side. A chest of drawers and a wardrobe stood off to the side, waiting to be filled. Sitting on the desk by the window was a new iMac, courtesy of Phil. His favorite thing in the room was a chair shaped like a butt. It was weird and Phil had looked at him funny when he mentioned it, but it was too perfect to pass up. There was a another chair in the corner, currently holding Dan’s open suitcase. Miraculously, his amber lamp had survived the trip, which was a very good thing, because he dependant upon its soothing light to sleep.

Stringing fairy lights across his headboard, he jumped as his phone rang, breaking the quiet stillness and capturing his full attention Dropping the lights, and not even bothering to look at the screen, he answered.

“Hello?”

“I’ll be home in 20.”

As silly as it seemed, he was excited about breaking in his new bed, especially since Phil would be helping him do it. Cringing internally at that juvenile thought, he turned out the light, bathing the room in the glow of his amber lamp and fairy lights.

Usually preferring to set the mood when he was going at it solo, Dan found himself hindered by the time constraint, but not not enough to soil the activity. Quickly stripping down, and climbing on to the bed, He coated his fingers with lube, and lay his head back on the pillows, pulling his knees up to his chest.  
Circling his his hole with a finger, Dan slipped it inside, hissing at the burn. He took his time, curling and scissoring his fingers, adding one, and then two, letting out small whimpers every time he brushed his prostate.

Hearing a noise, he pulled his fingers out, looking up to see Phil standing in the doorway. Pulling off his suit jacket, and dropping it to the ground, he stepped inside, making quick work of the buttons on his shirt. Dan stared, transfixed as Phil slipped it off his shoulders and let it fall to the ground.

“Holy crap, you’re hot!” He blurted out, instantly regretting his outburst.

Phil chuckled softly as he unbuttoned his trousers, shedding them quickly until he was clad in only his boxers.

Climbing onto the bed, he immediately attached his mouth to Dan’s dick, causing Dan to arch his back and gasp. He hadn’t been expecting Phil to dive in quite so quickly. Phil pulled back and started teasing him, alternating between tiny kitten licks and sucking on the head. Phil paused, looking up to admire the boy in front of him.

“Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are?”

Dan shook his head.

Taking a moment to explore Dan’s tan line with his tongue before kissing his way up Dan’s stomach and chest, he brought his mouth to a nipple, sucking it gently. Embarrassed, Dan tried to push him off.

“I’m not a chick, Phil.”

Laughing quietly, Phil’s breath tickled Dan’s chest as he focused his attention on the other one. Dan bit his lip, tilting his head back, and exposing his neck, and Phil grabbed his chin, turning his head to the side.

“Can I?”

Dan nodded as best he could with Phil holding his head, inhaling sharply as Phil pressed his lips to his neck, skimming down until he reached the curve of Dan’s shoulder. Dan brought his hands up to rest on Phil’s waist, with Phil nipping and sucking on the skin there. He started to move one of his hands to cup Phil through his boxers, and Phil responded by yanking it away.

“Not yet.” He growled into Dan’s neck.

Sinking his teeth into Dan’s shoulder one last time before moving his attention to Dan’s earlobe, flicking it with his tongue. He sucked on it slightly, enjoying the weird metallic taste of the earring there.

Dan wrapped his arms around Phil again, running his long fingers down his back and slipping them into the waistband of Phil’s boxers. Phil let out a small noise at the contact, and Dan bent his legs, trapping Phil between his knees.

Realizing he was losing control, Phil pulled back and grabbed Dan’s wrists, forcing them out and down onto the bed, holding them there for a moment before pushing them under Dan’s lower back.

Phil ran his tongue over Dan’s tip, causing him to moan softly. Dan watched as Phil kissed his way up his chest before pulling back to lavish attention on his dick again.

“I thought this was supposed to be about you.” Dan said quietly.

Phil flicked his tongue over Dan’s frenulum, making him shudder.

“Think of it as a welcoming present.”

Phil took Dan’s cock fully in his mouth this time, and Dan felt his thighs tense as he gave into the sensation. Phil bobbed his head up and down a few more times, hollowing out his cheeks and making obscene sucking noises, before pulling off and reaching for the bottle of lube Dan hadn’t even noticed was on the bed. He popped it open and coated his fingers with it. Clicking it shut, he tossed it on the floor and pushed Dan’s knees apart, situating himself between them.

Sitting back on his heels, Phil slowly pushed a finger inside Dan, watching the boys face carefully for any signs of a negative reaction. Dan moaned and Phil took that as permission to add another finger, slipping it in alongside the first. Phil cupped Dan’s right ass cheek and lifted it slightly for better access. He pumped his fingers in and out of Dan, soon adding a third to the mix.

During all of this, Dan kept trying to touch himself, but Phil swatted his hand away every time.

“No.”

Dan whined and Phil placated him by surging forward and taking Dan’s cock in his mouth again. His movements shoved his fingers further into Dan, and Dan cried out as they brushed his prostate, sending shivers through him and causing him to writhe underneath Phil.

Once again, Dan reached for his cock, trying to wrap his fingers around the base where Phil’s mouth couldn’t quite reach, but Phil grabbed his wrist and held it down on the bed. 

Phil licked a stripe up Dan’s dick, and Dan used his free hand to grab at his hair. He bit his lip and looked down at Phil between his legs, his lids heavy and pupils blown wide, nearly eclipsing the deep brown of his eyes. Phil was bobbing his head enthusiastically and practically fucking Dan with his fingers, and Dan eventually had to close his eyes when the pleasure became too much.

Phil, satisfied that Dan was properly stretched, focused his attention back on his dick. Licking up his length a few more times before turning his attention back to the head, he swiped his tongue through the slit and Dan giggled, making Phil pause.

“Did you just giggle?”

Dan nodded, blushing as he bite his lip again.

“It just feels really good.”

Smirking, Phil brought his mouth back down, and lowered his head, carefully opening up his throat, until he felt his nose brush the thin wispy curls at the base of Dan’s cock. 

Dan’s eyes nearly rolled back into his head when he realized what was happening. Phil couldn’t hold his current position for very long, and he pulled off with a pop.

“What about that? Did that feel good?”

Dan nodded desperately, looking completely wrecked despite the fact that Phil hadn’t even fucked him yet.

Phil pushed down the front of his boxers and freed his aching cock from its confinement. Leaning over Dan, he reached forward to grab his dick, bringing it up to match his, beginning to stroke them both together. Lube mixed with spit to create a delicious slippery sensation, and Phil felt Dan’s dick twitch in his palm. Letting go, he moved to take Dan’s cock in his mouth again, but Dan stopped him.

“If you want this to last, I suggest backing off a bit.” He panted out.

“Right, sorry, got a little overenthusiastic there.”

Dan watched, stroking himself lazily as Phil sat back on his heels again, Dan’s legs resting on his thighs.

Taking a moment to admire Dan, with his ruffled hair, and red, kiss-bitten lips, Phil reached for the lube again, applying a generous amount to both his dick and Dan’s entrance.  
Phil scooted forward, and Dan planted his feet on the bed, lifting up his ass for better access. Phil planted an arm next to Dan and guided his cock to the boys hole. He inched it in slowly, holding onto Dan’s hip and gently pulling him closer. Dan stroked himself faster as Phil bottomed out and started thrusting. Dan moaned as Phil increased his speed to match Dan’s. Dan’s balls bounced helplessly as Phil gripped his hips and continued thrusting, filling the room with pants and the harsh sound of skin hitting skin.

Grabbing Dan’s wrists, Phil forced him up until he was sitting on his cock, Dan still fisting his own cock as he rode Phil’s. Phil gently pushed him back until he was supporting himself on the bed with his hands, Phil’s hand on his stomach as the older man fucked into him. Phil drew Dan closer, wrapping his arms around the boy and pulling him into a kiss before resting back on his elbows, allowing Dan to roll his hips, moaning as the angle caused Phil’s cock to brush his prostate.

Dan pulled Phil close and tried to kiss him again, but Phil pushed him back down onto the pillows and grabbed his hips, lifting them off the bed. Dan wrapped his legs around Phil, heels bumping against Phil’s back as he thrust into Dan at a faster pace. Dan’s hands were all over Phil’s body, running down his back, his sides, and eventually grabbing his ass. Phil halted his movements abruptly, much to Dan’s annoyance.

He pulled out, and Dan whined at the loss. Phil rolled Dan over onto his side, laying down next to him. Guiding his cock back into Dan, he grabbed onto Dan’s hip as he fucked into him. Dan’s hand instinctively went for his own cock, and Phil was momentarily too wrapped up in his own pleasure to notice.  
Dan bit his lip and let out a breathy moan as he swiped his finger through his slit. He felt Phil pull his hand away, making a small noise of protest. Phil placed Dan’s hand on his own hip and held it there, never slowing his thrusts.

He pulled out of Dan and rolled him over onto his back again. Sliding back into Dan, he threw his head back as he felt Dan’s hole practically sucking him in. Phil grabbed Dan’s hips and lifted his lower body off the bed, thrusting into him roughly. Dan lifted his arms and placed them against the headboard to stop his head from slamming against it. Phil noticed and slowed down slightly. He reached up and carefully brushed Dan’s fringe from his sweaty forehead.

“You can touch yourself now.” He murmured.

Dan dropped his hands and wasted no time wrapping his fingers around his aching cock. He felt it twitch at the contact, letting out a groan of relief as he began to stroke himself in time with Phil’s thrusts.

“Come for me.”

Dan’s toes curled as he came, hot spurts hitting his stomach. Swiping his finger through the mess, Phil brought it it Dan’s lips. Making a face, Dan took Phil’s finger in his mouth, sucking on it gently. Phil closed his eyes and growled softly, wanting to feel those lips around him.

Dan felt himself being pulled forward roughly, followed by the gentle pressure of Phil’s hand on the back of his head. Taking the hint, he enveloped the tip of Phil’s cock with his mouth, the velvet head hot against his plump lips. Dan looked up at Phil through his long lashes, face flushed a delicious shade of red, and Phil nearly came from the sight.

Dan allowed Phil to push his head down, and hold him there for a few seconds before releasing him. Phil repeated this a few times until Dan was gasping for air. Phil backed off and watched as Dan grabbed his cock, taking half in his mouth and pumping the rest with his hand. Phil couldn’t hold on any longer, and with a grunt he came in Dan’s mouth.

Dan swallowed him down, and pulled off with a pop. His ran his tongue around his lips, capturing any excess come. Exhausted, and sore, he lay down next to Phil.

“Wow.” Dan breathed.

“Wow.” Phil echoed.

“That was amazing.”

“Thanks, you weren’t too bad yourself.”

Dan wriggled around a bit to get comfortable, and winced slightly.

“Are you okay?” Phil asked, noticing his discomfort.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I just wasn’t expecting this much so soon.”

“Sorry, I had a really long day”

“Maybe you should have long days more often.”

“Maybe I should.”

Dan rolled over to face Phil, expecting some snuggling after the particularly intense sex.

“Can..can I be the big spoon?” He asked, hesitantly.

Phil rolled over and climbed off the bed, standing up quickly.

“I don’t cuddle.”

“You don’t cuddle?”

“No, I’m sorry, I need to go. This was…fun. We’ll go shopping tomorrow, yeah?”

Dan blinked owlishly at him before nodding.

“I’ll see you then. Goodnight Dan.”

Phil left the room, closing the door gently, leaving a very confused, and very tired Dan behind to wonder just what exactly he had gotten himself into.


	5. chapter four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sug·ar dad·dy  
>  _noun_  
>  a rich older man who lavishes gifts on a young recipient in return for company or sexual favors.  
> sug·ar ba·by  
>  _noun_  
>  the younger recipient of interest from a sugar daddy or sugar mama, especially financial and romantic in an inter-generational relationship  
>  _“At SeekingArrangement, users are on the same page. Forget reading in between the lines, our members know what they want. Users approach one another without worrying about false pretenses.” (excerpt from SeekingArrangement.com)_  
>  Dan Howell, age 19, and Phil Lester, age 28, meet online and enter into an “arrangement”, with Phil acting as a sugar daddy to a much younger Dan. They get along great, and the sex is phenomenal, but what happens what that stops being enough? Follow them through a whirlwind year as they dance the fine line between what is acceptable, and what they really want.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooh, we’re going shopping! with an unexpected bonus :o (updated every Monday/Wednesday/Friday)  
> [flat layout](https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B9A7bEFwW5EvQ2dVT1ZVSS1LeU0/view?usp=sharing)

After a week, Dan began noticing a pattern. Phil would come home from work, join Dan in his bedroom, leaving as soon as they were done. The sex was amazing, but Dan found himself craving more. He was also curious to see Phil’s room, but when he asked about it, he was quickly rejected. Dan knew he was being oversensitive, nowhere in their list of agreements did it say Phil had to tell him everything. This was Phil’s house, Phil could have secrets, just…it made a strange situation feel even stranger.

He tried to make himself feel better by reminding himself how lucky he was. Phil gave him everything he wanted. Well, nearly everything. What must Phil think of him? A whiny teenager who keeps trying to snuggle with him, like…well, like some kind of teenager.

God, this was all so frustrating.

Dan opened his laptop to do some online window shopping to distract himself, when it hit him.

He had money now.

Well, _he_ didn’t.

But he had money to _spend_.

Retail therapy didn’t have to mean filling up an online cart, checking the price, and closing the window quickly.

Retail therapy meant _shopping_.

 _Actual_ shopping.

In a _shop_.

He knew Phil would probably want to go with him, but Dan didn’t want to wait, figuring he would show Phil what he bought when he got back, and hopefully Phil wouldn’t mind.

Texting Phil to let him know he was going out, Dan left for his little adventure, already feeling ten times better about the situation.

As it turned out, Phil didn’t mind at all.

Dan guessed Phil would be in his office, and he knocked tentatively before opening the door.

“Oh, hey,” Phil smiled as he entered, “did you have a good shopping trip?”

Holding up his bags to show Phil, he nodded.

“Can I see what you bought?”

Dan nodded again.

“Shut the door, please.”

Dan set his bags down as he did, wondering what exactly was happening.

Phil sat back in his chair, waiting for Dan to begin.

Noticing the growing bulge in Phil’s pants, Dan swallowed thickly.

“What do you want me to do?”

“Just model for me.”

Dan pulled at the hem of his shirt.

“Do you want me to? Or…”

“You can do it, I’m fine just watching.”

Dan took his time undressing, and went crimson as he was very aware of Phil’s eyes on him. He wasn’t used to Phil seeing him naked like this, with the lights on, when he wasn’t  
laid out on the bed in complete control of how he looked.

Phil unzipped his trousers, palming himself before he pushed them down slightly and releasing his dick from his boxers. He began to stroke himself lazily as he watched Dan turn around slowly, showing off his new clothes.

Dan’s confidence grew as he continued modeling for Phil, and once he was finished he moved to put his original jeans back on, keeping one of his new shirts, a button down that he knew would become a quick favorite.

“No, keep them off.”

Dan dropped them back on the floor, standing in front of Phil wearing only his shirt and pants.

Phil patted his thigh.

“Come sit.”

Dan climbed onto Phil’s lap, grinding his ass against Phil’s erection.

“Pants. Off. Now.”

Dan stood up and shimmied out of his boxers before turning around and bending over. He wiggled his butt, and Phil gave it a light smack.

“Don’t be cheeky.”

Dan backed up and sat back down on Phil’s lap, his bare skin rubbing against Phil’s cock. Dan started to unbutton his new shirt, but Phil grabbed his wrist.

“Leave it on.”

“This is new, I don’t want to ruin it.” Dan whined.

“You can just buy another one, leave it on.”

“Phil, I swear to god I will climb off right now.”

Phil grabbed his shoulders.

“You wouldn’t dare.” he growled.

“Fine,” he sighed, “ just don’t get any come on it.”

“I won’t.” Phil promised, “I’m going to fuck you now, is that okay?”

Phil’s words went straight to Dan’s dick, and he nodded. He moved to turn around, but Phil grabbed his hips to stop him.

“Stand up a bit.”

Lining his dick up with Dan’s hole, he gently guided the boy backwards until he was sitting on Phil’s lap again.

Dan had stretched himself that morning, but no amount of fingers could prepare him for the feeling of Phil’s cock in his ass. Dan thought he would have grown accustomed to it  
by now, but it still surprised him every time.

“Let me know when you’re ready.”

Dan wiggled around a bit, teasing Phil, who responded by pulling Dan up and slamming him back down again, making Dan gasp.

“Do that again.” He pleaded.

Phil grasped Dan’s hips, holding them steady as he bounced Dan on his cock. Dan’s head lolled back, resting on Phil’s shoulder, his own cock sitting neglected, until he wrapped  
his fingers around it and started to stroke, trying to keep with Phil’s movements.

“Phil…I’m gonna…don’t want to…”

Phil wrapped an arm around Dan’s stomach, holding him in place. He reached back and grabbed a handful of tissues from the box on his desk, handing them to Dan. Dan pressed them to his tip and he stroked himself through his orgasm, soaking the tissues and leaving his shirt spotless.

“Thank you.” He panted out.

Phil didn’t answer as he lifted Dan off his lap, pushing him down until he was on the floor, his face pressed against the carpet and his ass in the air. He entered Dan from behind, the new angle causing him to hit Dan’s prostate with every deep thrust. Dan’s moans were muffled by the carpet, which Phil found hotter than he probably should have.

With one hand he pushed up the back of Dan’s shirt as he pumped himself with the other, alow moan escaping his lips as he released, splattering cum on Dan’s lower back.  
Grabbing Dan’s discarded tissue, he wiped the mess away, and tucked himself back in his trousers.

“See, what did I tell you? All clean.”

“That was the cleanest fuck ever.” Dan grinned.

“Well, you’re the one who insisted on it, I just wanted to screw you.”

“I knew you got off on this.” Dan said as he did up the button on his jeans.

“I never denied it.” Phil replied, settling back into his chair. Dan moved to sit on his lap again, but Phil gently pushed him off.

“I’ll come by in a few hours, okay?”

Dan nodded and left the room, closing the door behind him.

Later, Dan was filling his wardrobe and drawers with his new clothes when Phil appeared in his open doorway. He looked up from the shirt he was folding and smiled, expecting Phil to be here for…well…

“Dan? I have to go to New York for a week.”

Dan didn’t expect that, and he perked up.

“We’re going to New York?” He asked excitedly.

“No, just me.”

Dan deflated almost instantly. Trying to hide it, he laid the shirt down and went to hug Phil, who kissed his cheek.

“Bring me back something pretty?” Dan asked.

“Of course.”

Phil patted Dan’s head playfully, and left the room to go pack, leaving Dan alone once again.


	6. chapter five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sug·ar dad·dy
> 
> _noun_
> 
>  a rich older man who lavishes gifts on a young recipient in return for company or sexual favors.  
> sug·ar ba·by
> 
> _noun_
> 
>  the younger recipient of interest from a sugar daddy or sugar mama, especially financial and romantic in an inter-generational relationship  
>  _“At SeekingArrangement, users are on the same page. Forget reading in between the lines, our members know what they want. Users approach one another without worrying about false pretenses.” (excerpt from SeekingArrangement.com)_
> 
> Dan Howell, age 19, and Phil Lester, age 28, meet online and enter into an “arrangement”, with Phil acting as a sugar daddy to a much younger Dan. They get along great, and the sex is phenomenal, but what happens what that stops being enough? Follow them through a whirlwind year as they dance the fine line between what is acceptable, and what they really want.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When the Phil's away, well, Dan's gonna play  
> [flat layout](https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B9A7bEFwW5EvQ2dVT1ZVSS1LeU0/view?usp=sharing)

The week Phil was gone dragged by slowly for Dan. The first couple days were spent playing video games, but that quickly got old. He also tried exploring the house again, but he had pretty much covered everything his first day there. Out of curiosity, he tried the locked door again, but it still didn’t budge.

Ever since the first night, he had taken to sleeping in Phil’s bed. Dan didn’t exactly know why he was doing it, but he planned to stop as soon as Phil returned home. Louise had caught him one night, and shook her head as he tried to explain himself.

“I don’t even want to know, honestly.”

When he was in Phil’s bed, he slept so soundly, he didn’t even need the comforting light of his amber lamp. Phil’s room didn’t look anything like he had imagined it would. A stark contrast to the minimalist look of the rest of his flat, his room was bright and cheery. From the blue and green duvet on his bed to the vast array of plushies on the dresser, Dan almost couldn’t believe the room was really Phil’s. He had tried to ask Zoe about it, and then Louise, but they were both keeping mum.

“He’ll tell you in his own time.” Zoe had said.

Dan had huffed in annoyance.

“You two are so unhelpful.”

“We don’t work for you, dear.” Zoe had replied with a laugh.

Phil’s absence made Dan acutely aware of just how lonely he was. Not just for Phil, but for people, friends, in general.  
It hit him especially hard one night as he watched Louise and Zoe together. Anybody who saw them would immediately know they were the best of friends, and Dan felt a pang of jealousy. He has never had a best friend before, not really. He’d had friends, sure, even ones he considered his best, but it was never reciprocated.

Dan knew it was silly, but he considered Phil a friend. He knew Phil might not feel the same, but he didn’t seem to mind having Dan around, and that was enough for Dan.  
He knew Phil probably found it strange that he barely left the house, but Dan didn’t really like to, unless he was shopping or going out to eat, of course. He wasn’t the most social person, and he didn’t know anyone in the city. Well, not anyone who would want to see him.

Phil had his own set of close friends from his days at University that he saw frequently. He never invited Dan along, and Dan understood why. He wasn’t exactly a dirty secret, but it was obvious Phil wanted to keep some parts of his life separate.

So, Dan spent his days online, or playing games. He went shopping often, perfectly aware he was trying to fill a hole, and not really caring enough to stop. It dulled the ache, even if it was only temporary

Sex was another way he filled the hole. Before Phil, he used it to feel pretty, to feel special and wanted. His low self-esteem led him to settle for partners he didn’t exactly prefer, but that fulfilled his need for adoration.

Speaking of sex, Dan didn’t anticipate just how horny he would be without Phil. Regular sex had spoiled him, and going back to his hand was a definite downgrade, but he didn’t let that stop him.

Dan found himself getting off constantly, and he couldn’t sleep at night without a wank.

The first time he realized, he was in the shower. His thoughts were wandering, landing on Phil, especially the way he looked the last time they had slept together.

Something about getting it on in Phil’s office was extremely hot to Dan, and a fantasy began to form. He pictured himself in Phil’s office, his actual office, with people in it. People who could accidentally catch them. Dan’s cock, which had been hanging flaccid, began to harden. In his fantasy, he was hiding under Phil’s desk as Phil was…what did Phil do? 

Dan still wasn’t exactly sure, but in his daydream Phil had someone in his office, and Dan was hiding under the desk, sucking him off.

He thought about Phil trying to keep a straight face as Dan sucked on his balls, humming as he did so. He thought about biting the inside of Phil’s thighs, littering them with marks that he knew would look amazing against the pale white skin.

Dan’s hand had found it’s way to his dick, and was stroking it lazily as he fondled his balls with the other.

Different scenarios flashed through his mind. Phil fucking him in an office chair, bending him over a desk, pressing him up against a window for all of London to see.  
That last thought sent him over the edge, and he let out a loud moan as he came hard, splattering across his stomach as he leaned against the wall keep from falling over.  
He never thought of himself as an exhibitionist, but now he couldn’t stop thinking about it. 

Maybe Phil would let him try it some time.

The night before Phil was due home, Dan entered his room one last time. He was going to miss sleeping in there, but he definitely did not want Phil to know what he was doing, especially because it was one of the only things Phil had told him not to do. He felt bad disobeying Phil like this, but he was sure the man would never find out, especially since he had sworn both Louise and Zoe, Louise especially, to secrecy.

He snuggled against the pillow, breathing in the familiar scent as he felt himself beginning to drift off, a smile on his lips and Phil on his mind, unaware that he was already back.

Phil was exhausted when he returned home. He was a day early, and everyone else was asleep. He was glad because it meant he could go straight to bed.

The door to his room was slightly ajar. Phil cocked his head. Louise and Zoe were under strict orders to keep it closed at all times. Phil was a very private person, and he didn’t like people going in there. He pushed the door open with his fingertips and walked inside. There, wrapped in his duvet and snoring softly, was Dan.  
Phil frowned. He knew he should be angry with the boy, but he looked so peaceful sleeping there. His face was relaxed and he mouth was hanging open slightly. Phil reached out to brush his cheek, but pulled his hand back, not wanting to wake Dan.

Making a split second decision, he crawled into bed next to Dan. He was exhausted and would deal with this in the morning. The bed dipped under his weight, and the disturbance caused Dan to shift closer to Phil in his sleep. Phil held his breath, hoping he wouldn’t come any closer. Sharing a bed was bad enough, he didn’t want to end up accidentally cuddling. Phil gently pushed Dan over to the other side of the bed, and settled his head into his own pillow, wishing he had the bed to himself.


	7. chapter six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sug·ar dad·dy  
>  _noun_  
>  a rich older man who lavishes gifts on a young recipient in return for company or sexual favors.  
> sug·ar ba·by  
>  _noun_  
>  the younger recipient of interest from a sugar daddy or sugar mama, especially financial and romantic in an inter-generational relationship  
>  _“At SeekingArrangement, users are on the same page. Forget reading in between the lines, our members know what they want. Users approach one another without worrying about false pretenses.” (excerpt from SeekingArrangement.com)_  
>  Dan Howell, age 19, and Phil Lester, age 28, meet online and enter into an “arrangement”, with Phil acting as a sugar daddy to a much younger Dan. They get along great, and the sex is phenomenal, but what happens what that stops being enough? Follow them through a whirlwind year as they dance the fine line between what is acceptable, and what they really want.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> updated every monday, wednesday and friday  
> [flat layout](https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B9A7bEFwW5EvQ2dVT1ZVSS1LeU0/view?usp=sharing)

Waking up to an empty bed shouldn’t have been strange, except he could have sworn he remembered cuddling someone last night, and that someone was Phil. Dan brushed those thoughts away. Phil wasn’t due back from New York until tomorrow evening, he must have been dreaming.

Dan pulled on a pair of sleep pants and a t-shirt and padded his way to the kitchen in search of breakfast. Still half asleep, he grabbed a box of cereal and a bowl, both of which he nearly dropped when he turned around.

Phil was sat at the table, casually munching his own bowl of cereal, reading the news on his laptop.

“You’re home early.”

Phil looked up.

“Yes. My meetings finished ahead of schedule and I had nothing keeping me there, so I decided to come home.”

Dan’s mouth went dry.

“Was that you last night? In bed with me?”

“You mean in _my_ bed? Yes, that was me. I was hardly going to sleep somewhere else just because you decided to make yourself at home in my room.”

Dan blushed.

“I..I know you said it was off-limits, but I was having trouble sleeping, and it helped.”

“Sleeping in my bed helped you sleep? Why?” Phil asked curiously.

Dan shrugged.

“I don’t really know.”

“Will you be okay on your own now?”

Dan nodded quickly, still embarrassed he had been caught.

“Yes, I’ll sleep in my room tonight. I’m sorry about last night.”

“It’s fine, just don’t do it again, please.”

Dan nodded and turned away, trying to hide the flush creeping up his neck as he prepared his breakfast.

Phil was off to work early, as usual, so Dan once again had the day to himself.

Before he knew it, it was dark and he had spent most of the day playing Skyrim. Shit, Phil would be home soon and he wasn’t even ready. He debated whether or not he had time to shower. Doing nothing all day had left him feeling gross, and he hadn’t even bothered to get properly dressed, instead opting to lounge around his room and pajama pants and an old t-shirt.

After deciding that. yes, a shower was necessary, Dan stepped into the spray and sputtered as it hit him in the face. He found his mind wandering to Phil, just like last time. He stroked himself, imagining it was Phil’s hands on him instead. He brought his other hand to his mouth and stuck two fingers in, sucking on them until they were wet enough.  
Dan knew he should using lube, and that he would be sore later, but he didn’t really care.

He hissed as he pushed them in, pressing the thumb of his other hand into his slit as a distraction from the burn. Dan scissored his fingers some more as he pumped his cock until he felt himself starting to get close.

He pulled them out and wrapped his hand around the base of his dick, trying to stave off his orgasm. He hoped Phil would be home soon because he didn’t know how long he could last. He tried to imagine what would happen if Phil walked in on him wanking in the shower. Would he want to fuck Dan right then?

He didn’t know how people could find shower sex, well, sexy. It just seemed impractical to him, not to mention sort of dangerous.

He was lost in his thoughts when he heard the sound of his bathroom door being opened and he froze.

“Who’s there?” He called out.

Dan heard footsteps coming closer. He backed against the wall, still frozen as the person reached to pull the shower curtain back.

“Jesus Christ, Phil! You scared me!”

“I see you decided to start without me.”

Dan followed Phil’s gaze down to his crotch.

“I’ll be out in a minute.” He said, trying to pull the curtain shut, but Phil grabbed it. It was then Dan noticed that Phil was naked, his cock red and hard, already dripping with precum

Suddenly the thought of shower sex seemed _very_ appealing.

Phil stepped into the shower and pushed Dan against the wall, attacking his neck with kisses. He sucked a mark just above Dan’s collarbone, and Dan’s head fell back, nearly hitting the tiled wall behind him.

“What am I supposed to hold onto?”

Phil released the bit of skin he was nibbling and pulled back to look at Dan.

“What?”

“For shower sex. Aren’t you supposed to hold on to something?”

“Dan, we are not having shower sex. Do you want to slip and die?”

“But I thought–”

“That’s not to say,” Phil interrupted, “that we can’t still get off.”

Getting the message, Dan took a step forward until his chest was flush with Phil’s. He reached between them and began stroking Phil’s dick. Phil felt Dan’s cock brushing his stomach as Dan stroked him faster, and the stimulation made his toes curl. He had been thinking about Dan all day, fantasizing about what they would do when he got home, and he knew it wouldn’t be long.

Dan rubbed his finger over Phil’s frenulum, and it was over.

Dan wiped his hand on his stomach, smearing the cum that was already there, making a face.

“I thought showers were supposed to get you clean.”

Phil wiped Dan’s sticky stomach with the cloth before doing the same to himself.

“All better,” he said, tossing it to the side, “now, let me take care of you.”

Dan closed his eyes, expecting to feel a hand wrapping around his dick, but it never came. Instead, Phil dropped to his knees in front of him, grabbing his hips for stability.

Still holding on with one hand, Phil grabbed the base of Dan’s dick and brought the tip to his mouth. He flicked his tongue over the slit before taking all of it, hollowing out his cheeks, hands back on Dan’s hips now as Phil bobbed his head.

He looked up at Dan, and Dan nearly came from that sight alone. Something about Phil relinquishing his usual amount of control was extremely hot. Dan watched the way Phil’s lips were stretched around his cock as the water ran down his back and whined as he felt his orgasm approaching.

“I’m close.” He warned Phil.

Phil pulled off with an obscene pop, but made no move to stand up.

“I want you to come on my face.” He said hoarsely.

Dan couldn’t hide the shock that appeared on his face.

“What?”

“Please.” He begged, his breath coming in pants.

Dan couldn’t resist, and he pumped his cock faster until he came, covering Phil’s nose and mouth with thin white streaks. Phil smiled up at him and leaned his head back under the spray, allowing it to wash away the mess.

Turning off the water, he stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist. Grabbing a second one to wrap around his shoulders, he turned to face Dan.  
Dan stared at Phil like he couldn’t believe what he was seeing.

“What was that about?”

Phil shrugged as he wrapped a third towel around his hair.

“Try new things?” He said.

“You are so strange sometimes.”

“Aren’t you going to dry off?”

“I can’t, you’re using all my towels.”

“Oh, shit, sorry.”

Phil pulled the towel draped over his shoulders off and handed it to Dan.

“It’s a little wet.” He said apologetically.

Dan wrapped the towel around his waist. He fidgeted with it until he was sure it would stay on, and looked up when he felt Phil staring at him with dark eyes. Dan felt his mouth  
go dry under Phil’s intense gaze, his fingers gripping the hem of the towel.

Phil leaned in to kiss him, and Dan kissed him back until he made the mistake of looking up. He ducked his head as he started to giggle, and Phil looked hurt.

“I’m sorry!” Dan cried, wiping tears from his eyes, “I can’t take you seriously with that towel on your head.”

Phil yanked it off and shook his head, making Dan flinch as little drops of water hit him in the face.

“Is that better?” Phil asked, leaning in to kiss him again, and rubbing his hand on the front of the towel.

“I may still be a teenager, but there’s no way I can get it up again that quickly.”

Phil released Dan and stood back.

“Right, yeah.”

“Are you planning to walk through the house like that?” Dan asked, pointing at Phil’s towel.

“Oh, fuck.”

Dan giggled at Phil’s expression.

“Where are your clothes?”

“Outside your door, but I don’t really fancy putting those back on.”

“What are you gonna do?”

“I’m gonna make a run for it, meet me in the main room when you’re done?”

“It’s a date.” Dan grinned.

Phil laughed and pecked him on the cheek before hurrying across the house to his own room.

When Phil was out of sight, Dan closed the door and dressed quickly. He towel dried his hair and scowled as he caught sight of it in the mirror. He looked from his straighteners to the door and back again, trying to decide which was more important.

Phil was stretched on the couch with his feet up, working on his laptop when Dan finally emerged from his room. He sat next to Phil, who turned to him and raised his eyebrows  
slightly.

“Your hair’s curly.” He observed.

Dan patted it self-consciously, trying his best to make it less floofy.

“Uh, yeah, it is. It’s so late I didn’t want to bother with the straighteners again.”

“I like it. It suits you.”

“What are you talking about? It’s shit.”

“Your hair is not shit, Dan. I think it’s beautiful.” As if to prove his point, Phil reached out his hand and brushed a stray curl from Dan’s forehead, letting his fingers linger before pulling it back.

He moved his computer to the side and patted his lap.

“C’mere.”

Dan scooted over and laid his head on Phil’s lap, trying to hide the sigh of pleasure that threatened to pass his lips as Phil began stroking his hair. Dan’s eyes fluttered shut as he  
felt himself melt into Phil’s lap.

Phil closed his own eyes, enjoying the quiet moment and the feel of Dan’s soft hair.

Dan was feeling warm and content when he finally worked up the courage to ask the question that had been bothering him all week.

“Phil?”

“Yes?”

“Your room looks a lot different from the rest of your house.”

Phil’s hands left Dan’s hair as he pushed Dan off his lap, not harshly, but not gently either.

Dan turned around to look at him and saw that his mouth was set in a thin line.

“Yes. It does.” He said shortly.

“Why?” Dan pressed, oblivious to Phil’s annoyance

“I would prefer if you stayed out of there in the future.”

“What, are you hiding something?” Dan joked, trying to lighten to mood.

“No, but that’s my personal space and I would like it if you respected that. Please excuse me.”

Phil swung his legs off the footrest and stood up, not looking back as he walked off, shoulders tensed.

Dan watched Phil leave the room, and his stomach churned with regret. He didn’t blame Phil for not wanting to be around him when all he did was fuck up constantly.

Before he crawled into bed that night, he pulled his bear out of the drawer it was stashed in. He would die of embarrassment if Phil ever found it, but sometimes he just needed the comfort.

Phil peeked into Dan’s room, intending to apologize for earlier, but he saw the boy was asleep, a brown bear clutched close to his chest. He felt like he was intruding on a private moment, and he turned to walk away, taking one last look at Dan’s sleeping form before shutting the door.

“Goodnight, Dan.” he whispered, “I really wish I could tell you everything.”

(see y’all monday (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧)


	8. chapter seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sug·ar dad·dy  
>  _noun_  
>  1\. a rich older man who lavishes gifts on a young recipient in return for company or sexual favors.  
> sug·ar ba·by  
>  _noun_  
>  1\. the younger recipient of interest from a sugar daddy or sugar mama, especially financial and romantic in an inter-generational relationship  
>  _“At SeekingArrangement, users are on the same page. Forget reading in between the lines, our members know what they want. Users approach one another without worrying about false pretenses.” (excerpt from SeekingArrangement.com)_  
>  Dan Howell, age 19, and Phil Lester, age 28, meet online and enter into an “arrangement”, with Phil acting as a sugar daddy to a much younger Dan. They get along great, and the sex is phenomenal, but what happens what that stops being enough? Follow them through a whirlwind year as they dance the fine line between what is acceptable, and what they really want.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahh, domesticity (updated every monday/wednesday/friday)

Phil was gone by the time Dan woke up the next morning, and Dan was a bit glad. Yesterday had been a mistake, he knew asking would cross a line, yet he did it anyway. Phil had every right to be upset.

Despite everything, Dan slept surprisingly well, and was in a good mood for the rest of the morning. He was finishing his breakfast when he spotted Louise and Zoe walking out of Phil’s room holding baskets full of clothes. He jumped up, his plate forgotten on the table.

“Good morning you two!” He called.

“You’re awfully chipper this morning,” Louise said suspiciously, “what are you hiding?”

“Nothing,” Dan insisted. “I’m just happy to have some company. It gets kind of lonely here during the day.”

“You know you can leave the house, right? Go see your friends and such.”

Dan looked at the ground.

“I don’t really have many friends. Plus the ones I do have don’t know I’m doing this, they wouldn’t exactly approve.”

“You think they wouldn’t like Phil?”

“No, they would like Phil, it’s this arrangement they would have a problem with. They wouldn’t understand. Can I help you guys?”

Zoe raised a skeptical eyebrow.

“You want to help us do laundry?”

“I mean, it’s my laundry too, shouldn’t I be helping?”

Louise snorted.

“I don’t think that’s why Mr. Lester is keeping you around.”

“Please?”

“If you really want to, then go get the clothes from your room and meet us across the hall.”

Dan obeyed, and returned with an armful of clothes, mostly socks and underwear and pajamas, his new clothes were almost entirely dry clean only.

“I think that’s everything,” He said, dropping the pile onto the floor, “I can take care of these on my own.”

“Thank you for sparing us the chore of washing your pants.” Louise said dryly.

Dan looked worried that he said the wrong thing, until Louise smiled at him, showing that she wasn’t actually annoyed, and he felt relieved. The three of them fell into an easy silence, focusing on their little system that really did make the work go faster. Dan knew he was bordering on being annoying when he tried, yet again, to pump the two women for information.

“So do you guys know what’s in the room?”

“Yes.” They answered in unison.

“And you still aren’t going to tell me?”

“Nope.” Said Louise.

Zoe shot him a sympathetic look.

“It’s a very personal thing. I want you to understand that Mr. Lester doesn’t open up to a lot of people. The fact that he’s let you in as much as he has,” she shook her head, “it’s amazing.”

“So, he’s not normally like this?”

“Not with new people, no.”

“Oh.”

Dan felt slightly better knowing Phil liked him well enough to relax around him somewhat, and it very nearly made all the secrets okay. He started to get lost in his thoughts when he realized someone was speaking to him, and he looked up from the clothes he was sorting.

“What was that?” He asked.

“Well, you’re a million miles away, aren’t you?” Louise observed, “so, Dan, what’s your story?” She repeated.

“My story?”

“Your life story. We’ve got some time to kill, might as well get to know each other. You can go first.”

“Why me?”

“Because we don’t know anything about you, and we are very very nosy.”

“There’s not much to say. I grew up in Wokingham. I guess I had a pretty normal childhood. I was a theatre kid, I loved drama so much, I dreamed of becoming an actor but then I decided it wasn’t a practical career option. I decided to pursue a Law Degree, and I’m taking a year off before I do that.”

“Love,” Louise ventured, “forgive me for pushing too far, but why are you spending that time here, and not with your family back home?”

“Um…”

Her eyes widened as it clicked into place.

“Oh. Oh no. Oh, honey.” Louise dropped the pile of clothes she was holding, leaving Zoe scrambling to catch them.

It should feel weird to be hugged like this, by a near stranger, especially because Dan hated having his personal space invaded like that, but something about being hugged by   
Louise made him feel safe and protected. She gave off a very maternal vibe, and he leaned into the hug, until she released him with one final squeeze.

“I understand issues with family members, don’t worry.”

“My turn!” Zoe volunteered, salvaging the mood before it became too heavy. “I’m originally from Bath. I have a younger brother named Joe, who I’m very close with. He’s an actor, and he lives here in London with his roommate and best friend. Casper. I used to live in Brighton with my boyfriend, Alfie, but we moved here when I got this job working for Mr. Lester. It pays well enough that Alfie doesn’t have to work, but he has his little projects, and someone has to be home during the day to take care of our pets.” She laughed.

Dan perked up. He had always loved animals.

“What kind of pets do you have?”

“We have a pug named Nala, and two guinea pigs.”

“Wow, how did you manage to find a place in London that let you keep those?”

“It was very hard, but we pleaded our case to the landlord, and they let us keep them.” She smiled.

“I used to have a dog, before I left. I miss him a lot.” Dan said sadly.

Zoe looked sympathetic as she rubbed his arm.

“I’m so sorry, dear. I know how difficult it is to leave a pet behind. Maybe Mr. Lester will let you get a dog here.”

Dan looked around at the sleek, modern furniture of the lounge.

“I don’t think dogs are exactly allowed in this building.”

“I have a feeling Mr. Lester would give you most anything.” Zoe winked.

Dan blushed.

“I’m happy enough with all he’s given me so far, I really don’t want to push it.”

“Maybe you could come by my flat sometime and visit my pets, would you like that?”

“Oh yes, please.”

“Just let me know when you want to, and we’ll make plans.” She said.

Dan nodded in agreement, smiling now as he pictured himself doing so. He had never actually been around guinea pigs, the closest he ever came was a hamster who turned out to be much smarter than a regular hamster, and he eventually let it go. When he relayed this story, both women laughed along with him, the story was just so ridiculous it bordered on impossible, but Dan insisted there was no way he could make up something that strange.

Dan noticed Louise hadn’t actually shared anything, but he was familiar enough with uncomfortable pasts not to push it.

Phil gave them all a strange look when he returned home and saw them, all three of them, folding laundry on the formal table, but he decided against questioning it as he went to change before going to Dan’s room. Dan gave both women an apologetic smile before leaving for his room, and they both returned it with a suggestive wink. He went crimson as they giggled and waved him off.

That night in bed, Dan thought about his day, and how nice it ended up being. He knew it was strange because they worked for Mr. Le–Phil, but Dan felt like he had made two new friends, two good friends, and not even Phil leaving him in bed, once again, could deter the happiness that stemmed from that.


	9. chapter eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sug·ar dad·dy  
>  _noun_  
>  1\. a rich older man who lavishes gifts on a young recipient in return for company or sexual favors.  
> sug·ar ba·by  
>  _noun_  
>  1\. the younger recipient of interest from a sugar daddy or sugar mama, especially financial and romantic in an inter-generational relationship  
>  _“At SeekingArrangement, users are on the same page. Forget reading in between the lines, our members know what they want. Users approach one another without worrying about false pretenses.” (excerpt from SeekingArrangement.com)_  
>  Dan Howell, age 19, and Phil Lester, age 28, meet online and enter into an “arrangement”, with Phil acting as a sugar daddy to a much younger Dan. They get along great, and the sex is phenomenal, but what happens what that stops being enough? Follow them through a whirlwind year as they dance the fine line between what is acceptable, and what they really want.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> new chapters every monday, wednesday, and friday!

Phil pushed the door to Dan’s room open, wincing as it creaked softly, and padding across the floor to the bed as quietly as possible. He had been up since early that morning, working. Phil felt like he was always working. He didn’t mind it as much now, though, especially because he finally had someone to come home to at night.

Today, however, he just wanted to see Dan, which is why he had gotten up when he did. He stood in the doorway for a moment, taking in the sight before him.

Dan lay on his side, his long fringe falling across his face, fluttering slightly with every exhale. He looked so comfortable that Phil almost regretted waking him up.

Almost.

Phil climbed into bed next to Dan, reaching out a hand to stroke his cheek. Dan stirred, and Phil did it again, this time leaning in to kiss him softly, cupping his cheek and raising his head. Dan opened one eye, smiling languidly as he felt Phil’s lips brush his.

“Good morning.”

“Good morning,” Dan said, his voice still husky with sleep, “what time is it?”

“Just after nine.”

“Oh, okay.”

Dan let his head fall back onto the pillow as his eyes fluttered shut. Phil would still be in his bed when he woke up.

Wait.

Phil was in his bed.

Dan’s eyes snapped open, and he turned to look at Phil, who seemed to be enjoying his bewilderment.

“Awake now?”

Dan nodded slowly, and Phil brought his mouth to his ear.

“Can I suck you off?” He whispered.

Dan nodded again, still not completely awake, but unwilling to turn down the wake up call.

Dragging his lips down Dan’s neck until he reached his collarbone, Phil sucked a mark there before moving down Dan’s body, ghosting his lips down his chest and stomach. Phil stuck out his tongue and dragged it down, tracing the line between Dan’s navel and groin, his nose brushing the soft curls at the base of Dan’s dick, and he inhaled, growing harder with the scent of Dan’s arousal.

Dan watched him, wide eyed and panting softly.

Phil cupped Dan’s ass and just barely lifted him off the bed, before kissing the crease of Dan’s thigh, so tantalizingly close to Dan’s cock that he almost cried out in frustration.

“Phil…please…” He moaned.

Moving his head a hair to the left, he brought his lips to the spot just next to the base, holding them there, and looking up at Dan as he pulled left hand out from underneath him. In one fluid movement, he lifted his head and licked a stripe up Dan’s dick as it hit his palm, before wrapping his fingers around the top, peppering the base with kisses.

“Stop…teasing.”

“As you wish.”

Phil kissed the tip before taking Dan in his mouth, humming softly as he brought his head down.

“Oh god.” Dan breathed as he felt the vibration spread throughout his body, setting his nerves on fire as Phil dragged his head back up, his tongue against the prominent vein. 

Already feeling the heat pooling deep in his belly, Dan willed himself to last longer, he wanted to enjoy every second of this.

He propped himself up on his elbows, watching Phil work his cock. He alternated between bobbing and sucking, eyes closed in concentration.

Phil couldn’t take him very deep, but Dan honestly couldn’t give a shit at that moment. The only thing on his mind was Phil’s mouth; the way his tongue swirled around the head of Dan’s dick right before it swiped through the slit, collecting the precum beading at the top.

He didn’t know how he lasted as long as he did, but he was so close, so close that it took one finger brushing his dry hole to send him over the edge. His arms wobbled and gave out, his vision going blurry as he came. Phil didn’t pull off until he had swallowed every bit.

If it was possible for Dan to come a second time, he would have as he stared down at Phil between his legs, hair disheveled, looking thoroughly debauched. He caught his breath before sitting up slightly to reciprocate.

“Do you want me to–oh, nevermind.”

Phil glanced down at the wet spot underneath him on the bed.

“Oops.”

“I guess I have a reason to get out of bed now.”

“That was my plan,” Phil winked, pulling his pants back on, “now come one, let’s go eat. I want to take you out today.”

He tossed a pair of pajama pants and t-shirt and Dan, who dressed quickly, looking over at Phil in surprise.

“You don’t have to work?”

“Not right now.”

“Alright.”

He allowed himself to be dragged out of bed and led into the kitchen. Dan sat down at the table, still drowsy from his unconventional wake up call as Phil started opening cabinets.

“Toast or cereal?” He asked.

“Cereal, please.”

Phil prepared their bowls and sat them on the table, taking a seat next to Dan.

Phil’s phone rang as soon as he sat down and Dan’s stomach sank. He knew Phil would have to go into the office and their day was ruined. Phil looked at the screen and hit ignore.

“Can you do that?” Dan asked, surprised.

“Probably not, but I’ll call them back after we eat.”

Once they had finished, Phil excused himself and went into his office. Dan cleaned up the bowls, and went to find something to occupy him until Phil was finished.

He was in his browsing position on the couch when Phil walked back in.

“There’s no way that’s comfortable.”

Dan stuck out his tongue childishly.

“It’s extremely comfortable, thank you very much.”

“I’m hungry, are you hungry?”

Dan’s stomach picked that moment to grumble, as if to say “yes we are”, and Phil laughed.

“I don’t think we have anything in for lunch. Do you want to get something in town?”

Dan nodded.

“Yes, please.”

“Anywhere in particular?”

“Starbucks?

“Starbucks it is.”

“Get dressed and meet me downstairs.”

After lunch, they spent a significant amount of time walking around London. Phil regretted that he hadn’t had a chance to show Dan around sooner, and he made up for it that  
afternoon.

Dan walked by a shop window, pausing to admire display. Noticing his longing stare, Phil stopped as well.

“Do you want to go inside?”

Dan didn’t even look back as he entered the store, with Phil following close behind. Dan was in his element, he knew exactly what he was looking for, and Phil didn’t want to get in his way.

Dan had amassed an armful of clothes before he decided he was ready to try them on. Phil followed him into the dressing room, and Dan turned around in surprise.

“What are you doing?” He hissed.

“I just want to see how they look.” Phil said, feigning innocence.

“I’m not having sex with you in here.”

Phil lifted the clothes from Dan’s arms and sat them on a chair. He slipped his fingers into the belt loops of Dan’s jeans and pulled him forward.

“Are you sure?”

“At least not until I see how these jeans look.” He smirked.

Phil watched, impatiently as Dan took his time, perfectly aware that he was teasing Phil. He pulled off the last pair, taking his boxers with time, and Phil all but launched at him.

He reached into the pocket of Dan’s jeans and pulled out a packet of lube.

“How did you know that was in there?” Dan asked.

“Because I know you.”

“Well, hurry up.”

Bending over, Dan braced himself on the bench in front of the mirror.

Phil coated his fingers, and slipped two at once into Dan, holding them still for a moment, letting Dan adjust, before sliding them in and out, scissoring them as Dan moaned beneath him. Once he was satisfied, Phil pulled them out and lined the head of his cock up with Dan’s hole. He tried to push in slowly, but the sight of Dan in the mirror made the temptation too much, and he slammed all the way in, confident Dan could take it.

“Open your eyes.”

Dan did as Phil said, and felt himself grow harder at the sight of Phil behind him, still fully dressed with his trousers unzipped and pulled halfway down his thighs, thrusting into him. Dan was completely naked, and the fact that it was so taboo made it even hotter.

Phil leaned forward so his front was flush to Dan’s back, holding himself up on one arm, and reaching underneath Dan to stroke his cock in time with his own thrusts. Dan bit his lip and tried to shut his eyes.

“I want you to see yourself.”

Phil’s face was scrunched up in pleasure as he worked to contain his grunts. His hair was starting to fall down, covering his forehead. Dan saw that his own hair was starting to  
curl at the ends, and he hoped Phil wouldn’t notice.

Dan’s arms finally gave out and he dropped to his knees, resting his head on the chair as he panted heavily. Phil zipped up his pants and carefully helped Dan to stand.

“Get dressed, they’re probably wondering why we’re taking too long.”

It finally hit Dan just what exactly they had done, and he dropped his head into his hands.

“Oh god, oh god, we can never go to this shop again.”

“I’m sure we aren’t the first people to do that in there. Now get dressed.”

Dan sorted his own clothes from the pile on the floor, pulling them on quickly.

“Is there anything you liked?” Phil asked, gesturing to the pile.

“Uh, yeah, hang on.”

He dug through, taking out two shirts, a jacket, and a pair of jeans. They decided to leave separately, to avoid suspicion. Phil went to go pay for the clothes, and Dan took the  
opportunity to sort out his appearance. He smoothed down his hair, and sighed when he realized there was nothing he could do about the flush of his cheeks. He crept out of the room to join Phil, avoiding eye contact with the assistant.

Phil held the door open for Dan as they walked out.

“Come again, gentlemen!” The shop assistant called.

“Don’t worry, we will!” Phil called back.

Dan batted his arm.

“Phil!”

Dan walked ahead of him, glancing around at the surroundings, swinging his bags. He looked so innocent, Phil almost didn’t believe he was the same boy he had just screwed in a  
shop.

Dan stopped and turned around to face Phil.

“I’m hungry.”

“Is that your way of saying you want to go out for dinner?”

“Please?”

He let Dan pick the restaurant, and Dan picked on that turned out to be his favorite. They were seated quickly, and Phil ordered for both of them, a routine they had slipped into.  
When their food arrived, Phil was tempted to dive straight in, but he managed to hold himself back. Dan was taking small tentative bits, watching Phil.

Phil froze as he felt Dan’s foot graze his crotch.

“Dan, what are you doing?”

“Me? I’m not doing anything.” He said, as he pressed his foot down.

There was a dangerous glint in Dan’s eyes, and Phil knew he was horny again.

“We could go to the bathroom.” Dan suggested.

“I think one public fuck is enough for today.”

He pouted, but removed his foot.

“Just wait until we get home.” Phil said, and Dan nodded, buzzing with anticipation as he tried to concentrate on finishing his meal.

Later that night, Dan was on his knees with a mouthful of dick when Phil’s phone rang. He grabbed it from his bedside table, and Dan moved to pull off. Pressing a button, he motioned for Dan to continue.

Dan only heard Phil’s side of the conversation, but it sounded important, he was surprised, and a little insulted, that Phil could even form a coherent sentence right now. Phil bit his lip as he came into Dan’s mouth, desperately trying to conceal his noises from the person on the other end. Dan swallowed him down, working to get every last drop, and pulling off just as Phil hung up. Dan looked up at him and licked the excess come off his lips, and he noticed Phil was smiling.

“Well, Dan, how would you like to go to Japan?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i couldn't resist okay i am japhan trash


	10. chapter nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sug·ar dad·dy  
>  _noun_  
>  1\. a rich older man who lavishes gifts on a young recipient in return for company or sexual favors.  
> sug·ar ba·by  
>  _noun_  
>  1\. the younger recipient of interest from a sugar daddy or sugar mama, especially financial and romantic in an inter-generational relationship  
>  _“At SeekingArrangement, users are on the same page. Forget reading in between the lines, our members know what they want. Users approach one another without worrying about false pretenses.” (excerpt from SeekingArrangement.com)_  
>  Dan Howell, age 19, and Phil Lester, age 28, meet online and enter into an “arrangement”, with Phil acting as a sugar daddy to a much younger Dan. They get along great, and the sex is phenomenal, but what happens what that stops being enough? Follow them through a whirlwind year as they dance the fine line between what is acceptable, and what they really want.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> updated every monday, wednesday, and friday!

Dan couldn’t help but notice that travel seemed to make Phil particularly cranky. He didn’t blame him, the flight was long, and they had stayed awake for most of the flight, only allowing themselves small naps, so that Phil would be able to keep up with his work schedule while he was there.

It was 6 at night when they arrived, and they immediately headed for the hotel, too tired to consider doing anything else.

Dan hung back as Phil checked in, wondering just what the people thought of him, young and timid, accompanying an older man to a foreign country. He was sure it wasn’t good.

After a minute, Phil beckoned him over and they headed up to their room.

Phil swiped the keycard, and opened the door, stepping inside and sighing in exasperation.

“I specifically asked them for two beds.”

Dan followed him into the room, taking note of the large bed

Dan was trying his best not the eavesdrop, but he couldn’t help overhearing Phil on the phone, muttering in Japanese. It sounded like the person on the other end was getting chewed out pretty badly.

Phil didn’t usually get angry at people, but he seemed really adamant about not sharing a bed. This bothered Dan sometimes, it made him feel like a cheap whore when Phil fucked him senseless and then left for his separate bedroom, refusing even a quick cuddle.  
He had tried to ask Louise about Phil one time, but she refused to gossip.

“I’m sorry, love,” she had said, gently, “but Mr. Lester is a very private person. If he wants to tell you something, he will. I respect him too much to spill his secrets. So does Zoe, so don’t go trying that.”

Dan tried to protest, but she had stared him down.

“I know you, Howell. I know you’re nosy, but you’ve got to let him come to you.”

In the end, he had gone to Zoe, but she had told him the same thing as Louise.

He was brought back to the present by Phil’s angry huff as he hung up his phone.

“What did they say?” Dan asked, tentatively.

“All of their rooms are full. I can’t believe this, I specifically asked for two beds.”

“It’s okay, I can take the couch if you want.”

Phil looked at him.

“What? No, don’t be ridiculous. We’ll have to share.”

Dan froze. They hadn’t slept in the same bed since the night Phil has come back from New York early, and Dan hadn’t even been awake to enjoy it.

Putting aside his annoyance in favor of sleeping, he climbed into bed, motioning for Dan to do the same. Phil felt himself fall asleep as soon as he head hit the pillow, but Dan was not so lucky. He tossed and turned, shaking the bed and waking up Phil, who, huffing in frustration, turned on the light and sat up, staring down at Dan.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m afraid of the dark.” Dan admitted.

“How do you normally sleep?”

“I have a light in my room. And an amber lamp from Morocco. It helps me sleep.”

Phil considered this for a moment, before remembering something.

“I don’t have a lamp.”

“What?”

“I don’t have a lamp in my room; how did you sleep there?”

“Because it was your bed.” Dan said, blushing.

Phil’s eyes widened and Dan held his gaze steadily, daring him to look away. Phil reached over and flipped the light back off. He lay back down on the bed, opening up his arms.

“Come here.”

“But…”

“Come here. I have a long day tomorrow, and I can’t have you interrupting my sleep. Come here.”

Dan scooted over to Phil’s side of the bed, and let himself be enveloped. He felt Phil’s nose brush the back of his neck, and he sighed in contentment. It wasn’t hard to fall asleep wrapped in Phil’s arms, and Dan drifted off quickly, leaving Phil awake to contemplate his current choices, and their possible consequences.

Most of Dan’s week was spent with Duncan and Mimei, two of Phil’s friends who had volunteered to show Dan around the city.

Each day was spent in a different district, and Dan was having the time of his life. They did plenty of exploring, and Dan did plenty of shopping.

Dan spent so much money at one shop that he got a free Free! tissue box. Dan worried the abundance of things he bought might be a little hard to explain to Phil, especially because Dan knew he probably had no idea what half of it was, but it was worth it.

Duncan and Mimei even took him on a day trip to go see Mt. Fuji. Dan was disappointed Phil couldn’t join them, but he still managed to have one of the best days on the entire trip. He even bought a can of mountain air, a silly indulgence, but he knew Phil wouldn’t mind.

Speaking of Phil, Dan only saw him at night, when he returned to the hotel, tired and stressed, greeted by a waiting Dan. Hotel sex was growing on Dan as they experimented with nearly every surface in the small room. Phil would fall asleep almost immediately after, Dan still in his arms. Dan tried not to overthink it, choosing instead to enjoy it while it lasted.

When week was over, and Dan felt a little sad. Japan had been a dream trip of his ever since he was young, and part of him didn’t want to leave. He contemplated asking Phil if they could extend the trip, but he knew they needed to get back. Dan had settled into his browsing position, absentmindedly scrolling through tumblr, when Phil flung the door open dramatically, making him jump.

“You’re early.” He said.

“It’s our last night in Japan, let’s go out.”

“Where?”

“I’m sure we can find a place. Now get dressed!”

30 minutes later they were dressed and strolling through the busy street when Dan stopped abruptly.

“Phil, look! A real Japanese karaoke bar!”

“Do you want to check it out?”

“Hell yeah!”

Grabbing Phil’s hand, he dragged him towards to entrance. Phil was so caught up in Dan’s excitement that he didn’t even think about pulling away, allowing himself to be pulled forward, squinting as they approached the bright lights adorning the windows.

They settled in with their drinks, watching the other people making fools of themselves on stage. A few were actually decent, but most, all of them tourists, were terrible.

“What song are you going to sing?”

“Toxic.”

“The Britney Spears song?”

“It’s my go to.”

Dan downed his drinks quickly, not refusing when more were placed in front of him. Phil wanted to say something, but he refrained.

Before long, it was Dan’s turn, and Phil watched him as he walked onto the stage, looking surprisingly comfortable and confident. And very, very drunk.

Phil was surprised to find out Dan could actually sing, and sat back to enjoy the performance until Dan got a little too into the act and started unbuttoning his shirt. He hurried up the stage just as Dan was trying to remove his pants, and dragged him off and out of the bar.

“Phiiiiil, where are we going?”

“Back to the hotel.”

Aaare you gonna fuuuuck me?” Dan slurred.

“No, Dan.”

Dan pouted.

“I’m not sexy? I’m not fuckable enough?”

Phil sighed in exasperation, and scooped the boy up, a difficult feat considering his height.

“But Phiiiiiiil,” Dan giggled as he poked Phil’s nose, “don’t you know that you’re toxic?”

With one hand, he hailed a taxi, and deposited Dan in the back. He went to sit in the front seat, catching sight of Dan in the rearview window as he slumped over and began   
snoring softly.

The trip to the hotel room proved to be more difficult, Dan was much heavier now that he was asleep, and Phil’s arms were shaking by the time he got to the door. Dan woke up just long enough to let Phil slide the key card, and guide him inside.

Dan stood, swaying slightly in the middle of the room as Phil went to grab a trash can, just in case.

Walking out of the bathroom just in time to see Dan collapse face down on the bed in just his pants, Phil sighed as he rolled the boy over, scooping him up, bridal style, and carrying him to his side of the bed. Phil laid him down gently, tugging at the covers until he was underneath.

Looking over at Dan’s sleeping form, watching the way his chest rose and fell with every breath, Phil was tempted to reach out and touch, to stroke the hairless chest of the boy next to him, but he stopped himself. Dan was currently dead to the world, and Phil was already feeling like enough of a creep, sitting and staring the way he was.

Unable to resist, he reached out and pulled the boy close to him. Dan mumbled incoherently in his sleep, snuggling into Phil’s chest. His eyelids fluttered, and for a moment it seemed like he would wake up. Phil held his breath until he felt Dan relax on top of him. Once that tense moment passed, It didn’t take long for him to fall asleep, Dan’s steady breathing and warm weight lulling him.

The next morning, Dan was pulled violently from his sleep by Phil.

“Good morning! Rise and shine! We have a flight to catch!” Phil shouted, smirking at Dan as he burrowed further under the under the covers.

Showing no mercy as he ripped them off to reveal a very grumpy and very hungover Dan, Dan flinched as the bright lights hit him and he covered his face with his hands.

“Why did you have to book the flight so early?” He groaned.

“Why did you have to get so drunk last night?” Phil retorted.

“It’s not my fault,” Dan whined, “I’ve never had sake before.”

“After your little performance, I don’t think you should have it again.”

The flight home was just as bad. Dan wanted to sleep the entire time, but Phil had a schedule to return to.

They returned home bleary-eyed, and ready for bed.

“Well, I’m going to go sleep for a million years.” Dan said.

Phil nodded drowsily in response.

“Phil?”

“Yeah, Dan?”

“Thanks for taking me. I had a really great time.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Goodnight, Phil.”

“Goodnight, Dan.”

Phil watched as Dan retreated to his own room. He half considered following the boy, but changed his mind. With one last look at Dan’s closed door, he made his way to his own room, the memories of their nights in Japan burned into his brain.


	11. chapter ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sneaky Daniel is sneaky :o

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> updated every monday, wednesday, and friday!

Dan had a hard time adjusting to home life after Japan, but he didn’t realize just how bad it was until the night after they got back. Phil had taken yet another day off, citing jet lag recovery. That evening, he told Dan he was too tired to do anything, and walked into his room, Dan trailing behind. They were almost through the doorway when Phil stopped abruptly, Dan crashing into him. He hurried to steady himself, blushing furiously.

“Dan, what are you doing?”

Dan froze.

“I just thought…in Japan we…”

Phil realized what Dan was implying, and decided he needed to be firm.

“Dan, we’re home now. I would prefer if you went back to sleeping in your own room.”

“Oh.” Dan said, his voice small.

“I’m sorry, I thought you understood that was temporary.”

“No, yeah, of course. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

He walked off quickly, tears prickling in the corners of his eyes.

Oblivious to Dan’s reaction, Phil walked back into his room. He undressed and collapsed into bed, unaware of the pain he had caused.  
Dan didn’t cry, he didn’t cry. Much. He was crazy to think Japan meant anything, and he cursed himself for being so stupid. Phil only let him do it because it was easy, because Dan needed it to sleep, because he was there, because they were somewhere different. Home meant separation, home meant the return to routines and secrets and doors locked tight.

That damn door was going to be the death of Dan. It was right across the hall, he could see it from his bed, as it sat there, teasing him.

“Open me, Dan”, it said, “open me, Phil doesn’t have to know”. And Dan tried, he tried so hard, but it was no good, so he devised a plan.

He decided to put his plan into action that afternoon, but Phil had other ideas.

He cornered Dan in the kitchen as Dan was fixing himself a snack, and sat down at the table, waiting patiently for Dan to join him. Dan had only just sat down when Phil started in.

“When we first talked, you mentioned you were taking a gap year before you went off to University.”

“Yeeeaah.” He said slowly, wondering where Phil was going with this.

“Have you decided where?”

“Actually, I don’t know if I’m planning to anymore. Besides, I can’t afford it.”

“I would pay, obviously.”

Dan pulled at a string on the sleeve of his sweatshirt, not meeting Phil’s eyes.

“I don’t know if I’m exactly cut out for it though.”

“It’s important to have something to fall back on,” Phil reminded him, “this isn’t exactly a permanent solution.”

Dan wrapped the string around his finger and watched as the tip slowly turned purple. He knew deep down it wasn’t, but hearing Phil say it out loud…

“Fine,” he muttered, “I’ll look into it.”

The string snapped, surprising them both.

“Are you okay?” Phil asked.

“I’m old enough to make my own decisions you know.”

“I…I thought I was helping…”

“Well you weren’t”

Dan shoved his chair back harshly and stalked off, snack left forgotten on the table.

Waiting a bit to let him cool down, Phil went to Dan’s room to apologize, and found him hanging a picture on the wall, wearing only pair of sweatpants, hung dangerously low. Phil felt his breath hitch as he watched them slip further down Dan’s hips as Dan lifted his arms to straighten the painting.

“Why aren’t you wearing a shirt?”

Dan didn’t turn around as he shrugged, a smug smile playing on his lips.This would be too easy.

“It was warm in here. Why, is it bothering you?”

“Not in the slightest.” Phil answered as he quickly closed the distance between them.

Phil’s arms snaked around Dan from behind as he slipped his hand inside Dan’s baggy track bottoms. He huffed a laugh into Dan’s neck when he realized the boy wasn’t wearing any pants.

“You are such a little tease” He growled as he wrapped his fingers around Dan’s aching cock, slowly dragging them upwards, smiling in satisfaction as Dan let out a moan at the contact. 

He increased his speed as he felt Dan shudder underneath his touch, and he grabbed Dan’s hip with his other hand. Pulling him back, Phil pressed his erection into the curve of Dan’s ass, eliciting another low moan.

“Do you want me to fuck you?”

Dan closed his eyes and nodded, leaning his head back to rest on Phil’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you.”

“Please.” Dan whispered.

“Louder.”

“Phil, please. Please fuck me.”

Dan whined as Phil pulled his hand out and moved it to Dan’s other hip. Gripping tightly, Phil spun him around and pushed him against the wall, quickly stripped Dan of his sweats, exposing his cock to the air.

“Phil?”

“Hmm?”

“I think you’re a little over-dressed for this.”

“Oh, right.”

Phil unbuttoned his shirt and slipped it off his shoulders before tossing it to the side. It landed on an unknown spot on the floor, and was soon joined by Phil’s trousers and pants. Dan watched as he pulled off his socks.

“Why don’t your socks match?”

“You’re really looking at my socks right now?”

“Why, where am I supposed to be looking?” Dan smirked.

“Shut up.”

Phil pressed himself into Dan, bracing himself on the wall with his hands on either side of Dan’s head. He ground his hips against Dan’s, and Dan moaned as Phil’s cock brushed against his, warm and hard.

Dan was still a little upset from their conversation that morning, but he didn’t let that deter him from his mission.

Okay, so maybe seducing Phil to get information was a little cliche, but, hey, Dan never claimed to be original.

Phil didn’t even question why there was a bottle of lube on the windowsill, too preoccupied with what those lube covered hands were about to do.

Dan wrapped his hand around both cocks and stroked upwards, gradually increasing his speed. He was so caught up in his task, he didn’t notice a second hand joined in, working to match his rhythm.

Dan opened his eyes. The look on Phil’s face was intoxicating, his hair was falling into his face, his cheeks were flushed, and Dan was sure if he opened his eyes, they would be dark, pupils blown wide with lust. His neck was exposed, and Dan longed to mark it up, to litter the pale skin with purple blotches, to lay some sort of mark on Phil. Dan nearly stopped right there, where had that come from? Phil was the dominant one, Phil laid out the rules, but suddenly Dan was overcome with the desire to switch it up a little.

He let go of their cocks and pushed Phil away. Phil looked confused, but went along with it as Dan continued pushing him until the back of his knees hit the bed. Dan shoved him down, and Phil scrambled up the bed on his elbows. He was not expecting this, and he wanted to see what Dan was trying to do.

Whatever he was anticipating, it was definitely not what happened next.

Dan climbed onto the bed and knelt in between his legs. Phil was still propped up on his elbows, and he watched as Dan lowered his head, and kissed a spot on Phil’s inner thigh. He started to suck a mark before he realized he should probably ask for permission. He looked up at Phil, who was still regarding him with interest.

“Can I?”

“Go crazy.”

He sprinkled the inside of Phil’s thighs with light kisses, reaching up to grab Phil’s cock, stroking it quickly as he sucked a mark onto the pale flesh, pulling his head down slightly to watch it bloom, angry and purple. He moved quickly, marking Phil’s thighs so much that Dan was sure Phil would feel them for days.

Dan bit down on the sensitive skin and felt Phil’s cock convulsing under his fingers, warm liquid spilling down his hand and onto Phil’s stomach. He kissed the rapidly reddening mark, and sat up on his knees. Dan grabbed his own dick, pressing down on the slit until he was coming as well, his own release joining Phil’s.

Leaning down, he lapped it up, looking up at Phil as he did so. Phil looked so strung out, so thoroughly ravished that Dan couldn’t help but feel proud of himself. He swallowed before kissing his way back up Phil’s body, stopping to rest his head on Phil’s chest. Still dazed and breathing heavily, Phil gingerly wrapped his arms around Dan.

“What…the hell…was that?”

“Sorry, I wanted to try something new.”

“Let’s try new things more often.”

“Speaking of trying new things…”

“Hmm?”

“Can I see it?”

“I think you saw it plenty, Dan.”

Dan rolled his eyes.

“I don’t mean that.”

“What do you mean then?”

“The room.”

“The room?”

“The one across the hall.”

“Dan…”

“Do you really blame me for being curious? It’s right there, I have to see it every day and it’s started taunting me.”

Phil chuckled.

“It’s taunting you?”

“Yes,” Dan pouted, “it keeps telling me to open it. You really should listen to it.”

“Shouldn’t I be more concerned that I have talking doors?”

Dan reached out to shove Phil, but Phil grabbed his arm and pulled him close. He ran his other hand through Dan’s hair running down Dan’s cheek, stopping at Dan’s chin and   
lifting it up. He looked into Dan’s eyes, and Dan tried keep a poker face, no need to let Phil know just how eager he really was.

“Okay.”

Dan was surprised, he hadn’t expected it to be that easy.

“Okay?”

“Yes, okay. If you really want to see, we can check it out tomorrow night.”

Phil swung his legs to the side and set his feet on the floor.

“Oh, and Dan?” He said, twisting his body slightly to look at the boy, “As much fun as this was, next time you have a question, just ask, okay?”

“Okay.”

Phil kissed Dan on the forehead and stood up to leave, but Dan didn’t mind as much as usual. He was finally going to get the answers he was looking for, finally going to find out what was behind that door.

He hoped it wasn’t too weird.


	12. chapter eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> finally, am i right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> updated every monday, wednesday, and friday

Dan stumbled out of his room, half asleep, looking forward to his Lucky Charms and spending the day in his pajamas when he crashed into Phil.

“Good morning,” Phil smiled, as he caught him and helped him stand upright again, “are you ready?”

Dan blinked drowsily and yawned, his tired brain sluggishly working to figure out what exactly Phil was talking about.

“Hmm?”

“You wanted to see the the room.”

“Room?”

Phil pointed to the door across from Dan’s.

Room. Room. What was that about a–

“Oh! The room. I thought you said tomorrow _night_.”

“I did.”

“Then what are you doing?”

“I was coming to wake you up.”

“Yes, but why?”

“Couldn’t wait.”

“Do you ever actually go into work?”

“Not if I can help it.”

“Can I eat breakfast first?”

“Oh, right, that’s important.”

“Some people even say it’s the most important meal of the day.”

All the through breakfast, Phil gave off a nervous energy, and Dan began to worry. Was the room really that bad?

Once Dan finished his cereal and placed his bowl in the sink, he felt himself being pulled forward as Phil grabbed his hand and led him to the room he had been thinking about   
ever since his first day in the house. Phil stopped outside the door, his face a mixture of fear and excitement.

“Can I trust you?”

“Phil, you’re being weird.”

“Can I trust you?”

Dan wanted to make a joke, to relieve the tension he was feeling under Phil’s intense stare. Did he trust Phil? Well, obviously. Sort of. Maybe? Phil had never given him any reason   
not to, not really, but the question still threw Dan. In the end, his curiosity won.

“Yes.”

Phil smiled and reached into his pocket for the key. He inserted it into the lock and turned it slowly, looking back at Dan.

“Are you ready?”

“You’re giving off a bit of a Christian Gray vibe here.”

“Who?”

“He’s a…it’s a….nevermind. So, what’s behind the mystery door?“

"See for yourself.”

It was…well it was the room of his dreams, it was the room of any nerds dreams, really. He didn’t know where to look first.

It looked like any regular lounge, except for the fact that it looked like it belonged to a 19 year old uni student, and not a 28 year old CEO.

As tempted as he was to explore every inch, Dan decided to save his full exploration for another day. Right now, he just wanted answers.

“Phil! This is amazing! Why the hell have you been keeping this a secret?”

“I have my reasons. I like to keep this separate from my regular life.”.

“But, why?” Dan pressed, “why do you hide this part of you?”

Phil shook his head.

“Not now. Right now I just want to spend time with you.”

Dan nodded. He could respect that.

“Okay, what did you have in mind?”

“How about a game of Mario Kart?”

“Oh, I am totally going to kick your ass, old man!” 

“Are you?”

“You have no idea. I am awesome at it.“

"I think you’ll find I have a few years of practice on you.”

“Doesn’t matter, I’ll still beat you.”

“So cocky,” Phil chuckled, “do you want to make this interesting?”

“How?”

“Strip Mario Kart.”

"I can honestly say I’ve never played that. And I can’t really picture you playing it either.”

“Well once we’re done, you won’t have a choice.”

“Alright, so what are the rules?”

“Basically, every time you lose a round, you lose an item of clothing.”

“That’s it?”

“There’s a more complicated version, but since there’s just the two of us…”

“And you have ulterior motives.”

“Do not.”

“Whatever you say.” Dan snickered.

Dan lost his shirt in the first round, and Phil whipped his head to look at him, confused.

“I thought you said you were awesome at this game.”

“I am.”

“Then why are you losing?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Dan smirked.

Phil hadn’t considered the fact that Dan was still in his pajamas. His pajamas that consisted of only a shirt and a pair of sweats, and the shirt was already off. Dan was very nearly at the finish line, with Phil right behind, and he suddenly slowed down, letting Phil pass him.

“Oops.”

“You did that on purpose.” Phil accused.

“Why would I do that?” Dan asked innocently as he slipped off his sweats and sat back down next to Phil.

Phil bit his lip when he saw Dan was already half hard.

“Does this mean the game is over?” He asked.

“Nope, you still have your clothes on.”

“But that doesn’t make any–”

“Shh, don’t question it.”

“Wasn’t I the one who suggested this? Shouldn’t I be the one changing the rules?”

“But where’s the fun in that?”

Dan beat him easily in the next round, and he smirked as Phil pulled his shirt off and tossed it aside. Dan made no effort to hide that fact that he was checking Phil out, and Phil felt Dan’s eyes on him as he prepared for the next round.

The sexual tension crackled between them, as Phil tried to ignore the very naked Dan next to him and focus on the game, but Dan leaned forward, exposing his ass slightly, and Phil broke.

Setting the controller down, he tackled Dan backwards onto the floor, capturing his mouth in a kiss. Dan let out a muffled noise and dropped his own controller in surprise as Phil   
climbed on top of him, rubbing his clothed erection over Dan’s naked one.

Phil sat back on his knees and unbuttoned his jeans, pushing them down along with his boxers. He stood up quickly to pull them all the way off, and leaned back down to Dan.

“Want you to ride me.” He whispered into Dan’s ear, as he sat down on the floor pulling Dan into his lap. Phil reached past Dan to retrieve a bottle of lube hidden in the couch   
cushion.

“Why do you even have that in here?”

“For emergencies.”

“What kind of emergencies?”

“Sex related emergencies.”

Dan rolled his eyes and snorted.

“Jesus, Phil, this isn’t a bad porno.”

“It didn’t sound quite so weird in my head.”

“Trust me, it should have, now hand me the bottle.”

Phil watched as Dan’s lubed up fingers slid in and out of him, face scrunched up from both pleasure and concentration, as he searched for a particular little bundle of nerves. He hit it, letting out a series of high pitched moans that nearly made Phil knock him down and take him right then. Phil bit down on his lip, hard, resisting that urge, and waiting until Dan declared himself ready.

Dan stared at Phil and held his gaze steadily. He took his lube covered hand, and ran it up and down Phil’s cock, making sure it was covered thoroughly, before straddling Phil and reaching behind to guide Phil’s cock to the right spot.

Dan sank down slowly, sucking in Phil inch by inch.

Clutching Phil’s shoulders, Dan his face buried in his neck as he rolled his hips, whining every time his cock brushed Phil’s stomach.

“Lean back a little.” Phil whispered.

Dan removed one of his hands from Phil’s shoulder and placed it on the floor, bracing himself as he angled his chest away from Phil’s. Phil reached down to stroke Dan’s neglected cock, and Dan sighed in relief, increasing the speed of his hips to match Phil’s strokes.

Dan felt himself coming, and he watched as Phil grabbed a shirt from the floor to catch the mess.

“What…uh….the….ah…fuck, that’s…ahhhh…that’s my shirt.”

Phil tried his best to look sorry as he thrust up into Dan and followed suit, letting out a final moan of his own, and collapsing back onto the floor, nearly taking Dan with him. Dan felt Phil’s dick softening in his ass, and he rolled off, landing on his back. They lay next to each other, breathing heavily.

“We really should have turned the game off.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t have distracted me.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t have suggested the game. I swear, Phil, it’s like you’re constantly trying to get me naked.”

“Can you really blame me? You’re beautiful.”

“If you say so.” Dan mumbled.

Phil wanted to reassure him further, to make him see just exactly what Phil saw, but he hesitated, reaching out to hold Dan’s hand instead.

“I’m ready to talk.”

Dan was quiet, not wanted to pressure him.

Phil sighed, trying to figure out where to begin.

“Kids are mean, kids can be cruel, especially if you’re different. I never fit in with other kids, and it only got worse as I got older. By the time I was in university, I learned to   
suppress most of the weirder quirks, but stuff like that leaves scars that never really heal. I was bullied often, and there was one kid who seemed to have it out for me. I never told anyone, but it got pretty bad for a while until he left.”

Dan rolled over quickly to face Phil, his face screwed up in anger.

“That’s fucked up, that is so fucked up. How could they get away with that?”

“It was a big school. Much bigger than my last one. Easier for stuff like that to happen I guess.”

“It’s still fucked up,” Dan insisted, “so that’s why…?”

Phil nodded.

“I got older, I learned to hide it, to fit in better. That’s how I was able to get where I am today.”

“By not being yourself.”

“You could say that.”

Dan bit his lip when he saw the tears shining in Phil’s eyes. He gently cupped Phil’s cheeks, wiping the tears that were beginning to spill with the pads of his thumbs.

“Phil, Phil look at me. You never have to hide any part of yourself from me. I..I understand what it’s like to feel like you don’t belong.”

Phil scoffed at that, and Dan frowned.

“I do.” He insisted.

“What could anybody ever hate about you?”

Dan snorted.

“A lot, actually. They would make fun of me for being too polite, too posh. I got teased and called a gaylord pretty much every day of my school career. I could go on, but I’ve   
pretty much shut the door on that kind of stuff.”

“I wish I could do that,” Phil sighed, “telling you helped, honestly, it just feels good to talk to someone like this.”

“Let’s talk then.”

And talk they did. They talked about childhoods and adulthoods and every little thing in between. They talked about good times, and bad. They talked about family memories and   
about heartbreaks, about successes, about failures, about relationships, about likes, and dislikes, the list went on. No topic was left unshared, and the emotional connection they experienced was far more intimate than either expected, but they didn’t dare confront it. They talked and talked and talked until they couldn’t anymore.  
When is was all over, Phil was dozing softly with his head on Dan’s lap,Dan gently stroking his hair, pausing when Phil’s eyelids fluttered.

“Dan?”

“Yeah?” Dan answered softly.

“I’m glad I met you.”

He closed his eyes again, a look of contentment settling on his face. Dan was afraid to even breathe for fear of ruining the moment.

“Oh, fuck.” He whispered to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> who saw that coming?


	13. chapter twelve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Halloween!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> updated every monday, wednesday, and friday

There was a prominent change in Phil’s demeanor in the weeks following his confession. Opening up about his past lifted a huge weight off his shoulders, and it was obvious to everyone, especially Dan. There was a more relaxing atmosphere in the house, leaving Dan feeling more comfortable talking to Phil about anything and everything.  
With Phil’s new demeanor came unlimited access to the game room. Dan thought _he_ was a huge fanboy, but he had _nothing_ on Phil.

Phil had the box set of nearly every television show, sat on a bookshelf alongside mangas and books and boardgames, with silly knick knacks covering almost every surface.  
Dan, unbeknownst to Phil, had taken a few back to his room. He hoped Phil didn’t mind, but the tiny Bulbasaur and Calcifer plushies made his room feel more like home. Somehow, Phil hadn’t noticed they were there, then again, he was usually fairly preoccupied while visiting Dan.

Dan sat at the kitchen table munching Halloween candy with Louise, having gone through the bowl and divided it up so they each got their favorites. They had both taken a huge bite when Phil walked into the room. Dan choked on his mouthful of Maltesers, and Louise on her candy bar, with Phil watching in amusement as they tried to collect themselves, chocolate and crumbs flying from their mouths.

“Attractive,” He snorted, “are you two planning on saving any for the children?”

“Louise told me you never get any,” Dan protested, “we’re just trying to make sure you didn’t waste your money.”

“And you didn’t think you would get caught.”

“And we didn’t think we would get caught.”

Rolling his eyes, Phil turned to leave, but stopped when he remembered why he showed up in the first place.

“I almost forgot. Dan, I have a Halloween party to go to tomorrow night, do you want to go?”

“Do I have a choice?”

“Not really.” Phil laughed.

“Then why did you ask?”

Phil shrugged before continuing.

“It’s a masquerade ball,” he explained,” I already ordered myself a mask, but I didn’t anticipate…you. We can always go get you one today.”

“Actually, I have one of my own.”

“Alright.” Phil nodded. With a wave to Louise, he left.

That night in his room Dan pulled out his mask, a venetian one he bought on a class trip to Italy. He didn’t even know why he brought it here, but it seemed wrong to leave it behind. Putting it on, he imagined what it must look like, and he was tempted to go looking the mirror, but he held off.

The party snuck up on Dan, too fast.

Suit. Shoes. Mask. Phil. Car.

And they were there.

Phil was right, it was better to have someone with you. Still not great, but better. He felt Phil pull him close, and leaned in to the touch, grateful to have an anchor and a distraction.

“Do you want me to ask if they’ll play Toxic?” Phil chuckled softly.

Dan groaned.

“I’m trying to forget that night.”

“I don’t think I ever will.”

Dan poked him in the arm, and looked up, observing the inside of the ballroom.

“It looks like Hogwarts in here.” He mused.

Phil looked around.

“Yeah, it kinda does.”

The room–more of a hall–was large and open. Windows covered nearly the entire ceiling, providing an impressive view of the night sky above. The theme seemed to focus more on pumpkins than Halloween itself, but it was still a beautiful sight.

Phil quickly found a group of people he wanted to see, and he led Dan over to chat with them. Sensing Dan’s underlying nerves, he snaked an arm around his waist, and lifted his head to kiss Dan on the cheek. Dan blushed and looked away from the person he was talking to.

“I’m gonna go get some champagne, do you want any?”

Dan nodded.

“Yes, please.”

Phil went off in search of the champagne. Spotting it on a table near a large window, he snagged two glasses and caught sight of a familiar pair of eyes watching him. Of course his ex-wife was here, they did travel in the same social circles after all. He wondered briefly if she had seen him enter with Dan. He secretly hoped she had, because Dan looked absolutely gorgeous tonight, and he wanted to show the boy off to as many people as possible. He knew it was petty to try and make Alyssa jealous, but he couldn’t help it.

She also looked beautiful tonight, he observed. Though her mask covered most of her face, her mahogany eyes were unmistakable, and her chestnut curls hung down her back in waves. Phil remembered how much he used to love running his fingers through them, marveling at how soft they were. Her red dress complemented her tanned skin perfectly, and Phil made a mental note to tell her so later.

He returned with two glasses and handed one to Dan. Dan took a sip, feeling the bubbles tingling on his tongue.  
They made small talk with the group for a few more minutes before it dispersed, and Phil turned to look at Dan.

“I think you’re doing pretty well.”

“Yeah, well, thank god for social lubricants.” He said, taking another sip, larger this time. Phil took a sip from his own glass and he spotted Alyssa again. He was just about to go over and say hello when he felt a tug on the sleeve of his jacket.

Dan squirmed uncomfortably, he had reached his limit on social interaction and hoped Phil wouldn’t get upset.

“Is it okay if we go home now?” He asked, trying to keep the desperation out of his voice.

“Of course.” He said, taking Dan’s hand, glancing to see if she noticed.

She had.

Phil locked eyes with her as he headed towards the exit with Dan. She gave him a small smile before disappearing back into the crowd.

When they returned home, Phil all but dragged Dan to his room. Still in their party clothes, masks included, Phil went to push Dan onto the bed when he stopped and looked around.

“Did you redecorate?”

“What?”

“Something’s different.”

“Oh, the candles are new. I, uh, wanted to make it more festive? For Halloween? And candles seemed appropriate.”

Phil inspected the candles, picking them up and smelling them, and rearranging them on the dresser.

“Do you want to light them?” Dan asked.

Phil nodded and stepped away, allowing Dan to pass him and retrieve the matches from a drawer.

Once the last candle was lit, Dan blew out the match, and Phil turned out the lights. Dan froze. Had Phil really forgot about his fear? His question was answered when the soft glow of his amber lamp filled the room, soothing his frazzled nerves.

Phil walked up behind Dan and wrapped his arms around the boy’s waist, pulling him close. Dan leaned back into Phil and sighed, the stress from the evening finally hitting him. Dan reached up to take his mask off, but Phil grabbed his wrist.

“What are you doing?” Dan asked.

“Let’s keep them on.”

“While we…?”

“Yeah.”

“That actually sounds kind of hot.”

They undressed each other, the dim lighting making the act feel more personal, like they were sharing a secret, with the candles casting shadows over Phil’s face as he leaned in to kiss Dan.

“Spooky.” Dan commented.

“Don’t ruin the moment.”

“Close your eyes.”

Phil didn’t even question it, closing them and waiting until he heard Dan gently urging him to open again.

Phil’s first thought, looking at Dan laid out on the bed, candlelight dancing across his bare skin, was that he looked positively _sinful_.

He looked like something out of a Greek myth, a nymph sent to tempt, all soft curves and smooth skin, body lithe and willing.

He looked _absolutely gorgeous_.

And Phil was just standing there like an idiot, wasting time staring at this boy, this boy who was currently–

Oh, _god_ , he was fingering himself.

Something snapped inside Phil, something deep, and animalistic, and he was on the bed, pushing Dan’s fingers aside and replacing them with his cock. Dan whimpered as he pushed in, and Phil stalled for a moment, soaking in the feeling of Dan around him, before moving again. Dan screwed his eyes shut, biting his lip as Phil went deeper, and Phil couldn’t tear his gaze away.

Without the masks, it was just a regular night, just a regular fuck, but with them…

Well, Phil definitely wanted to try this again.

When it was over, Phil gently lifted the mask from Dan’s face, and the nymph disappeared, bringing his Dan back. He went to remove his but Dan beat him to it.

“You’re back.” He whispered, pulling it from Phil’s face and stroking his cheek reverently.

And Phil knew he wasn’t the only one who enjoyed that.

He cleared his throat and slipped out of bed, pulling on his pants and gathering up the rest of his clothes. He looked at Dan once more before leaving.

“Happy Halloween.”

“Halloween is over now.”

“Halloween doesn’t end until we go to sleep.”

“I don’t think that’s how–”

“Happy Halloween, Dan.” Phil whispered, shutting the door before Dan had a chance to respond.

Dan looked at the masks now sitting on his bedside table. Even with those on, he had managed to feel closer to Phil than ever before.

Everything felt different now, everything _was_ different now, and Dan was about to find out just how much.


	14. chapter thirteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> updated every monday, wednesday, and friday!

Phil was spending more time at the office. Dan still wasn’t entirely sure what he did, but whatever it was got a lot busier during the months of November and December. They hardly saw each other at all during the day, and at night Phil would come home and head straight for Dan’s room. 

Dan could tell how stressed Phil was, and tried his best to make it better.  
He was rubbing Phil’s shoulders, trying to ease the tension out of them, as he listened to Phil talk about his day. Phil would do this sometimes, just talk. He didn’t expect Dan to respond, and Dan didn’t understand half of it, but it seemed therapeutic to Phil, so he listened.

After finishing a particularly long rant, Phil leaned back against Dan, enjoying the feel of his slender fingers as they worked out the knots. He closed his eyes, letting his mind wander until it landed on Christmas. He sat up, pulling Dan forward with him, grabbing Dan’s hands and squeezing.

“You know what we should do?” He said excitedly.

“What?”

“Make cookies!”

“You know how to bake?”

“Err, no. Not really,” Phil admitted, “but how hard could it be?”

“I guess we’re about to find out.”

It turned out to be pretty hard, resulting in a disaster of a mess in the kitchen, and the two of them getting covered in flour. Phil didn’t have any cookie cutters, so they cut out their own shapes, which worked. Somewhat.

Dan was admiring their decorating job when Phil touched his arm, turning his attention from the cookies to Phil.

“Do you want some hot chocolate?” He asked.

“Are you making it?”

Phil nodded.

“Then, yes, please.”

Phil patted his arm.

“Marshmallows?”

“Of course.”

“Make yourself comfortable on the couch and I’ll bring it to you.”

Dan nodded, keeping his eyes on Phil as he walked to the middle of the room, nearly tripping as he did so. He blushed, and walked the rest of the way normally. Phil joined him not long after, drinks in hand.

Phil handed Dan the steaming mug and Dan accepted it gratefully, wrapping his fingers around the base. They sipped their drinks, enjoying the warmth and each others company when they were joined by Zoe and Louise who were lugging a large box between them.

“Is it tree time?” Dan asked, eyes growing wide.

“It is.”

Setting their now empty mugs on the floor, they stood up, Dan jumping up and down, cheering as Phil opened the box. He reached inside and pulled out the top of the tree. A look of confusion passed over his face as he stared at the single piece. Dan noticed and walked up to where Phil was standing.

“What’s wrong?” He asked.

“Where’s the tree?”

“That _is_ the tree.”

“No, it’s not,” Phil turned around quickly to glare at Louise and Zoe, “you’re messing with me.” he accused. They shook their heads no in unison. Phil reached back into the box again and pulled out a branch. Now holding a piece in each hand, he turned back to look at Dan, still looking confused. Realizing the problem, Dan started to giggle. It was a moment before he could spit it, he was laughing so hard.

“What? What is it? Why are you laughing?”

“You have to assemble it.” Dan managed to get out between giggles. Louise and Zoe tittered behind him, and Phil felt himself blushing.

“Hey! This is my first time setting up one of these! In the past we got a real tree, and since then I haven’t really had a reason to decorate.”

“What’s different about this year?”

Phil shrugged and began busying himself with the decorations, taking care to hide his face from Dan.

“Just felt festive, I guess.”

Zoe and Louise shared a meaningful look as they sat together on the couch, stringing baubles.

“Okay, look. There’s an instruction sheet that tells you where all the branches go.” Dan explained.

Groaning, Phil took the sheet from Dan and gave it a once-over before tossing it on the floor.

“This is going to take forever, I don’t want to do it anymore.” He whined.

“You’re the one who insisted on decorating the house. You aren’t even going to be here on Christmas day.”

“I know, but I can’t miss Christmas with my family. It’s a really big deal to them.”

“That must be nice.” Dan said, a hint of wistfulness in his voice.

“You know, you’re free to go home for Christmas as well.”

“I don’t think that’s the best idea.”

“I’m sure your family would love to see you.”

“No, they wouldn’t.”

“Are you sure? Maybe–”

“Look, can we drop it please?” Dan snapped.

Phil looked shocked at his outburst and there was an awkward silence that was quickly broken by Louise.

“Presents, presents, presents, I think it’s time for presents.” She cried, clapping her hands and pulling colorfully wrapped things from behind her spot on the couch.

“These,” she handed Dan a small, lumpy package, “are for you.”

Passing a similar looking one to Phil, they tore off the paper at the same time.

Inside were socks. Dan’s were bright pink with Hello Kitty on the foot, and he made a face at Louise who stuck out her tongue. Giggling, he slipped them on, snapping a quick  
picture before remembering he had no one to show it to. Hurrying to take his mind off that subject, Dan turned to look at the contents of Phil’s gift.

“Why does Phil get two pairs?” He whined

“He knows why.”

Looking down at his mismatched socks, one yellow and one striped, Phil made a face.

“I swear I know how to match socks, I just don’t like to.”

“Suuuure.” Dan said, laughing as Phil pretended to growl, poking his cheek.

“While we’re doing presents,” Phil said, standing up, “I have something for you, Dan.”

He retrieved a gift bag from the mantle, holding it out, but stayed seated, and made grabby hands at Phil, who sighed fondly and brought him the bag. Reaching inside, Dan found a small green plush toy.

“Oh my god! You got me a tonberry! A fucking tonberry!” he said excitedly, “This is the single best present anyone’s given me in my entire life!” He cuddled the toy this his chest and Phil felt his heart swell.

“I’m glad you like it.”

“I feel bad that I didn’t get you anything.”

Phil patted Dan’s knee.

“I didn’t expect you to. I just saw this in a shop the other day and thought you might like it.”

“I do. I really do.”

“I’m glad, baby.”

The pet name had just slipped out, and he watched Dan’s face for any sign of a reaction, but the boy was too preoccupied with his new present. He had pulled one of his new socks over its head, and was snapping pictures as Louise and Zoe watched. Phil decided to pretend it hadn’t happened, electing instead to begin cleaning up the discarded paper littering the floor, before sitting down on the couch and pulling a giggling Dan up to join him.

The evening was winding down, and Phil took in the scene around him. Louise and Zoe were deep in conversation and Dan was stretched out with his feet on Phil’s lap, playing on his phone. It all felt very domestic, with the warm fire and the decorations and the smell of baking cookies still lingering in the air.

He thought about how lucky he was to have a family to go to for the holiday, and was sad that Dan did not. Phil was extremely tempted to take Dan up north with him, but he knew it was far too intimate. Technically, Dan wasn’t even his boyfriend, and the thought of trying to explain that to his mother made his stomach churn uncomfortably.  
He tried to think of some other way to make the holiday special, and then it hit him.

“We should do a Christmas dinner!” He blurted out.

“Oh, are you planning to cook it then?” Zoe quipped from her spot on the couch.

He turned to them both, trying out his best puppy dog eyes.

“Please?”

Louise laughed.

“Of course we’ll do it. Now stop that, you ridiculous man.”

Dan crawled over to Phil and kissed his cheek.

“Thank you.” He whispered.

“You’re welcome,” Phil smiled, “So, are you looking forward to Christmas?”

“Now I am.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am such phan trash i couldn't resist adding the tonberry :p


	15. chapter fourteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas, Phil ;)

“Louise!” Dan called.

No answer.

“Louise!” He called again, louder.

She appeared in the doorway.

“You rang, Master Daniel?” She said, voice dripping with sarcasm.

“Um,” Dan blushed. Now that she was here, he was second guessing himself, “um, I need your help. Uh, this is possibly the weirdest thing I’ve ever asked you to do.”

She quirked an eyebrow.

“Oh?”

“Well, uh, you know how Phil is going home for Christmas?”

“Yes…”

“And we’re celebrating a little earlier?”

“As the one arranging that, yes.”

“Um…well…”

“Come on, Daniel, spit it out, you’re my awkward partner-in-crime, remember? Nothing is too weird for us.”

“This might be.”

Dan held up the red ribbon he was hiding behind his back.

“Can you…oh my god I can’t believe I’m about to say this…can you help me…please don’t judge me okay…can you help me…tiemywristsbehindmybackinabowlikeapresent?” He said, blushing furiously.

Louise burst into laughter, doubling over and clutching her sides as Dan looked on indignantly.

“It’s not funny.”

Straightening up, Louise wiped the tears from her eyes, smudging her eye makeup slightly in the process.

“Oh, love, that is absolutely precious.”

“There’s more.”

“Let me guess, you have to be in your nudie-pants?”

Dan’s mouth dropped.

“Louise! How did y–”

“I’m not that old, mister. I know exactly what you’re planning.”

Dan blushed a deeper crimson.

“Will you help me?”

“Of course.”

“Thank you!” He cried, hugging her tightly as she smiled and patted his back.

“Alright, strip down. I promise not to look at your bits.” She said, her tone turning business-like.

When they finished, Louise poked her head out of the room just as Zoe was walking by.

“Chummy! Hey, chummy! Go get Phil please!”

“Why can’t you, chummy?”

Louise grinned.

“Trust me, you’ll want to be here for this.”

Louise turned back to Dan.

“Is it okay if she sees?”

“Well I can’t fucking embarrass myself any further, can I?”

Louise opened the door wider, and Zoe peeked inside, letting out a gasp followed quickly by a snort.

“I’ll go get him.”

She hurried away, returning with a very confused looking Phil a moment later.

“What is so important that–”

He was cut off as Louise pushed him into the room and his jaw dropped.

He barely registered the faint sound of Zoe and Louise giggling as they walked off, presumably to check on the Christmas dinner. His mind was focused on something else. Someone else.

Dan was on his knees on Phil’s bed, face down, ass up, with his hands were tied behind his back with a ribbon. He was wrapped up like a present, just for Phil.  
Sucking in a breath, Phil stepped forward, his eyes raking over Dan’s form.

“Happy Christmas.” Dan said, his voice muffled slightly by the pillow.

“Happy Christmas, indeed.” Phil said, as he licked his lips and approached Dan.

Phil stood behind him, reaching out to cup Dan’s ass, spreading his cheeks.

“Lube?”

“It’s on the bed.”

“Yeah, you can understand why I missed that.”

Phil felt around for the bottle, and paused when his hand come in contact with…paper?

“Jesus, Dan, did you really wrap it up?”

“Maybe.”

Phil ripped the paper off and uncapped the bottle, squirting a generous amount on his fingers, he had big plans, it was a present after all. Holding the bottle up, he squeezed,   
letting it fall onto Dan’s crack and drip down, the cold lube making Dan shiver.

Phil started with two fingers, pumping them into Dan as Dan moaned loudly, trying to push back onto Phil’s fingers, but his position made it impossible. He let out a desperate   
whine that did not go unnoticed by Phil.

“Do you want more, baby? Do you want me to go faster?”

“Pleeease.” Dan moaned, widening his legs as much as he could manage.

Phil added a third finger, curling and spreading them as Dan writhed underneath him.

“More.”

Dan tried not to scream as Phil inserted a fourth finger. His thighs shook and he felt like he was being split in half, but it was so, so, good. Phil didn’t let this go on for too long   
before pulling his fingers out, and bending down to admire his work.

“Look at you, all stretched and open and pretty, and I haven’t even fucked you yet.”

He brought his lips to Dan’s hole, and kissed it, sucking gently at the sensitive ring of muscle.

“Are you ready?” Phil asked as he stood up, grabbing his cock and rubbing it teasingly against Dan’s entrance.

“Yes, yes, fuck me, please, yes.” He gasped, already teetering on the edge.

Dan’s cheek was pressed harder into the pillow, and he exhaled harshly as Phil, one hand holding the bow, and one hand placed firmly on Dan’s lower back to brace himself, began to move, rocking his hips as he tried to find the right angle.

Dan let out a broken moan as Phil hit his prostate, and he came, squirming at the overstimulation as Phil continued to fuck into him until he neared his own orgasm. Phil pulled out and stroked himself quickly before releasing on Dan’s lower back.

He tucked himself back into his boxers and zipped up his jeans, looking longingly at the soft bed in front of him. All he wanted to do now was lay down and take a nap, but he had to take care of Dan first. Phil went to the bathroom and returned with a damp cloth, using it to clean Dan’s back.

“Phil?”

“Yeah?”

“Still tied up here.”

“Oh, yeah, sorry.”

He carefully pulled at the ribbon, really feeling like he was undoing a present and Dan collapsed onto the bed, breathing heavily. Phil almost joined him until Dan sat up, rubbing at his wrists.

“How do you feel?” He asked.

“Like I could use a nap.”

“Well get dressed, it’s time for dinner. Zoe and Louise are waiting on us.”

Dan covered his face with his hands and groaned.

“Oh my god. Oh my god they’re gonna know what we did.”

“I’m sure they don’t.” Phil snickered.

“Shut up. Oh god, I can never look them in the eye again.”

“You can hide out in here if you want, but I’m going to go enjoy my Christmas dinner.”

“It’s not Christmas yet.”

“Tonight, it is. Besides, I’ve already opened my presents.”

Dan groaned and threw a pillow at Phil, who caught it easily.

“I cannot believe you fucking said that.”

“Sorry, couldn’t resist. So, are you coming?”

“I already did.”

“You cheeky little asshole.”

“You love my asshole.”

“I’m leaving now.”

“I’ll miss you.”

Phil smiled fondly.

“I’ll miss you too,” he opened Dan’s drawer and pulled out a pair of jeans, tossing them onto the bed, followed shortly by a pair of boxers and a jumper, “now get dressed.”

“Ugh, fine.” Dan groaned, gathering up the clothes.

Phil checked him out one last time before leaving, making sure to shut the door behind him.

Dan dressed quickly, he didn’t want to keep everyone waiting. He opened his sock drawer, hand hovering over a plain black pair when he spotted Louise’s present. He pulled on the fluffy socks, wiggling his toes a little, smiling at just how badly they clashed with the rest of his outfit, before exiting the room to join the others.

Dan followed his nose and was practically salivating as he took in the sight of the formal table covered in delicious looking food.

Dinner was a merry affair, and everyone laughed and joked and ate way too much. After they were done, Dan unbuttoned his jeans and rubbed his stomach, with Phil mimicking him, prompting Zoe to snap a picture. Phil poked Dan’s stomach, making him squeak, before standing up.

“I’ve got to go pack. Dinner was amazing. Thanks you two.” He smiled at Louise and Zoe, and nodded to Dan.

Louise noticed Dan staring at Phil as he walked off.

“Dan?”

“Yeah, Louise?”

“Do you want to spend Christmas with me?”

“Really? Yeah, of course!”

She clapped her hands excitedly.

“We’re going to have so much fun!”

She pulled him in for a bone-crushing sideways hug, and Dan allowed himself to be smothered.

Christmas was going to feel like Christmas this year, and he couldn’t be happier.


	16. chapter fifteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louise and Dan alone in the house, what could possibly go wrong?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> updated every monday, wednesday, and friday!

“Wake up, wake up, wake up! It’s Christmas!”

Dan rolled over, pulling the covers tighter over his head. Hands were tugging at it until it was unceremoniously ripped off his body, exposing him to the cold air.

“What the fuck, Louise?“ He cried out as he lost all the built up warmth provided by his bed, the temperature difference making him shiver. He tried to grab the covers back but she held them just out of reach.

"This wouldn’t be bothering you if you wore pajamas to bed.” She tutted.

“Why do I need to be awake now?” He mumbled, curling his body up in an attempt to ward off the chill, and hopefully make Louise take pity on him, but he had no such luck.

“I’m boooooored.” She complained, dropping the covers and tugging on his arm.

“So go do something else, _anything_ else, besides waking me up.” He said, trying to pull his arm away, before giving in and sitting up.

“You’re already awake, though.”

“Yeah, no thanks to you.”

She smiled innocently.

“I don’t know what you mean. Now hurry up or I’ll eat the leftovers without you.”

The promise of food was enough to get Dan out of bed, and he got dressed, picking out his new favorite jumper, one that he bought way before it was seasonally appropriate. It had been waiting in the back of his wardrobe for a while and he was excited to finally pull it out.

Louise was the picture of lazy domesticity as she microwaved plastic containers, arranging them on the breakfast bar, buffet style.

“Well don’t you look precious in your little Christmas jumper.” Louise cooed as he entered the room.

“Thank you,” he beamed.

They piled their paper plates high with food, and moved to the table.

“So, why did you want to stay here for Christmas?” Dan asked.

“I didn’t really have anywhere to go. This is my first Christmas without…well since my divorce, and without my daughter," She stared off for a second then collected herself, smiling sadly at Dan, "let’s just say I could use some company.”

“What about Zoe?”

“She’s spending it with her brother and boyfriend. She invited me along, but it just didn’t feel right.”

“You must miss Darcy, huh?”

“So much. Do you want to see a picture?”

He nodded and Louise pulled out her phone, scrolling through the photos until she found one she was happy with, handing the phone to Dan.

“Oh, Louise, she’s beautiful.” Dan breathed.

“Thank you, dear.” She smiled.

They finished their meal, and brought the plates to the kitchen to toss in the bin. Louise put away the leftovers, and was rummaging through the fridge.

“It’s way too quiet in here.” Dan observed.

“It does feel exceptionally large and empty without him here, doesn’t it?”

“That’s not what I–”

“Do you want some eggnog?” She asked, pulling out the carton and cutting him off.

“Egg nog? Really?” He asked, wrinkling his nose.

She shrugged and poured him a glass.

“You spend enough time in America, you start to pick up their strange customs. Including,“ she pulled out a bottle of whiskey, "this.”

Dan made a face.

“Don’t we have something…sweeter? And slightly less gag-worthy?”

“Nope,” she said, opening up the bottle and holding it over his glass, “you want a little, or a lot?”

Dan gave in, knowing that once he drank enough, the bad taste wouldn’t even matter.

“Let’s start with a little, and work our way to a lot.”

“Good choice.”

Before long they were both delightfully drunk and giggly, exchanging embarrassing stories, each trying their hardest to out do the other. Dan took a swig straight from the bottle.

"This is actually really good, where did you get it?”

Covering her mouth, Louise giggled.

“Oh no! You didn’t!”

She nodded guiltily.

“Don’t you think he’ll notice?” Dan asked.

“We’ll just tell him _you_ did it.”

“Louise!” He protested.

“Hush, he’ll never notice. Let’s play truth or dare!” She cried, dragging him toward the couch.

“That’s boring, I already know everything about you.”

"Let’s play dare or dare then!”

“There’s only two of us though.”

She seemed to mull this over in her head before jumping up, sloshing the last bits of eggnog on to the couch.

“I know!”

Leaning over to grasp the sides of the box, left abandoned after the ill-fated attempt to assemble the tree, she tried to haul it forward, and nearly fell over. Dan reached out to grab her but he was even less stable and they collapsed, Dan laying across Louise who was almost face down on the floor. Dan rolled over and helped her up, staring at the Christmas tree box she was grappling with, determined to get it open.

“What are you trying to do?”

“We, dear Daniel, we are going to set up this silly tree.”

“Isn’t it a little late to put up a tree?”

“Of course not! It’s still Christmas! It’s not our fault dear Philip gave up too easily.”

The instruction sheet lay abandoned as they haphazardly stuck the branches in random places, resulting in a very…interesting final product. Dan and Louise stepped back to admire their work.

“Nailed it.” Dan cried dramatically, and Louise held out her hand for a high five, which he sloppily returned.

And that was the last thing Dan remembered before waking up on the couch, Louise a few feet away on the floor, snoring softly. He tossed a bauble at her, hitting her in the cheek, and he moved just in time to avoid its return trip.

They didn’t speak, pounding headaches and nausea making that impossible, as they took the tree down. In the cold light of day, it seemed a lot more complicated than last night, then again, last night, they had alcohol on their side.

By the time Phil returned from his parent’s house on December 31st, every bit of evidence from their drunken Christmas shenanigans was gone, sans the empty whiskey bottle, which Louise still maintained she was going to blame on Dan if it was ever discovered. Dan tried his best to hide how excited he was to have Phil home. He loved spending time with Louise, and Zoe once she returned, but he really missed Phil. Probably much more than he should have, but he pushed that thought away.

Dan and Phil stood on the balcony, waiting for the countdown. It was the first time Dan had actually been out there, and it was every bit as magical as he thought it would be.  
“You didn’t have any New Year’s parties to go to?” He asking, turning to look at Phil and wondering why he was home.  
Phil shook his head.

“Not really my style. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m not really a partier. Besides, my birthday is coming up, and one party a month is my limit.”

“Wait, your birthday is soon? Why didn’t you tell me?”

Phil shrugged.

“Didn’t think it was important.”

“How old are you turning?”

“29.”

“Wow.”

“Wow?”

“I just didn’t realize you were that old.”

Phil looked offended, and Dan instantly regretted his words.

“I just meant you don’t act like a 28 year old.”

“What exactly is a 28 year old supposed to act like?”

“I don’t know. Boring, stuffy, normal.”

“Normalness leads to sadness, you know.”

“Where’d you get that from?” Dan snorted.

“My mum. She used to tell me that to help me get through school.”

Dan was quiet for a moment.

“I’m sorry.”

“What for?”

“I was being an ass.”

Opening his mouth to reassure Dan that he wasn’t, before glancing at his phone.

“Looks like the countdown is starting.“

"Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

**10**

Phil took a step forward,

**9**

wrapping his arms around Dan’s waist, and pulling him closer,

**8**

as Dan held his breath.

**7**

Phil pressed his forehead to Dan’s

**6**

and Dan stared into Phil’s eyes, trying to read his emotions.

**5**

Cupping Dan’s cheeks Phil guided Dan’s face down,

**4**

kissing him gently.

**3**

Dan melted into the kiss,

**2**

and Phil drew back, moving so that his mouth was next to Dan’s ear.

**1**

“Happy New Year, Dan.”

Fireworks exploded behind them, filling the night sky with colors and illuminating their faces, but they were too wrapped in each other to notice.

“Happy New Year, Phil.”

Happy New Year, Indeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> merry christmas nerds


	17. chapter sixteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Phil Day!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> updated every monday, wednesday, and friday! (no i didn't oversleep and post this late what are you talking about)

January flew by much too fast for Phil’s liking. Reluctantly opening his eyes and rolling over in bed, he looked at the date on his phone. it was the 30th of January, otherwise known as his 29th birthday. He groaned, tempted to crawl back under the covers and pretend it was still yesterday. He had known this day was coming, but that didn’t mean he was mentally prepared for it.

It also meant he was officially ten years older than Dan. Did that make him some kind of creep? Phil tried not to dwell too long on that thought as he grabbed blindly for his glasses on the bedside table and put them on. They slid down his nose a little as he climbed out of bed, stopping to smooth his hair down a bit as he caught sight of it in the mirror on the way to the bathroom.

Phil thought about taking a shower, but he knew that Louise and Zoe, and maybe Dan, although he usually slept late, would be up and waiting for him with a special birthday breakfast. They seemed to love his birthday more than him, even dubbing it “Phil day”. Deciding that his birthday meant he could spend the day in his pajamas, Phil headed to the kitchen.

“There’s the birthday boy!”

Dan was standing in front of him, flanked by Louise and Zoe, holding a plate of pancakes with a smile.

“We made pancakes!” Dan said proudly.

“They look delicious, thank you.” Phil said as he stepped forward to give Louise, and then Zoe a hug. Dan stood in the middle, looking unsure of himself until Louise grabbed the plate from him and set it on the table. Phil opened his arms and Dan stepped into them, accepting Phil’s hug and returning it just as tightly.

“Happy Birthday, old man.” He whispered in Phil’s ear.

Pretending to look offended, he gave Dan one last squeeze before releasing him.

“So, I heard something about pancakes?” Phil said, sitting down and reaching for the plate.

“Wait!” Dan cried.

He stuck a candle in the stack and lit it. Watching as bits of wax started to drip down the wobbly candle, Phil blew it out quickly.

“Make a–oh you already did it.” Dan said, disappointed.

“I would say sorry, but my pancakes were getting waxy.”

“Sorry about that.”

Phil lifted the wax covered pancake off the top.

“Here, Dan, you can have this one.”

“Ew, gross.”

“You never know,” said Louise, “it might be good luck.”

“Yeah,” Zoe chimed in, “just try it.”

“I think I’ll pass this time, thanks.”

He stood up to throw it away, but Louise snatched it from him, scraping the wax off the top, and setting it on her own plate.

“See, good as new. And now I get your good luck.”

Dan rolled his eyes and laughed.

After singing Happy Birthday, they dug in, making quick work of the breakfast. Dan pretended to lick his plate, and Phil watched in amusement.

Louise and Zoe gave him their presents, more socks, and Dan waited until Phil was finished thanking them to push his own present forward shyly.

“Dan!” Phil said, surprised, “you didn’t have to get me anything.”

Dan blushed.

“Well, technically, you bought it for yourself. I just picked it out.”

Phil tore off the paper to reveal a yellow hoodie.

“Oh my god, is this Jake? From Adventure Time?”

Dan nodded.

“Do you like it?”

“I love it!” He pulled it over his head, dragging Dan. Dan moved to pull away once the hug was done, but Phil yanked harder until Dan was sitting on his lap.

Phil noticed Louise and Zoe had conveniently snuck off, so he leaned forward to kiss Dan’s neck. Dan squirmed and giggled.  
“What are you doing?”

“I’m thanking you.” Phil said.

“Is this what you want to do today?”

“I have a better idea, Let’s go watch movies.”

“That’s it? That’s all you want to do?”

“Yeah, go pick something out while I make some popcorn.”

“Popcorn? But you just ate breakfast.”

“I _really_ love popcorn.”

Rolling his eyes, Dan left Phil to his popcorn making.

Phil had a large movie collection, and Dan didn’t even know what he liked to watch. He went with what he knew and selected the ones that he liked best, hoping Phil would like them too. He owned them, after all.

Phil entered the game room to see Dan settled on the couch next to a stack of DVDs, wrapped in the black and white covers from his bed.

“You look comfy.”

“Movie watching should be comfy.”

“I can’t argue with that. Is there room for me in that burrito?”

“After you pick a movie.”

“I better choose fast then.”

“I wasn’t sure what you liked, so I just picked out my favorites, is that okay?”

Assessing the pile, Phil saw that it contained all of his favorites as well. Mistaking his silence as disapproval, Dan tried to stand up, forgetting he was still bundled in the duvet. He freed himself and took a step forward.

“I’ll go pick out something different.”

Phil looked up.

“What?”

“I’ll get some different movies if you don’t like them.”

“No, it’s just funny.”

“What is?”

“These are all my favorites too.”

“Oh. huh.” Dan said, settling back into his spot.

“I guess that means we both have good taste then.” Phil grinned, “so what’s your absolute favorite?”

“Probably Kill Bill.”

“Kill Bill it is.”

Phil set up the movie and walked back over to Dan’s spot.

“You gonna let me in?”

Opening up one arm, and Phil sat down. Dan felt a bit strange holding Phil, but it also felt nice, and he shifted his position a bit as Phil lifted his legs onto the couch and snuggled closer until he was almost in Dan’s lap. Dan moved his other hand from under the covers, placing in on Phil’s thigh, eyes flickering over to see Phil’s reaction. Phil didn’t say anything as he put his hand on top of Dan’s and smiled up at him.

The movie started and they were both too engaged to say much, simply enjoying the company of each other. The other movies went unwatched, as Dan and Phil, warm and comfortable and full of pancakes and popcorn, fell asleep. Luckily, Phil had an alarm set so he could get ready on time, and it cut through the silence, waking them both up immediately.

Gently pulling Dan’s arms off of him, Phil stood up, reaching out a hand to help Dan do the same.

“Go get ready and meet me in my room when you’re done, alright?”

Nodding, Dan wrapped his duvet around his shoulders as he walked across the hall.

He couldn’t stop smiling. Phil could have done _anything_ for his birthday, and he chose to spend it with Dan.

Suddenly, Dan found that he wasn’t dreading the party tonight, in fact, he was looking forward to it very much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed the fluff ^_^


	18. chapter seventeen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's still Phil day!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> updated every monday, wednesday, and friday!

“Oh my god, it’s true, it’s actually true.”

“What’s true, Lys?”

“You actually went and got yourself one of those sugar babies, didn’t you?”

“He doesn’t like to be called that.”

“He doesn’t like to be called that,” she mocked, “oh my god, listen to yourself. You’re gone on this boy, aren’t you?”

Phil sighed, wishing he hadn’t picked up the phone as he searched through his wardrobe, wearing only his pants. “No, of course not. This is strictly a business arrangement.”

“Oh, that’s rich.”

“Did you just call to criticize my choices in companionship, or did you actually need something?”

“Just calling to check up on you, darling, and to wish you a Happy Birthday,” Phil flinched, and she continued, “I look forward to meeting your little boy toy tonight at the party.”

Phil covered the mouthpiece and groaned, of course she did.

“Don’t think I didn’t hear that.”

There was a soft knock on Phil’s door.

“Oh, thank fuck.”

He hung up quickly, knowing he would pay for it later tonight.

“Come in.” He called.

Dan entered, and Phil’s eyes widened appreciatively. He let out a wolf whistle and Dan giggled.

“Do you like it?”

Dan turned around slowly. His jacket was tailored to perfection, and his pants hugged his ass like a glove. Phil made a noise of approval, and Dan grinned.

“So, you like it? Is it okay for tonight?”

“It’s perfect. Everyone is going to try and steal you away from me.”

“They won’t be able to. I’m all yours.”

There was an awkward silence then, and after a few beats, Phil cleared his throat.

“Well I better get dressed, we have to leave soon.”

“Can I watch?”

“You want to watch me get dressed?”

“Yeah, I only ever see the clothes come off. Kinda curious to see them go on.”

“Do you want to pick something out for me?”

Nodding excitably, Dan scampered over to Phil’s wardrobe. Biting his lip in concentration, he assessed the options before him, trying to chose the perfect outfit. Phil sat on the bed, watching Dan flick through the hangers. He pulled out a blue shirt covered in black hearts and held it up for Phil to see.

“I don’t think I have a jacket that matches.”

“Who cares? Today you do what you want.”

Phil eyed the shirt.

“It is my favorite.” He admitted.

“See? The wasn’t so hard.” Dan said, unbuttoning it with nimble fingers and slipping it off the hanger. He held it out for Phil, and snatched it back when Phil tried to take it.

“Let me.”

It finally clicked for Phil what exactly Dan wanted. Turning around and raised his arms, he slipped his arms into the sleeves when Dan took a step forward. Dan pressed himself against Phil’s back and did up the buttons. Phil felt Dan’s hot breath on the back of his neck, and the way Dan’s fingers were brushing his chest. He closed his eyes, trying to will his growing erection away. There was no way they would make the party if he gave in, not with what he had planned for tonight. Dan had finished with the buttons and was now playing with the waistband of Phil’s boxers. Phil took a step forward, away from Dan and the temptation to fuck him right into the mattress.

“Where are you going?” Dan pouted.

“Need to finish getting dressed. I thought you wanted to watch that?”

“That was before.”

“Before what?”

“Before I realized that meant you were getting dressed.”

“Can I finish getting ready?”

“I suppose.”

Dan watched as Phil selected a pair of black trousers, dress shoes, and black socks.

“Why aren’t you wearing the ones Zoe and Louise got you?”

“I don’t exactly think they would match.”

“No one will see.”

“Fine.” Phil said, stuffing the socks back in his drawer, and pulling out two socks, one black and blue check, and one covered in cherries.

“Excellent choice.”

Phil dressed and was adjusting the cuffs of his shirt when he realized Dan was standing in front of him. He was caught off guard as Dan pushed Phil backwards on to the bed again. He moved to straddle Phil, his fingers trailing lower and lower. Phil grabbed his wrists and brought them behind his back. Dan let out a squeak of surprise as Phil pulled him down to whisper in his ear.

“Not until tonight, I have something special that I want to try.”

“Yeah?” Dan breathed.

“Yeah, I’m the birthday boy, remember? I get whatever I want today.”

“What exactly do you have in mind?” He asked, letting his mind wander to all sorts of different scenarios.

“It’s a surprise. Now get up, we have a party to go to.”

“I think you’re allowed to be late to your own birthday party.”

“I already am, thanks to you.”

Phil released his hold on Dan’s wrists and hooked his hands under Dan’s thighs. He stood up, taking Dan with him as he walked towards the door.

“How are you doing that?” Dan asked as he clung on to him.

“I’m stronger than I look. Now, are you going to let me leave, or am I going to have to carry you all the way to the car?”

“God, you’re such a dad sometimes.”

“I wouldn’t have to be if you weren’t such a petulant child.”

“I’m not a child.” Dan whined, but he released his grip, allowing Phil to grab his hand as they went to meet the car.

They pulled up to the building where the party was hosted, and the driver opened the door. Phil stepped out first, followed closely by Dan who stopped to take in the building in front of him.

“Is this the same place as the Halloween thing?”

“I don’t know, maybe.”

The truth was, Phil had noticed how much Dan seemed to like it last time, and he made a special request to have his birthday there. It was already booked at the time, but he paid a large amount of money to change that. There was absolutely no way he would tell Dan that though, it was better to let him think it was a coincidence.

When they walked in, the party was already in full swing. No one noticed his entrance at first, but he didn’t mind. In reality, all he really wanted to do today was stay at home with Dan, but he knew people would be expecting a party, and a party they got. Phil was very glad to have Dan there with him. Something about his presence was extremely comforting to Phil. Phil encircled an arm around Dan’s waist and pulled him close, placing a gentle kiss on his temple.

“What was that for?”

“For making this one of my best birthday’s in a while.”

Dan didn’t know how to respond, and luckily he didn’t have to. Alyssa chose that moment to show up, dragging a graying older man behind her.

“Hello, Philly.”

Alyssa knew he hated that nickname, and she also knew he wouldn’t say anything about it.

He decided to ignore her attempts to antagonize him, and focused his attention on the man next to her. Phil knew him, but only in passing, and just enough to know he was important.

“I’m Philip Lester, it’s nice to meet you.” He said as he held out his hand to shake.

“And this is my…” he paused, trying to find the best word. “my date, Dan.”

Recognition flashed across the man’s face as Dan took a step forward, and Dan wanted the earth to swallow him up right then. Alyssa looked between the two with interest, a wicked glint forming in her eyes. Phil was oblivious to this entire exchange, and was surprised when Dan tugged on his sleeve.

“I want to get some fresh air. Join me?”

“You go ahead, I’m going to keep talking to Mr. Snyder for a little bit.”

Dan tried to send a silent message to Phil with his eyes, begging him to follow, but to no avail.

“Actually,” Alyssa chirped, “I was hoping Mr. Snyder would join me on the dance floor.” With one last look at Dan, she took Mr. Snyder’s arm and headed to the floor.

“What is with her tonight?” Phil asked.

Dan shrugged.

“You know her better than I do.” He said nervously.

They made the rounds, Phil trying his best to say hello to everyone as they wished him a Happy Birthday and complimented the party. Phil held onto Dan the entire time, making sure to include him in the conversations. As much as Dan hated meeting new people, he was flattered that Phil wanted to introduce him. When they were done, Dan noticed Phil looking over at Alyssa and Mr. Snyder

“They certainly seem to be hitting it off.” He commented.

Dan could see why Phil thought that. She had hardly left the man’s side the entire party. She also seemed to be trying to get him drunk, judging by the amount of drinks she was bringing him. It appeared to be working too. Dan knew this didn’t bode well for him. Phil downed the rest of his drink before turning back to Dan.

“Ready to go?”

“But the party isn’t over yet.”

Phil pulled him close to whisper in his ear.

“Are you saying you don’t want to go home with me?”

Dan shivered and let Phil lead him out. He was looking forward to whatever plans Phil had cooked up.

Somehow, Dan and Phil managed to keep their hands to themselves for the entire car ride, nearly leaping out when it pulled up to Phil’s building.

They just made it into the lift before Phil pushed Dan against the wall and started mouthing at his neck, making Dan giggle.

“Does this mean it’s Birthday sex time?”

Phil stopped long enough to answer.

“It is most definitely Birthday sex time.”

“Well, whatever the birthday boy wants, the birthday boy gets.”

“Damn straight.”

Somehow they held themselves together long enough to get to Dan’s room. Dan found himself once again pressed against the wall as Phil bit his bottom lip, dragging it down as Dan let out a low moan.

Phil’s phone rang, interrupting the moment. It was Alyssa. Silencing it quickly, he leaned back in to kiss Dan. They had barely resumed their rhythm when his voicemail alert chimed. Phil groaned, pulling away reluctantly.

“Hang on, she only leaves messages when it’s important.”

Dan bit his lip. This couldn’t be good. Phil unlocked his phone, and pressed play.

“Hello, dear. Just thought I should let you know that boy was a prostitute. It was a lovely party. Talk to you soon!”

Silence.

One. Two. Three.

“I was never a prostitute.” Dan said quickly.

“Dan?”

“But, there were times…in my life..where I slept…where I slept with people….for money.”

“Dan,” Phil whispered, appalled, “Dan, that was prostitution.”

Dan stared hard at the floor, wishing he was just about anywhere else.

“You know what they say,” he forced a laugh, “desperate times.”

I’m guessing this isn’t the first time you’ve been to London then.“

"No, I actually moved here with a friend after my parents kicked me out.”

“And that’s when…?”

“Yes.”

“How…”

“I worked for a company actually. Officially it was an escort service.“

"And unofficially?”

“I think you can guess.”

“Why did you stop?”

“One of my clients, a pretty regular one, well his wife found out. She, uh, she got us evicted, my friend got pissed; and suddenly I was alone in London with no friends, no where to live, and no money.”

“What happened to…?”

“The money I made? Did you really think I saw any of it?”

“Why, though? Why would you do that to yourself?”

“How is that any different than this?” Dan snapped.

Phil’s face turned hard, and Dan instantly regretted his words.

“I wasn’t aware you felt that way.”

“Phil–”

“I’m sorry, I need to go.”

He turned around and promptly left the room. Dan sank down onto his bed in shock. He hadn’t expected any of that to ever come out. What would Phil think of him now? He had also managed to ruin Phil’s birthday, which he felt horrible about.

He lay down, not bothering to get under the covers or remove his clothes. There was no point, it’s not like he would actually be able to fall asleep, not with Phil as upset as he was.  
Back in his own room, Phil was in a similar state. He didn’t blame Dan for his past actions, but the thought of it nauseated him. He had thought they were close enough that Dan would have shared that, he had told Phil almost everything else about his past, except for the period of time between getting kicked out, and moving in with Phil. Phil had just figured nothing eventful had happened during that time, but he was wrong.

Tomorrow they would talk about it. Tomorrow it would get fixed. But tonight, tonight, Phil just needed to think.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *whistles innocently*


	19. chapter eighteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can Phil forgive Dan? Can Dan forgive Phil? (can y'all forgive _me_?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry for updating late again, but i'm very ~~hungover~~ tired and i tried to do it on my phone earlier and it just wouldn't work (side note: the chapters go up 6-12 hours earlier on my [tumblr](http://goldfishsunglasses.tumblr.com/) if you don't like waiting

Unfortunately, sleep eluded him. Instead, Phil lay awake, thinking about Dan. Not their conversation from earlier, that had yet to fully sink in, but just Dan, and his strange impact on Phil’s adult life.

He was 19, _19_ , with the loud, brash confidence of someone stuck in the limbo between his teenage years and adulthood, coupled with the lingering insecurities of childhood, and Phil never knew which side he was going to get.

His thoughts wandered as he began to reflect on his own 19 year old self.

At 19, he was just starting uni, meeting different people and enjoying the newfound freedom of living away from home for the first time.

At 19, he was dating around, guys and girls alike, experimenting and thoroughly enjoying himself.

19 was late nights and study groups.

19 was loud parties and too much alcohol.

19 was freedom and fun, the last year before you dropped the “teen”, and became a full-fledged adult. Age may be just a number, but 19 was a big one.

19 was not being scared and alone, with no one to turn to, not even your own family, desperate enough to consider…well to consider a sugar daddy.

19\. _19_.

Dan was only 19, and he was 29.

_29_.

Dan was right, how was this any different? Sure, Dan benefited a lot more, and held a hell of a lot more control over the situation, but in the end, Phil was essentially paying him for sex.

Is that why he was so mad at Dan? Not for what he had done, but for calling him out on his hypocrisy?

Guilt surged through Phil as the answer became obvious.

Oh god.

_Oh god_.

He owed Dan an apology.

He owed Dan the biggest apology, and he very nearly lept out of bed to go do it right now, to fix his wrongs and make sure he never saw that look on Dan’s face again. That look, that utter look of hurt and betrayal as he watched Phil judging him.

The truth was, Dan was never under any obligation to share his past with Phil. The fact that he had revealed as much as he had already…well Phil had just assumed that was it, that was everything, and that there were no more secrets between them. Dan had chosen to keep this particular skeleton deep in the closet, and in a terrible turn of events, it had been wrenched out, and displayed publicly.

Oh no.

_Oh no_.

Oh no no _no_.

She _wouldn’t_.

She wouldn’t tell people.

Would she?

Phil grabbed his phone, not caring that it was close to 2 am. She had called earlier, surely she was still awake. Fingers shaking, he selected her number from his contacts, and held the phone to his ear.

One ring.

Two rings.

Three rings.

“I see you got my message.”

“What the fuck, Alyssa, what the actual fuck.” He growled out.

“Language, Philly.”

“Don’t call me that, especially not right now.”

“Are you upset?

“Am I _upset_? Are you serious? You can’t be spreading information like that.”

“Phil, listen, I will admit I got a certain amount of satisfaction from telling you, but I’m not actually going to tell anybody else. I’m not a complete bitch, you know. I even convinced Mr. Snyder to keep quiet about it.”

“After you pried the information out of him.”

He knew her well enough to know that she had shrugged. She had always had a bad habit of forgetting the people on the other end couldn’t see it. Phil used to find it endearing, but now it was just prolonging a conversation he really didn’t want to be having right now.

“I was curious, can you blame me? All of a sudden you’ve got this new man, new boy really, in your life. No one knows anything about him, or where he came from. It was simple curiosity, that’s all.”

“Your curiosity hurt someone.”

“Who, Dan?”

“Me.”

“You? How could it possibly–”

“Because when you hurt him, you hurt me.”

“You love him, don’t you?” She said with a hint of resignation.

“Promise me you’ll keep this to yourself.” He said, ignoring her question.

“Phil–”

“Promise me, Alyssa. You owe me this.”

“I promise.”

“Thank you.”

“Are you upset with me?”

Phil sighed.

“Yes.”

“I’m sorry. I really am. I hope it works out between you two.”

She hung up without saying goodbye, and Phil wondered if she was being sincere. She truly did sound sorry, and seemed to regret hurting him. He hoped he was right, as he laid back down, drifting off to sleep with a slightly clearer conscience.

Phil really wanted to talk to Dan first thing in the morning, but work beckoned. He had taken so many days off lately, he didn’t really have a choice. Dan wasn’t awake when he  
left, and he didn’t think about letting the boy know where he was going before he rushed out the door.

When he came home from work, he searched the house for Dan, before finding him in his room, suitcase open on the bed, placing his things inside.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m leaving.”

“Dan, no! I…I’m sorry for getting mad, but you don’t have to leave!”

“You had every right to be mad at me. I’m a fuck up, and you don’t need someone like me in your life.”

“No, no I didn’t…and no, you aren’t”

Dan ignored him and continued packing. Phil approached him carefully, placing a hand on his shoulder. Dan shrugged him off, and Phil watched him sadly.

“If you really want to leave, I won’t stop you.”

“You _can’t_ stop me.”

“I would never try, not if it’s what you wanted, but I need you to know that it _is_ different. I realize it doesn’t seem like it sometimes, but it is.”

Dan shut his suitcase aggressively, and the bed squeaking in protest. Head bowed, and shoulders shaking, he spat out one word.

“How?” 

“It’s different because I would never force you to do anything you weren’t comfortable with. _Never_. I would be absolutely disgusted with myself if I did. I won’t try and make you stay if you’re unhappy. I care for you, and your happiness, more than my own satisfaction, and I don’t want you to leave without knowing that.”

Dan’s eyes prickled and his lip shook as he tried not to cry. His knees buckled and Phil was there immediately to catch him. They both sank to the floor, and Phil held Dan as he sobbed, soaking the front of Phil’s shirt. Phil rubbed his back and whispered soothing words in his ear, hoping to comfort him, tears falling down his own face.

They sat like that for a while, long after Dan’s tears had subsided, Dan clinging to Phil as Phil continued to hold him close.

“I’m sorry.” He whimpered.

“I’m sorry too,” Phil said, “I’m sorry for what happened last night, and I’m very sorry that happened to you. Nobody deserves a past like that.”

Sniffling, Dan peeked up at Phil, smiling tentatively.

“So you really don’t want me to leave?”

“Of course not. I mean, sometimes you’re more trouble than you’re worth, but I think I’ll keep you around.” He joked, running his hand down Dan’s side, tickling him. Dan squealed and tried to pull away until Phil stopped. He brought his face down to Dan’s, asking permission with only his eyes. Dan answered with a kiss, straining his neck for a better angle. Phil cupped his cheek, kissing one more time before pulling away.

“Fancy a game of Mario Kart?” He asked.

Dan wiped his face with the back of his hand, feeling much better now that his secret was out, and that everything was okay between the two of them again.

“Can it be strip Mario Kart?”

“Of course it can.” Phil chuckled.

Standing up, Dan pulled off his shirt, tossing it on the floor before running across the hall.

“Dan!” Phil called after him, “what are you doing?”

“Getting a head start! I’m already planning to lose the first round!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't get comfy ( ﾉ^.^)ﾉﾟ☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ


	20. chapter nineteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The porn is back! (with just a _smidgen_ of plot)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay you can be comfy for one more chapter  
> edit: TEN THOUSAND HITS WHAT :O

Phil moaned as he bucked his hips into the warm mouth surrounding his dick, enjoying one of the best blow jobs of his life, feeling himself getting closer, and closer, until–

He woke up.

Dammit.

Dammit, dammit, _dammit_.

He considered going to Dan’s room, but the boy deserved some sleep after the events that had taken place over the past few days.

No, Phil had to take care of this particular problem by himself.

Like a fucking teenager.

Opening the drawer next to his bed, he felt around for his bottle of lube, there was nothing worse than a dry hand job, and picked up where his dream left off.

Dream Phil threaded his fingers in Dream Dan’s hair, pulling him up and shoving him against the window of his office, his cock pressing against the glass, streaking precum all over it. Dream Phil got on his knees behind Dream Dan and spread his cheeks, licking a long, wet, stripe over his hole as Dream Dan shuddered underneath him, letting out a loud whine. Phil groaned as he thought about the delicious noises Dan made during sex, and Dream Phil stood up to remove his tie. Dream Dan willingly opened his mouth and Phil shoved it inside, not caring that it would most likely ruin the silk. Nothing mattered in that moment except the beautiful boy in front of him, legs spread wide for all of London to see. Dream Phil teased Dream Dan’s hole with his tongue and fingers, working it open until Dan was a panting, writhing mess.

Suddenly, Phil heard a noise that was decidedly _not_ Dream Dan.

He opened his eyes to see Dan standing just inside his doorway, pumping his own cock furiously as he watched Phil pleasuring himself. Phil didn’t get a chance to react properly as he came over his hand, harder than he expected thanks to Dan’s unannounced presence. A loud keening noise alerted him to Dan’s orgasm, and he sat up on his elbows to watch. White spurts hit Dan’s stomach, staining his shirt as he worked himself through his release, legs nearly giving out once he was done. Still dazed and coming down from his high, he stumbled over to Phil’s bed and collapsed onto it, laying across Phil’s legs and closing his eyes. Phil’s softening cock was within arms reach, and he poked it, smirking as Phil hissed as Dan’s finger brushed the sensitive flesh and batted his hand away. Dan moved his arms above his head, stretching languidly.

“That was…” He said, a cheeky smirk still adorning his features.

“Yeah…”

“What were you thinking about?” He asked Phil.

“You.”

“What about me?”

“You, in my office, sucking me off until I couldn’t take it anymore and dragged you out from under the desk.”

“Did you fuck me against the window?”

“How did you know?”

“I, uh, might have had the same fantasy.” Dan admitted.

“Huh.”

“Yeah.”

“We might have to try that sometime.”

“I wouldn’t complain.”

Phil reached up to poke his dimple, and Dan pretended to make an angry face and bite at him. Phil laughed and poked him again, loving the silly reaction. He brought his hand  
down and regarded Dan with a contemplative expression. His next words were surprising, even to him.

“Do you want to watch a movie tonight in my room?” He asked.

“What, right now?”

“No, tonight.”

“Oh. Oh! Oh, yeah, yes. I mean…yes.”

Phil watched Dan with a look of amusement on his face.

“So, yes?”

“Yes.”

“I’ll see you later then.”

Dan didn’t mind the dismissal, he was too busy thinking about tonight. Not only had Phil not gotten mad about him watching, but Phil wanted to spend time with him in his room,  
something totally out of the norm. As comfortable as Phil had gotten around Dan, his bedroom was still a place he didn’t let Dan into, and Dan hoped this could mean something important. He kept himself busy in all the usual ways, which would have become repetitive to anyone else, but not Dan. Spending his days browsing the internet and playing games was every kid’s dream, and he got to live it.

Having Phil helped too.

Phil came home around his usual time, but instead of entering Dan’s room and, well, entering Dan, they went to Phil’s room, Phil holding Dan’s hand, something he didn’t do very often. Dan walked inside first, and Phil followed, shutting the door behind them. He stripped down to his boxers, and Dan stood, frozen.

“Do I have to do that too?”

“Of course not, I just wanted to get comfortable.”

Dan nodded, and moved to pull his shirt off. Phil stopped him.

“You don’t have to, you know that.”

“I know, I want to.”

Smiling, Phil helped Dan remove the rest of his clothes until they were standing in front of each other in similar states of undress.

“What do you want to watch?” Phil asked.

“You can pick.” Dan said, suddenly feeling very shy.

“Is Kill Bill okay?”

“You aren’t sick of it?”

“Of course not.”

“Yeah, we can watch that.”

Phil set up the movie and climbed onto the bed, sitting up with his back resting on the pillows, legs spread. He motioned for Dan to sit between them, and Dan crawled over and made himself comfortable. Not even 10 minutes into the movie, Phil began pressing gentle kisses to the back of Dan’s neck, running his hands lightly up and down Dan’s sides. Dan’s stomach fluttered as he realized where this was going. Phil ran his hand down Dan’s stomach, making Dan shiver. He slipped it inside Dan’s boxers, resting it there for a moment before slowly moving his hand. His other hand came up to pinch Dan’s nipple, rolling it in his fingers until it hardened. Unable to control himself, Dan bucked up into Phil’s hand. Planting one last kiss onto Dan’s shoulder, Phil brought his lips to Dan’s ear.

“Are you enjoying the movie?”

Dan swallowed thickly before answering.

“We were watching a movie?”

Dan felt Phil’s warm breath tickle his neck as he laughed and pulled his hand out, earning an annoyed whine from Dan.

“Shhh, we’re not stopping, don’t worry. Lean forward for me.”

Dan did and Phil shuffled out from behind him, none too gracefully, and moved to straddle Dan. Wrapping his arms around Dan, he laid him down on the pillows carefully, as if he thought Dan might break. He removed his own boxers, then pulled off Dan's, wrapping his fingers back around Dan’s erection, starting off slow and increasing his speed at a fast pace. Dan threw his head back, eyes starting to close as Phil ran a finger over his slit.

“Keep them open. Look at me.” Phil murmured.

Struggling to keep them open, Dan watched as Phil went for the lube and coated his fingers. He started off with one finger, taking plenty of time before moving up to two, focusing more on Dan’s pleasure than preparation. Finally, when Dan was starting to completely fall apart, Phil pulled his fingers out, wiping the excess lube on his cock. He dragged his fingers down Dan’s thigh, feeling it tense up underneath his touch, before sliding his hand underneath Dan’s knee and gently guiding his leg up and over his own shoulder. Phil scooted forward so that he was kneeling on either side of Dan’s other leg. He grabbed his cock and positioned it at Dan’s entrance, stretched and waiting for him.

“Are you ready?” Phil asked.

“Y…yeess..” Dan moaned in response.

Phil was being so gentle with him, it almost felt like love-making. They never broke eye contact as Phil thrust into Dan, gripping his hips firmly, but not hard enough to leave bruises. The sensation of Dan around him, slick and hot, became too much for Phil. He felt his balls tighten as he neared his orgasm. He dropped Dan’s leg and leaned forward, burying his face in Dan’s shoulder as he came. The feeling of Phil spasming inside him sent Dan over the edge, and he let out a high pitched moan as he came over both of their stomachs. Phil relaxed his body, squishing Dan underneath him. Dan squealed indignantly as he struggled to push Phil off him.

“Can’t. Too tired.”

“I’m tired too.” Dan laughed.

“You don’t have to leave.”

Dan’s eyes widened.

“Are you sure? Does this mean you want me to…sleep in here?“

“Yes,” Phil chuckled, “yes, I am sure I want you to sleep here tonight.”

“I just…you don’t…we’ve never…”

“Yes, we have.”

“Oh, right.”

“A few times, if I remember correctly.”

Phil ran his hands up and down Dan’s sides, tickling him, grinning as Dan giggled and squirmed underneath him.

"Let’s get cleaned up first, yeah?”

Dan nodded and made a face as Phil rolled off him, as if finally realizing the mess they had made. Phil came back with a damp flannel, wiping both of their stomachs, before returning the soiled cloth back to the bathroom and climbing into bed with Dan. He opened his arms to snuggle, but Dan had other ideas.

“Can I be the big spoon?”

Phil nodded and rolled over onto his other side. Moving forward until his body was flush against Phil’s, Dan tucked his chin into Phil’s shoulder, breathing in the scent of his body wash and smiling. One word echoed in his mind before he fell asleep.

 _Maybe_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> buckle up


	21. chapter twenty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh, look, it’s another party! (also porn but is that really a surprise by now y’all know what you’re reading)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a few things to know before we get started:  
> 1\. we're somewhere in late february/early march time-wise  
> 2\. this is the last smutty chapter, so if you're in it for the porn, abandon after this  
> 3\. the story moves pretty fast from here (which was _totally_ on purpose and not at all because i'm crap at pacing heh)  
>  4\. we're getting close to the end :o  
> okay you may proceed

Phil had assured him that Alyssa wouldn’t be a problem anymore, but Dan had enough past experience with wives, both ex and current, and just how jealous they could get. She had Phil convinced that she had just been looking out for him, but Dan knew better. Her intention was to get rid of Dan, and she was the last person he wanted to see. He almost faked being sick tonight to avoid seeing her, but he knew Phil needed him. He also needed to show Alyssa that he was still there, that she hadn’t broken him.

Maybe later, though.

Maybe once he had a few drinks, enough liquid courage to confront her without completely embarrassing himself.

Maybe she wouldn’t even show up, and he wouldn’t have to do it at all.

Unfortunately, Dan was not so lucky. He was standing, shoulders hunched, next to the food, filling his plate with biscuits and berries, when he realized someone was behind him. The scent of her perfume hit his nose and he stood up straight before turning around. They locked eyes, daring the other to speak first.

“What are you doing here?”

“Hello Alyssa. I’m here with Phil.”

“That’s impossible.”

“Your plan didn’t work.” He said.

“I knew he would be too nice to kick you to the curb. You have him wrapped around your finger, don’t you?”

“No, he’s just a decent person.”

“I told him I wouldn’t tell your secret, but now it might just slip out by accident.”

“I know you’re not going to do that, deep down you still care about him. You wouldn’t hurt him like that, as much as you may hate me.”

She wrapped her hand around Dan’s forearm, her nails digging in and making him flinch.

“I know something too,” She hissed, her grip tightening, "I know. I know you’re in love with him. And I’m going to tell him.”

“What could you possibly have to gain from that?”

“Your unhappiness, for one.”

“God, could you be any more of a cartoon villain?” He scoffed.

“Do you really think he could ever love you back? What could you ever give him besides sex?“

She was more than a foot shorter than him, but in that moment Dan has never felt so small. Deep down he knew she was right, but he couldn’t let her know that. Over her shoulder he spotted Phil making his way over. Alyssa turned her head to see what he was looking at, and prepared to make her exit. Still holding his arm, she dragged him down slightly to whisper something only he could hear.

“I’m not going away.” She said, before releasing him. He watched as she flounced off, disappearing into the crowd.

For the rest of the night, he felt Alyssa’s eyes on him, and Dan was very glad when they finally returned home.

“God, I really hate those parties sometimes.” Phil said as they walked inside.

“Then why do you go?”

“Social obligations. They’re better when you’re there though.”

Dan flushed at the compliment, and pulled his jacket off, setting in down on a chair.

“Plus, I get to come home and do this.” He said, reaching up to cup Dan’s cheeks, pulling him in for a kiss. Dan leaned into it, already feeling the blood rushing to his cock as Phil   
ran a hand up under his shirt. He moaned into Phil’s mouth and began grinding his hips, desperately seeking any form of friction. Phil tugged at the hem of Dan’s shirt.

“Off.”

Dan quickly undid the buttons, tossing it to the floor.

“Let’s take this to my room.” Phil all but growled into his ear

He didn’t need to ask Dan twice. 

Distance and clothes disappeared and Dan found himself facing Phil’s bed, with Phil behind him, lube slick fingers working him open. Dan had no idea when Phil had grabbed the lube, but he didn’t really care. Phil removed his fingers and used the excess lube to coat his dick, before lining up with with Dan’s entrance. He slid in, bending forward and wrapping one arm around Dan’s chest, pulling him close, placing his other hand on top of Dan’s and closing it, intertwining their fingers as he began rolling his hips forward. The only sounds in the room were their breathy pants and moans, and the soft noise of skin meeting skin. Their position on the bed provided the perfect amount of friction for Dan, and he felt himself getting close.

“Wait.”

Phil stopped his thrusts, but stayed inside Dan.

“What is it?”

“I don’t want to get your bed dirty.”

Phil was used to Dan’s penchant for cleanliness by now, even if it inconvenienced him.

“I have an idea.”

He pulled out of Dan, crawling forward to lay down on the bed. Dan was confused until he realized what Phil wanted. He was nervous, this was new to him, but if Phil wanted to try it, he would. He straddled Phil’s head, lowering his dick into Phil’s waiting mouth, leaned forward and wrapping his own lips around Phil’s cock, bobbing up and down, his movements sending his dick deeper into Phil’s mouth. He felt Phil grab his hips to keep him from going too far, and Dan lifted his ass up a bit to make it easier. His own gag reflex was much less sensitive as he took Phil all the way in, holding his head down for as long as he could, his eyes watering, choking slightly before pulling off. He repeated it a few more times, feeling his stomach clenching as Phil sucked harder. He felt Phil’s tongue slide against his dick with every thrust of his hips, and he moaned around Phil’s cock.  
The vibration was enough for Phil, and Dan felt the warm liquid filling his mouth. Swallowing it down, he lifted himself up, focusing on his own release now. Phil pushed Dan’s hips up and sucked greedily on the tip of his cock, stopping occasionally to flick his tongue against the slit.

Dan involuntarily bucked his hips as he came down Phil’s throat, fingers threaded in his hair. When he was done, he rolled off, scrambling to turn around so his head was next to Phil’s once more. Phil reached out for Dan’s hand, and he accepted. Phil rubbed his thumb over Dan’s, smiling softly in his direction.  
The words nearly slipped from Dan’s lips, and he bit his tongue, literally, holding them back as he moved to get up, but Phil held tightly.

“Stay.” He whispered into the dark.

Dan couldn’t refuse him, as much as it hurt. Climbing back into the bed, he slid under the covers, with Phil pulling him close, nuzzling his shoulder as he drifted off to sleep. Sometimes, in moments like this, Dan felt like it could be real. That what he and Phil had was real, that they were lovers, that Phil could love him. He lay awake, listening to Phil breathing softly next to him, thinking back to everything Alyssa had said. Last night in Phil’s bed, he had felt like he belonged there, like Phil really wanted him there, but the more he thought about it, the less he believed it.

Quietly, as not to wake Phil, he carefully extricated himself from Phil’s hold. He shuffled through the house in the dark before crashing into Louise, who had gotten up to get a glass of water.

“Dan? What are you doing up?”

“I…”

“Were you in Phil’s room?”

He nodded.

“Why aren’t you there now?”

“I…I just can’t tonight.”

“Oh, love.” She sighed, “do you want to talk?”

“I’m sorry, Louise, I just really want to go to bed.”

She smiling sadly, she squeezed his hand before letting go.

“You know where I am.”

He nodded, and giving her a small salute as he walked away.

Dan climbed into his own bed, clutching his bear and wishing with all his might that it was someone else, and knowing that there was absolutely no way it could be.


	22. chapter twenty-one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil notices somethings wrong with Dan and tries to cheer him up

The texts began soon after the party. Dan wasn’t even sure how Alyssa had gotten his number, but he suspected it wasn’t through normal means. It got so bad he was beginning to flinch every time his phone went off, and it was starting to take a toll on his nerves. The first time Phil noticed, they were eating dinner together, a rare occurrence as Phil normally got home much later, but a client had cancelled on him, so he left the office early. He called Dan to let him know, and Dan had surprised him by making dinner. Nothing fancy, just a simple stir-fry, but Phil still appreciated it enormously. Phil was rambling on about his day when he noticed Dan wasn’t responding, not even with a “hmm” or a “yeah”. He looked up from his food to see Dan staring at the phone on the table, brow furrowed.

“Anything wrong?”

Dan took his eyes away from this phone, cursing himself for being too obvious, hurriedly shoving his phone back in his pocket and resuming his meal,

“No, nothing’s wrong, Just got a weird text from a wrong number.” He said, feigning nonchalance.

Phil didn’t press further, but he couldn’t get the strange look on Dan’s face out of his head.

Later that week, Dan was sitting in the lounge when his phone went off. He didn’t even glance at it before tossing it to the other end of the couch.

“What did the phone do to you?”

Dan jumped, he hadn’t realized Phil was in the room. Shit. He wracked his brain, trying to come up with something to say to explain his strange reaction.

“It was just someone from my…old life, trying to get back in contact.” He lied, glad Phil didn’t know any of his tells.

“I see, have they been doing this for a while?”

“Ye..Yeah.” He stuttered out.

“Have you tried blocking them?”

“You can do that?”

“Of course, can I see the phone?”

“Uh, I think I can figure it out on my own, thanks.”

Standing up, he fled the room, leaving a very confused Phil behind. Phil found him in the game room, pacing and muttering to himself. Closing the door gently, he stepped inside. Dan paused when he heard Phil enter, wondering how much Phil had overheard. Phil didn’t say anything as he walked over and wrapped his arms around Dan from behind. Phil held him like this for a moment before speaking.

“You’ve seemed really stressed lately. You don’t have to tell me why, it’s okay, but I want to help.”

Dan opened his mouth to respond, but Phil beat him to it.

“Whenever things get to be too much, I pause the world and take a bath.”

Dan snorted.

“A bath? Isn’t that a little feminine?”

“Isn’t that a little sexist?”

“Touche. So you want me to take a bath?”

“No, I want you to take a bath _with me_.”

“I think we’re a little large for that.”

“I have a big tub,” Phil winked, “so, what do you say?”

Dan turned his head, straining to read Phil’s face behind him. Phil was smiling, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. Dan could see the worry in them, and he gave in almost instantly.

“Yeah, yeah, okay. A bath sounds good.”

“Great! Do you mind if we use a bath bomb?”

Dan wrinkled his nose.

“That’s definitely too girly.”

Phil laughed and took Dan’s hand, leading him to the master bedroom.

“You can wait here while I get the bath ready.”

Dan sat on the bed and awkwardly crossed his legs. Did Phil want to have sex with him in the bath? He knew Phil was opposed to shower sex, but maybe this was different. He decided to go ahead and strip down while Phil ran the tub. Catching a glance at Phil’s bare bum through the open bathroom door, he felt his cock stiffen in his tight jeans. Maybe tub sex wasn’t entirely out of the question. He grabbed the hem of his shirt, pulling it off. and folding it neatly. He placed it on Phil’s dresser, figuring now was not the time to leave clothes everywhere. He unbuttoned his jeans and slipped them off, quickly followed by his socks and boxers. They joined the tidy pile on the dresser and he sat back on the bed, waiting for Phil to call him in. Unable to resist, he started palming himself, whimpering softly as his hand came in contact with his needy cock.

Phil smiled as his watched the bath bomb dissolve, turning the water into a galaxy of purple and blue. He lit his favorite candle, Fireside Treats, and hoped the calming atmosphere would be enough to, well, calm Dan down.

“You can come in now!” He called.

Dan entered, and Phil drew in a breath as he took Dan in. His eyes were instantly drawn to Dan’s erection, bobbing proudly against his stomach. Phil was tempted to bend Dan   
over the countertop and fuck him senseless. Pushing those thoughts away, this was supposed to be about Dan, he climbed into the tub, beckoning Dan to do the same. After a minute of adjusting, bumping limbs and splashing around, they finally found a comfortable position, Phil reclining on the end opposite the faucet, and Dan settled in between his legs. Dan leaned back against Phil’s chest, closing his eyes and feeling more relaxed than he had in days. He felt his problems start to melt away as Phil gently massaged his shoulders.

He opened his eyes a short time later as he felt himself gently being shaken.

“What is it?” He mumbled.

“You feel asleep, I didn’t want to wake you, you looked so peaceful.”

Dan felt guilty for making Phil sit in the now cold bath water as he napped. He tried to sit up, but his limbs were still sluggish with sleep.

“Let me get out first.” Phil said as he gently pushed Dan forward, carefully climbing out. He hooked his hands under Dan’s armpits, pulling Dan to standing position. He wrapped   
Dan’s arm around his shoulder, and helped him out. Phil was shivering but he ignored it in favor of wrapping Dan in a warm towel. Once Dan was sorted, he retrieved his own towel, three towels really, and placed his hand on the small of Dan’s back, guiding him forward into the bedroom. Dan didn’t protest as Phil dried him off, not even when Phil brought the towel up to his head and rubbed vigorously.

“And the hobbit hair makes an appearance once more.”

Dan made a face.

“I still don’t get why you like it so much.”

“I still don’t get why you hate it, you should stop straightening it.”

“I’ll stop straightening it when you stop dying your hair.”

“How did you know–was it Louise?”

Dan shook his head.

“The eyebrows kind of give it away.”

“Oh, right. So, are you feeling any better?”

“Yeah, actually. I will never diss the power of baths again.”

Phil put his arm around Dan and pulled him close, kissing the top of his head.

“Do you want to sleep in here again tonight?” He asked.

Dan nodded, not even bothering to get dressed again as he crawled into bed. Phil joined him, wrapping the covers securely around them both, before nodding off, the stress over Dan finally hitting him. Phil was sleeping soundly on Dan’s chest as Dan stared up at the ceiling, wide awake. He absent-mindedly stroked Phil’s hair, his thoughts a million miles away. Just what exactly were they? Everything had been so simple in the beginning, when Dan knew what Phil wanted, and Phil knew what Dan wanted. He didn’t even know what he wanted now, and it seemed like Phil was the same way. Phil had been very clear at the start, but lately, the lines had been getting blurrier and blurrier, and Dan still didn’t know where exactly they were drawn. He didn’t want to ruin this, not when he and Phil were in such a good place. They worked exactly as they were, even if Dan wanted to be more sometimes. He’d agreed to this, after all.

His phone alerted him to a new text, and he leaned over to grab it. His sudden movement shifted Phil, and Dan froze. Phil mumbled something unintelligible, and snuggled deeper into Dan’s chest. Dan exhaled and unlocked his phone, feeling his stomach drop when he saw the message

Alyssa: It’s only going to get worse until you leave :)


	23. chapter twenty-two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things start getting worse...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> updated every monday, wednesday, and friday! (y'all are very spoiled)

Things with Alyssa were escalating. She had moved from texting him constantly to calling him at least once a day.The calls all went the same way, with her telling him exactly what she would say to Phil, and Dan begging her not to. He didn’t even know why he didn’t want Phil to know, but he was scared. He was scared he had taken this too far. He knew that Phil probably didn’t feel the same way, and the embarrassment and fear of rejection was enough to keep Dan from confessing his current situation to Phil.  
Alyssa had him convinced that Phil would drop him as soon as Dan admitted his feelings, and Dan believed her. After all, she was Phil’s ex-wife. She knew him better than anyone in the world, at least according to her. Dan was sure Phil was starting to suspect, and he tried his best to be more secretive about it. It was tempting to block her number, but he knew that would only seal his fate.

It almost came to a head when Phil got Dan’s phone bill.

Dan was in the game room playing Final Fantasy when Phil appeared in the doorway, holding a piece of paper.

“Dan, do you mind explaining your phone bill from last month? I noticed you’ve been making more calls than normal. Is everything okay?”

“I’ve been trying to fix things with my parents.” He lied, cringing internally as he watched a look of concern pass over Phil’s face.

“All right, well let me know if you need to talk about it, yeah?”

Dan nodded in Phil’s direction, attention already back on the game. Phil closed the door gently behind him, and chewed his lip, feeling conflicted. He knew Dan was lying to him. After their conversation that day in the lounge, he knew there was no way Dan would ever be able to patch things up with his family. The number wasn’t even from the right area code, unless Dan’s parents had recently decided to move to London. He didn’t want to press any further and encourage Dan to continue lying though, so he dropped the subject.  
The number seemed familiar to him, but he couldn’t quite place it. He was very disappointed Dan didn’t trust him enough to share what seemed to be causing him so much stress. Phil thought they were done with secrets after recovering from Dan’s huge one, and he was sad that was not the case. He needed to talk to someone, and he knew exactly who.  
Louise might have worked for him, but she was his best friend first, so naturally she was the one he brought his problems to. He knocked softly on her door, hoping she wasn’t too busy.

“Door’s open.”

Pushing it open, he found her sitting at her desk, surrounded by binders and ribbons and fabric.

“What’s all this?”

“I’m planning Darcy’s birthday. She’s turning 5, and I want it to be perfect.”

Phil looked over her shoulder at the designs,

“She’s going to love it, Lou.”

“I hope so. Let me put this away so we can talk about your problem.”

“How did you know that’s why I’m here?”

“I’m not blind, I know something’s up. Go sit on the couch while I clean this up.”

Phil did as she said, watching her close up the binders, and put the loose bits back in a box. She joined him on the couch, turning to look at him.

“So?”

“He won’t let me come near him Louise. He’s scared of something, and really jumpy…I don’t even think he’s eating, not really. What do I do?”

Louise’s mothering instinct kicked in as she pulled him in for a hug and petted his hair.

“I’m going to tell you the same thing I told Dan. If he wants to tell you something, he will.”

Phil’s head snapped up, nearly hitting Louise in the chin, and she shoved him off her lap.

“Oi!”

“Sorry,” he said quickly, “so what was that about Dan?”

“Oops, I don’t think I was supposed to say that.”

“Louise, _what was that about Dan?_ ”

“Crap, he’s going to be mad,” she bit her lip, “ okay, early on…early on he came to me to me, and then Zoe, to ask us….about you.”

“What about me?”

“Are you joking? Do you really not remember?”

“Is this about the game room thing?”

“Among other things.”

“Like what?”

“Your hot and cold attitude, for one. One minute you would be gentle and caring, and then you were kicking him out of your bed. He was confused. You wouldn’t let him in, and   
he was confused. I think you forget just how young he really is sometimes. Think about what you were like at his age. Think about how you would feel if the person you were trying to get to know kept pushing you away. And then you add sex into the mix, and, well, there’s bound to be some hurt feelings, and confused little boys.”

“Oh god, Louise, _please_ never refer to him as a ‘little boy’ ever again.”

She patted his cheek.

“Sorry, love, but you know it’s true. He’s young, it’s harder for him to separate sex and emotions.”

“I’m an ass.” He said, resting his head on her shoulder.

“Yes, but a very cute ass. By the way, has anyone ever told you how good you smell?”

“What do I smell like?”

“Like ‘handsome man’.”

Phil laughed.

“No, I can honestly say no one has ever told me that.”

“Well, you do. Now, try and get some sleep, yeah? And maybe take Dan somewhere tomorrow, he could probably use the distraction from whatever’s been bothering him.”

“That’s actually a really good idea, thanks Louise. What would I do without you?”

“I dread to think about it.”

He laughed again, giving Louise a peck on the cheek before standing and walking over to the door.

“Good night, Louise, and thank you.”

“Good night, and you’re welcome. Now get out, I have a party to plan.”

“You know, you need some sleep too.”

“You’re not the boss of me.”

“Actually…”

“Go to bed, Phil.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He smiled, closing the door and heading to his own room.

Dan was the last thing he thought about before sleep took him away.

 

The next morning Dan was up before Phil, making toast and humming to himself.

“Good morning.”

Dan started, and turned around, catching sight of Phil, the tension leaving his face as he did.

“Good morning, why are you here?”

“I live here, remember?”

“No, I mean why aren’t you at work?”

“Took a day off.”

“Again?”

“My company, I can do what I want.”

“Do you want toast?”

“Yes, please.”

Dan waited for his own toast to pop up, before putting it on plate, and sticking in more bread for Phil.

“Do you want to go to the cinema this afternoon?”

Dan looked up, surprised.

“Like, a date?”

“If you want to call it that, yes, a date.”

His face broke out into the first genuine smile Phil had seen in awhile.

“Yeah, I’d like that a lot, actually.”

“Good,” Phil smiled, pleased that Dan had accepted, “I actually need to do some work first, but I should be done around noon, and we can head out then, yeah?”

“I’ll be ready.”

“I hope so. As much as I would love to see it, I don’t think they would let you in without any clothes on.”

Dan looked down, forgetting his was still just in his pants and an old t-shirt.

“Right, yeah, I’ll change. What are we going to see?”

“You can pick. I’ll pick you up at 12 o’clock, sharp.”

“For our date?”

“For our date.”

Phil bowed dramatically as he left the room, and Dan giggled at how silly it seemed. For the first time since the drama with Alyssa started, he felt happy and relaxed, and he was looking forward to going out with Phil, mentally planning his outfit when his phone rang.

Phil was sat at his desk, deep in concentration when he heard muffled yelling through the closed door. It sounded like it was coming from Dan’s room, so he set down his papers and went to investigate. The door to Dan’s room was ajar, and Phil saw him pacing the room, visibly agitated as he argued with whomever was on the phone.  
Phil entered the room and Dan hung up, cutting off Alyssa, and turning around to face Phil.

“Who was on the phone?” Phil asked.

“No one.” Dan answered too quickly for Phil’s liking.

“Dan, you were shouting loud enough to for me to hear you from my office. Who was on the   
phone?”

“I..I can’t tell you.”

“Dan…was it her?”

Dan nodded.

“I don’t want you talking to her.”

“Why do _you_ still talk to her?”

“She was a big part of my life for a very long time. She took the divorce really hard, and blamed herself for not "being enough for me”, as she called it. I swear she wasn’t always   
like this. Do you really think I would have married her if she was?“

Dan shook his head.

"What is your problem with her, anyway? I know she’s not the most pleasant person to be around bu–”

“She’s threatening me.” Dan cried, clapping a hand over his mouth. He hadn’t meant to admit that to Phil.

“Why would she be threatening you?”

“I don’t know,” he shrugged, trying to play it off like it wasn’t a big deal, “why do women like her do anything?”

“I know her, she’s holding a secret over you, isn’t she?”

Dan looked down at his feet.

“Dan,” Phil said quietly, “what is it?”

Dan backed away, shaking his head.

“Dan,” Phil said, louder.

Dan whispered something too quietly for Phil to hear.

“Speak up, please.”

“She was going to tell you I’m in love with you!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> good thing this wasn't a friday chapter huh?


	24. chapter twenty-three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil reacts to Dan's confession

There was a terrible, silent moment as Phil stared at Dan, unable to respond, not even reacting when Dan fled the room.

They didn’t have sex that night. Or the next one. It wasn’t just the absence of sex that bothered Dan, it was the lack of intimacy. The little touches as they brushed past each other, the fond smile Phil gave Dan whenever he lost at a game, and the millions of other things he did that brightened Dan’s day. Dan hadn’t realized how much he had come to depend on those tiny moments until they were abruptly taken from him.

Phil didn’t touch Dan for nearly a month after his confession, and Dan was miserable. The door to the game room was shut tight again, and the significance of that hurt Dan the most. Dan was convinced that any day Phil was going to tell him to pack his bags and leave, but that never happened. Instead, awkward silences and mumbled apologies had become the norm. Somehow, that was worse. The entire house could feel the energy change, but no one was brave enough to bring it up. Whenever Dan entered a room Phil was in, the other would duck out, citing a “work emergency” nearly every time. Phil had kept up his end of the bargain. Dan still got a weekly allowance, and free roam of the house, but he didn’t care, he would give up both if it meant having Phil back.

There were occasional flashes where it seemed like Phil had forgotten what was going on, and he went to hold Dan’s hand, or squeeze his shoulder, only to realize and awkwardly pull back.

It came to a boiling point on the 28th of May, at 10:46 in the morning. The date had no significance, not yet. It was just a normal spring day, wet and raining, clouds darkening the sky to a dismal gray that matched Dan’s mood. He was wandering around the house in his pajamas, bored and looking for either Louise or Zoe to talk to.  
Turning the corner, he bumped into Phil, stumbling before Phil instinctively caught him, pulling him close before he could stop himself. They stood for a moment, frozen in time, neither daring to look away. In a split second decision, Dan leaned in, and Phil turned his head.

“I..I have to go into the office today.”

Dan’s eyes snapped open, and his mouth dropped.

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“I’m sorry, I really need to go.”

Phil pushed past Dan and briskly strode down the hall to his room, taking care to hide his face.

“PHIL, IT’S SATURDAY!” Dan yelled after him.

Phil slammed his door, and Dan ran up to it, forcing it open.

“You can’t keep avoiding me Phil. Do you really expect me to believe you’re going into the office on a Saturday? A fucking Saturday? Phil, you’re barely there anyway. You told me how much you hate it. Do you really hate me more?“

Without looking up, Phil grabbed his briefcase, and left the room, leaving Dan behind. Dan stood in the middle of Phil’s room, stunned. When had things gotten this bad? This was all her fault, he thought bitterly. She was trying her best to separate them, and it was working. The last little string of hope inside Dan snapped, and he headed for the bathroom, and turned on the shower. Dan stripped down and stepped into the spray, leaning his back against the wall, and sliding down until he was sitting on the shower floor, water running down his back as he sobbed.

Meanwhile, cooped up in his office, Phil realized he has been reading the same document for the last ten minutes, and he tossed it aside. He couldn’t get Dan’s face out of his mind. His heart had broken when he rejected Dan’s kiss, but he couldn’t do it. This was just supposed to be a business arrangement. Screw the damn site and it’s fancy words, trying to hide what it truly was. It was supposed to be about sex. About Dan being spoiled. About both parties mutually benefiting from each other. No one was supposed to fall in love. How had it gone so wrong?

He did the only thing he could do. He called Alyssa.

They arranged to meet at a coffee shop. Phil arrived first, snagging a prime table in the corner with a clear view of the door. Alyssa arrived, making an entrance as always, before sitting down at his table.

“Aren’t you going to get me a coffee?”

“What would you like?”

“Are you telling me you don’t remember my order, Philly?”

Phil’s shoulders stiffened at the nickname.

“I’ll be right back.”

He returned with their drinks, and sat back down.

Phil stirred his coffee thoughtfully, carefully contemplating his next words.

“Was I a good husband to you?”

“I have to say, this is not the conversation I expected us to be having today.”

"Neither did I, honestly.”

“Why now?”

“Curiously I guess. So, was I?”

“You were, despite the fact that you were emotionally unavailable, I could never tell what you were thinking, not really. I sometimes felt like there was a brick wall between us

that I couldn’t break down, not even after three years of marriage, and let’s not forget the fact that you left me.”

“It’s not like this is a new wound, Alyssa, it’s been four years.”

“Is this your way of telling me I need to get over it?”

“No, I’m just saying–”

“I know what you’re saying. How dare I hold a grudge, right? Well, maybe you should look at it from my point of view.”

“I don’t get it. We had been friends for so long, why couldn’t we have stayed friends?”

“Are you seriously that naive? You ruined my life!”

“I _ruined your life_?”

She jutted her chin out defiantly.

“Yes.”

“That’s a pretty big accusation to be throwing around.”

“If you had really cared about me, you would have stayed.”

Phil inhaled deeply before meeting her gaze, determined to finally make her see the reality of the situation.

“I think we got married too early. I know that’s not a good excuse, but we really did. I was barely out of university at the time, and was still questioning my sexuality, something you knew. I know you assumed that because we were dating, that I had made my choice, but the truth is, Alyssa, I’m gay. I’m gay, I like men, and no matter how hard you tried, you wouldn’t have been able to change that. I’m sorry if you felt like I led you on by marrying you, I probably did, and I regret putting you through that. I don’t regret marrying you though, or the fond memories we shared. I’ve put up with a lot from you, and a small part of me believed I deserved it, but you went too far. You went after Dan. And that’s where I put my foot down, Lys. You can say and do whatever you want to me, but you will not touch him, do you understand?”

“I knew it.” She whispered.

“Don’t extend your grudge towards him. He’s done nothing to you, and I will not let you ruin this young mans life out of jealousy. I care about him too much, and I care about you too much to see your reputation tarnished over something so petty.”

“Please,” she scoffed, “my reputation was tarnished the moment you insisted on telling people you were a poof.”

“Oh, that’s real nice.”

She shrugged, and he rolled his eyes.

“I don’t think people cared.”

“Oh, people cared.”

“No, Alyssa. _You_ cared.”

“Of course I did! Do you know how embarrassing that was for me? For everyone to know that I turned my husband gay?”

“You didn’t turn me gay.”

It was Alyssa’s turn to roll her eyes and Phil stood up abruptly.

“I came here to try and fix things between us. I see now that will be impossible. Again, I’m sorry I hurt you in the past, and I’m very sorry that you rejected this olive branch. Please don’t contact me again.”

Phil returned home, emotionally drained and ready for a drink. He went to check on Dan first, but he wasn’t in his room. He wasn’t in the game room either, or the lounge. He walked into his own room, and was confused. Why was the shower running?

Dan didn’t know how long he had been in the shower when he heard the door open. His head popped up and he quickly tried to collect himself. Phil’s tall form appeared outside the door, and Dan sucked in a breath. Phil knocked tentatively.

“Can I come in?”

“No.”

“Please?”

“No.”

Sighing, Phil sunk down on the floor.

“I’ll wait.”

Minutes ticked by slowly before Dan pushed the door open with a toe. Phil stood up, accepting the invitation, and into the shower, fully clothed, to join Dan in his spot on the floor.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Dan shook his head.

“Dan…”

He looked away.

“Phil, I can’t do this. I told you I loved you, and you walked away from me. Do you have any idea how much that hurt?”

Phil raked a hand through his now wet hair.

“I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry? What are you sorry for?”

“I’m sorry I made you feel that way.”

“What way?”

“Like I didn’t love you back.”

Dan whipped his head to look at Phil.

_“What?”_


	25. chapter twenty-four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil gives Dan an explanation

Dan stared, open-mouthed, at Phil.

“What?” he repeated.

“I love you, Dan.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“I don’t expect you to. I certainly haven’t been acting like it lately.”

Dan snorted.

“That’s an understatement.”

Phil stood up, turning the shower off, and stripping out of his now ruined suit, joining Dan on the floor again.

“There, now we’re equal.”

Dan rolled his eyes and Phil sighed.

“I guess I owe you an explanation.”

“No shit.” Dan mumbled.

“I’m not going to tell you some cheesy cliche thing like ‘I knew it was you as soon as a I gazed into your beautiful brown eyes’”

“You think my eyes are beautiful?”

“Not the point.”

“Sorry, keep going.”

“I fell in love with you slowly,“ Phil confessed, "It was the little things, like the way you constantly surprise me. I never know what you’re going to say next, and I enjoy it very much, even when you’re being a little smart-ass. I love the way you blush so easily–yes just like that. When you told me you loved me too, I was afraid.”

“You were afraid?”

“Yes.”

“I should be furious with you.” Dan said, voice quavering.

“Yes, you should.”

“You _hurt_ me.”

“Yes, I did.”

“You _embarrassed_ me.”

“Yes.”

“And then you come in here and tell me you _love me too_. That you felt that way _almost as long as me_. And you _didn’t tell me_.”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

Phil was silent for a moment, trying to figure out the best way to explain.

“In the past, I allowed myself to fall in love too easily. I had my heart broken often. I let people in. I let them hurt me, and I never wanted to go through that again. That’s why this arrangement sounded so appealing to me. I got what I wanted, you got what you wanted, everyone was happy.”

“That word is so cringe.”

“It is, isn’t it.” Phil agreed.

“How long?”

“Since that night in the game room.”

“Same.” Dan breathed.

Phil raised his eyebrows.

“Excuse me?”

“I..That’s when…that’s when I first realized too.”

Phil laughed, shaking his head in disbelief.

“Why then?” He asked Dan.

“That was the first time you had truly opened up to me, how could I not? We had so much in common, we seemed to click so well, and for a while everything seemed to be falling in place.”

“But?”

“But, Alyssa came back. She came back and reminded me why I was here, and I started to doubt myself. You’re so smart and mature, and I’m always fucking up and making your life harder. How could you love me?”

“Oh, my Dan, how could I not?”

“I’m still not sure if I believe you.”

“How can I convince you?”

“Give me the reason why you waited a _month_ to tell me this.”

“I can give you two.”

Dan raised an an eyebrow expectantly and Phil continued.

“First, I was scared. I was scared because I’ve been in love before, and it ended badly.”

“Alyssa?”

“Yes.”

“I thought that ended because you came out?”

“It was rocky before then, but I really did love her, even if I wasn’t sexually attracted to her, and her reaction to my confession was not at all what I was expecting, and it hurt. That’s the reason I even considered this whole…thing. I thought I would be happy with a casual, no-strings sort of thing, but, “ he huffed out a laugh, “turns out I’m not very good at that.”

“I don’t think either of us does casual very well, Phil.”

“No, no we don’t.”

“And second?”

“You’re young.”

Dan scoffed at that.

“I’m not young. I’m 19, I’m almost 20!”

“Trust me, you’re young. You’re so very young, And that made me nervous for a variety of reasons. I worried about how it would look–”

“Because it didn’t already look bad.”

“I never said I was thinking logically. I was worried about how it would look, and I was worried that one day you might wake up and realize you settled too early, that you were stuck with a man 9 years older than you, and you would leave. Or that you might only love certain part of me.”

“Like…your money?” Dan guessed.

“Yes.”

“Phil, listen to me. Even if you weren’t a wealthy successful business man with a monster cock, I would still love you.”

Phil let out a surprised laugh. He really never knew what would come out of Dan’s mouth, and it was so so refreshing. Neither of them felt the need to censor themselves around the other, which made Phil feel strangely at ease.

“What if I was a wealthy, successful business man with a tiny cock?” He said trying to one up Dan, who giggled and pecked his lips.

"I think we could make it work.”

“Oh yeah? What if I was broke with a giant cock?”

"Stop being a weirdo and kiss me back already.”

Phil obliged, and brought his lips to Dan’s. The kiss grew heated as Dan wrapped his arms around Phil, pulling him closer and opening his mouth. Phil accepted the invitation, slipping his tongue inside. They kissed until they couldn’t, breaking apart and gasping for air.

“So,” Dan said, looking Phil up and down, “we gonna bang or what?”

“You are a horny little bastard, do you know that?”

“I’m naked, you’re naked. Logically, it makes perfect sense.”

“Oh, we’re throwing logic in the mix?”

“Look, Phil, do you want to fuck me or not?”

“I thought we were having a romantic moment.”

“Sex is romantic.”

“Can’t argue with that.”

Phil leaned forward, intending to kiss Dan again, but pulled back when he noticed the boy’s teeth were chattering violently.

“Dan, you’re freezing! How long were you in here?”

“A bit.”

“How long is a bit?”

“Ever since you left.”

Alarmed, Phil stood up quickly,reaching down and scooping Dan up, careful not to bump his head on the shower door. Dan squirmed, making a feeble noise of protest.

“Phil, you can’t carry me. I’m too heavy.”

“I carried you in Japan.”

“You did? When?”

“That night you made an ass of yourself in the karaoke bar. You could barely walk and it was the only way I could get you home.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“That was a fun night.”

“It really was.”

“It was a fun trip.”

“For you, maybe.”

“I’m really glad you brought me though.”

“Me too.” Phil said gently laying Dan down on the bed,retrieving a pair of pajamas pants and a shirt from his dresser.

“Why do I have to wear clothes? _You’re_ still naked.”

“ _I_ didn’t sit in the shower for over an hour.”

Dan wrinkled his nose.

“Are those Cookie Monster pajama pants?”

“Yes, and you should feel special that I’m letting you wear them, they’re my favorite.”

Setting the shirt on the bed, he held out the pants for Dan to slip his legs into.

“Hips up.”

Dan obliged and Phil pulled the pants on.

“Phil, you don’t have to dress me.”

“I know, but I want to. Remember what I told you when we first met?”

“I had to wear a butt plug?”

Phil adjusted the elastic on Dan’s hips and gave his waist an affectionate pinch.

“You know what I’m talking about.”

“You really do like taking care of other people, don’t you? I don’t think I’m ever met someone like you.”

“I’m one of a kind.” Phil grinned.

“One of a kind, and all mine.”

“You _didn’t_.”

Dan laughed.

“Sit up.”

Dan did, holding his arms up helpfully, allowing Phil to slip the shirt over his head and push him gently back onto the bed before laying down next to him.Dan rolled over to face Phil.

“I’m sorry about your water bill.” He said.

“I’m sorry for leaving you alone.”

“I’m glad you came back.”

“Me too.”

Phil pulled the covers over both of them, snuggling close to Dan, and nuzzling his neck.

“I love you.” He whispered softly.

Dan allowed the words to wash over him before responding. He would never get tired of hearing that.

“I love you too.”

Phil kissed his shoulder before pulling him closer. Dan curled his body against Phil and melted into the others arms.

“So what happens now?” Dan asked.

“Now, we sleep.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> only one more chapter left ahhh!!


	26. chapter twenty-five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> IT ALL ENDS  
> ...  
> ...  
> with a fluffy wrap up chapter!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this really shouldn't be making me as emotional as it is haha but thank you to everyone reading this, whether you've been here since chapter 1, or chapter 21 (even you, silent lurkers) when this started i was so sure no one would read it and now 3 months later it has an INSANE number of hits and that's crazy!! so thank you thank you thank you for sticking with me and i hope you enjoy the **last ever chapter of elastic heart** (sob)

Dan’s stomach flip-flopped as he rode the lift up to the restaurant, but this time for an entirely different reason. This reason currently had him pressed up against the wall, and was kissing him hungrily, only pausing to take a quick breath before diving back in again. Dan opened his mouth eagerly and Phil slipped his tongue inside. Dan let out a small moan at the intrusion, his brain starting to fog over from lust.

His final coherent thought before Phil moved to his neck was that kissing is a seriously underrated activity. It was very rare that they kissed without some sort of an agenda. Sex with Phil was amazing, but it was times like this that Dan felt closest to him.

Dan was panting heavily when Phil placed a final kiss just above Dan’s collar bone, pulling back and smiling shyly at Dan.

“Hi.”

Dan leaned forward, burying his head in Phil’s shoulder, inhaling deeply. The smell of cinnamon flooded his nostrils, and he smiled, memories of the shower they had taken that morning still fresh in his mind.

“Hi.” He said, voice muffled slightly by Phil’s coat.

Phil wrapped his arms around Dan and squeezed.

“Thank you.”

“Thank you? For what?”

“For this, for being you.”

“God, you’re so damn soppy.” Dan replied, face still hidden.

Phil swatted Dan’s hip.

“Don’t be an ass when I’m trying to be romantic.”

The lift slowed to a stop and Dan raised his head. The doors opened, but Phil didn’t budge.

“We should probably get out now.”

“Yeah.”

“That involves you moving.”

“Yeah.”

Slipping his hand between them, he tickled Phil in the spot he knew was the most sensitive. Phil squealed, pulling away.

“I know your weakness.” Dan gloated.

“You’re my weakness.”

“Gross.”

Phil brought Dan’s hand to his lips and kissed it.

“Only for you.”

They entered the restaurant and were seated almost immediately. Dan noticed something very familiar about the spot.

“Did you really get the same table?”

Phil tried and failed to look innocent.

“I’m sure it was just a coincidence.”

Phil pulled Dan’s chair out for him and Dan took his seat.

“Why is there a card that says reserved?”

“I don’t know.”

“There’s already champagne on the table. And food.”

“You caught me,“ Phil admitted, sitting down on Dan’s right side, and quickly changing the subject, “it’s a good thing you’re left handed, or this would be extremely inconvenient.”

“It’s like we were made for each other.” Dan joked.

“Yes.”

“What did I say about being soppy?”

“What did I say about being an ass?”

“So, you big sop, what are we now?” Dan asked.

“We’re Dan and Phil.”

Dan rolled his eyes.

“Yes, I know that, but what are we.”

“We’re whatever you want to be.”

“We can be Dan and Phil then.”

Phil turned to face Dan, raising his glass, and motioning for Dan to do the same.

“I propose a toast, to…to…”

“To being Dan and Phil.” Dan finished helpfully.

“That’s so cheesy.”

“It’s supposed to be cheesy.”

They clinked glasses, and sat them down. Dan noticed Phil staring at him intently.

“Something on your mind?” He asked.  
“I was just thinking about the first time we came here. I was so nervous that day.” Phil said.

“ _You_ were nervous?”

“Of course! I had no idea what I was doing! This was entirely new to me. I was worried I had scared you off.”

“What, with your butt plug obsession?”

Phil blushed.

“It’s not an obsession. I don’t even really like them that much. It’s just something I heard.”

“Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god, that’s great.” Dan said, clutching his stomach and laughing. Blushing, Phil covered his face with his hands, peeking out at Dan from between his fingers.

“Just out of curiosity, what exactly would you have done if I agreed to that?” Dan asked.

“Honestly, I have no idea.”

“Hey, Phil.”

“What?”

“How do you charge a kinky robot?”

“How?”

“With a buttplug.”

“Jesus Christ, Dan, that was terrible.”

“You loved it.”

“I love you. C'mere, my little kinky robot.”

“Beep boop.”

“I’m going to kiss you now.”

“Preparing for incoming kiss.” Dan said robotically.

Phil gave him a quick peck before poking his neck.

“Ouch,” Dan cried, flinching, “what was that for?”

“I found the off button.”

“You are such a dork.” He said as he reached up to brush his hand through Phil’s hair, pushing his quiff down so that it covered his forehead.

“What are you doing?”

Dan ignored him and continued arranging Phil’s hair, titling his head to the side to admire his handiwork.

“You look cute like that.”

“The quiff stays,” Phil said, fixing it, before changing the subject, “so, why were you nervous?”

“I didn’t know what to expect. I was prepared for a creepy old man to be honest.”

“Are you saying I’m _not_ a creepy old man?”

“Oh, yeah,” Dan rolled his eyes, “you’re the creepiest.”

“I’m sorry it took us so long to get to this point.”

“We had some amazing sex along the way.”

“Are you saying that’s going to stop?”

Dan placed a hand on Phil’s knee, slowly running it up his thigh, stopping just before his crotch.

“Fuck no.”

“Eat your dinner.”

“Yes, Daddy.”

Phil flinched.

“Please never say that again.” He shuddered.

“What, Daddy?”

“Yes, it’s weird.”

“Make me.”

Phil grabbed his face, crashing their lips together. Dan flailed his arms slightly as he was pulled off balance, but he caught himself and melted into the kiss. Phil threaded his fingers through Dan’s hair, enjoying the feel of the soft curls in his hands.

“Ahem.” came a voice from their left.

They pulled apart quickly, looking guiltily at the waiter standing in front of their table.

“Can I get you two a dessert menu?”

Dan chose that moment to brush his hand over Phil’s crotch. He jumped as he felt Dan palming him through his trousers.

“No,” he answered, fighting to keep his voice neutral as the heel of Dan’s hand pressed into his hardening cock, “no I don’t think so. Just the check please.”

Dan pulled at the zipper and Phil grabbed his wrist.

“Not here.”

When they finally exited the building, night had fallen.

Dan reached out to grab Phil’s hand, and noticed he was sniffling.

“Did I do something wrong?”

Phil shook his head, tears threatening to spill over.

“Sorry, I’m just really really happy. My heart keeps doing the flippy over thing.”

“What does that even mean?”

“It means I love you.”

Cupping Phil’s face, Dan pulled him in for a kiss, just a gentle press of lips that managed to convey everything he was feeling in that moment.

“I love you too. Now let’s go home and have some more amazing sex.”

Chuckling, Phil allowed himself to be dragged away.

Afterwords, they lay together in a haze, Dan starting to drift off as Phil brushed his sweaty fringe from his forehead. He stared down at the beautiful boy in his arms, and felt his heart do the flippy-over thing again. He gently shook Dan’s shoulder and Dan opened one eye, glaring at him in annoyance. His face softened when he saw the look Phil was giving him. There was no way he could be mad at that face.

“What is so important that you had to wake me up?” He grumbled.

“I know it’s last minute, but there’s a party tomorrow night that I have to attend, do you want to go?”

“I don’t know, we don’t really have the best track record with parties.”

Phil grazed his fingers over Dan’s stomach, tracing patterns on his tanned skin.

“Speaking of parties, I know a certain someone who’s turning 20 soon.”

Dan scrunched up his face.

“Noooo, I refuse.”

“Afraid to grow up?”

“Afraid to get old.”

“Ouch.”

“You know what I mean,” Dan said, nipping at Phil’s shoulder playfully. Phil reached over to stroke Dan’s cheek, watching a blush appear under his fingertips. Phil caught Dan’s chin and pulled his head up until their eyes met.

“I love you.” He said, resting his forehead against Dan’s.

“Will you still love me when I’m not young and pretty anymore?”

Phil chuckled softly, pulling Dan closer to him.

“Even longer, love.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S OVER WHO WANTS TO CRY WITH ME


End file.
